Isn't it a bad idea for white people to adopt a black baby?

vimesfan01

I don't think so.

The racial divide has to end sometime. Need to keep plugging away at it.

jonandtami

I raised two bi-racial children (my own)

When he was twelve,my son missed his dad and decided to live with him. So now I (the Caucasian mom) see him every other weekend ...i know, it's sad and I miss him.

My daughter stayed with me.

Here's what's funny: My son has primarily Caucasian friends and pretty much acts "white" (if there is such a thing).

My daughter has primarily African American friends. She doesn't talk a lot of slang, but more than my son.

It's odd, isn't it?

To answer the question: I would imagine a black child if asked would say they would rather be adopted by ANYONE rather than not be adopted and slung around between foster homes.

Everyone needs a sense of belonging and love.

Bouvier

I don't agree.....Do you also think that it is a bad idea for a white woman and black man to marry and have a biological baby who may carry more white or more black genes? That's one of the glories of adoption, even biological families these days have differences in appearance.

wynn

You have a point, parents should take into consideration what their community is like when they adopt. If they live in a community that would be hostile toward their children, they should either move or rethink their plans.

My community is pretty diverse (and we all live together, we don't have to "cross sides"), and everyone black/white/whatever is welcoming and warm toward my children. They know it's not the children's fault they ended up in need of a home and got "stuck" with me. But really, where I live, our family doesn't stand out all that much.

Black Barbie

i, presonally dont think theirs anything wrong with adopting a african american baby.
just as long as you make it clear to the people around you to except him the way he is regardless if he's black or not.

Jennifer L

Hi there.

We adopted transracially from Liberia. Our children have had no problems being accepted by the black community, or even the African community (there is a large African refugee population where I live).

In my extended family, there are biracial and black members (not adopted) and they have experienced some problems associating with the black community, but they are also in their late twenties/early thirties.

My point is, quite a bit has changed since my black and biracial relatives were kids at school, as they've changed since you've been in school.

For my family, we went to great lengths to educate ourselves on the challenges of adopting transracially. Lots of adoptive parents seem to want to put on those "color blind" glasses and pretend race doesn't matter. Well, it may not matter to them, but it does to the child and the community as a whole. We educated ourselves on racism, on skin/hair care, and a host of other things. My family is fortunate, because we've never needed to go far for help or advice.

So, I don't necessarily think it's a bad idea to adopt transracially, but only if the adoptive parents are ready and able to meet the challenges.

Best of luck to you.

Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot

my white brother-in-law married a white woman with a bi-racial son. He looks black to anyone on the outside looking in (but if you actually look at him and my sister-in-law, they do share facial features). Anyway, to an outsider looking in, with his two white little sisters, he may look adopted. How can you tell as an outsider how the family was formed? Is it a bad idea for them to raise him together, even though his bio dad has no part in his life?

Gaia Raain

I think that if adoptive parents are extremely diligent in making sure that their child's racial identity is honored, that might make things easier. But it grates on my nerves to hear people say, "you're just racist if you think people shouldn't adopt outside their race", because I have major issues with using a child to further your agenda. I'm against racism, massively. I'm a Heinz 57 myself (I'm a little bit of everything), and I severely hate racism, with a passion. But my hatred for racism doesn't make it go away, and NO child should be put in the position of crusader for ANY cause. Just because racism shouldn't exist does not mean your child won't feel it.

That being said, we don't care what our future kids look like. If we end up getting placed with a child who does not look like us, we will do everything in our power to make sure our child's racial identity is honored, and that s/he has every possible connection to his/her roots. [ETA: We'll do the same thing whether or not there are racial issues.] But we WON'T ask our kids to pretend like race doesn't matter.

Here are some films you might like:
http://www.adoptedthemovie.com/
http://onthefaultline.com/

Crucio

No I donâ€™t think so. There can be challenges to Transracially adoption regardless of the Childs race. If someone wouldnâ€™t accept someone for so such a petty reason. IMO they are not worthy of you at all and are very ignorant and probably even a bit racist as well.

I do agree someone who does a transracially adoption should think of the area they are living in. Iâ€™ve said it before a diverse area imo is best for people who do transracailly adoption. They should also read up on cultures/ etc.

amyhpete

I think any baby should be in a loving home -- bio; adopted; blended family; black; white; Asian; purple; whatever.

I do think especially for black and Native American babies however that a like-cultured family should be found if at all possible. I can see (and where I am from I am more familiar with Native American than black) where a child does lose a bit of his or her heritage with a European-ancestry family.

I do not think a loving family should be passed by for any child while they wait for a possible like-culture family to become available though.

Possum

It's funny really (in an annoying kind of way...) - most of those that have answered here - know NOTHING about what it feels like to be an adoptee - let alone a TRA (trans-racial adoptee).
I'm a white adoptee - and lived in a white family - and even I felt out of place - because we had so many differences.
I can only just begin to imagine what it feels like for a TRA.

People jump in - because they think it's a 'race issue' - talking about crossing the divide etc - but don't 'get it' at all - about what you're trying to say.

*sigh*
It's sad really - but some do get it - and the word is starting to get out.

Have you seen the many blogs written by adoptees - especially trans-racial adoptees??
Their voices are getting stronger - and they are finally being heard - just.
I have hope that day by day - more will get what you are getting at.

It is EXTREMELY hard to grow amoungst those that don't look like you - don't act like you - don't have talents like you.

Add to that - don't live the same culture as you - know the same language as you - and an adoptee is in for a whole HEAP of head mess.

It can be done - this cross-culture thing - but the adoptive parents must truly have their eyes and ears open - and do all they can to find ways for the adoptee to learn and be able to immerse themselves in the culture they are missing out on.

Here's the blog address for 'Harlow's Monkey' - a wonderful blogging adoptee from Korea - with many many links to other blogging adoptees out there on the internet -
http://harlowmonkey.typepad.com/harlows_monkey/

And here is a link to a great adoptee forum - hope you can drop by -
http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index.php

The bottom line - PAP's need to go into adoptions much more well educated than many currently are.
There is far more to parenting a trans-racial adoptee - than parenting a bio child.

Shannon

No, there is nothing wrong with a white couple adopting anyone of any race. They opened their home to a child who needed one and thats all that really matters.

As far as blending in, etc. People need to begin to act as who they are and not as how other people want them to be. There nothing wrong with a black person hanging out with white people (and vice versa and include more races in this. Also, I have known many mixed people who had white mothers but had no trouble fitting in with the majority of my schools- "blacks". My children are also mixed but we are looking for more of a diverse school so our children won't be pushed one way or the other and can just be themselves.

â™«â–ºPhillipians 4:13â—„â™«

I guess it would depend on what kind of people you're associating yourself w/. There are always going to people who don't accept you for whatever reason, and then there will people who do accept you for all reasons. There are going to be rude, ignorant racist people everywhere you go, and they are the ones that we need to not associate ourselves w/.
I to face this type of discomfort on a regular basis, we just need to get our heads up and keep on keepin' on.

natasha

I think it's wonderful if white people adopt a black baby.
i fact, i want to adopt a Black child one day.

Whatsername

I think it doesnt matter who adopted you. You are what you are, and they are what they are. There isn't a difference between black and white people, really. It doesnt matter who adopted you, you should be accepted by anybody no matter what.

JennaBear

It's hard just being white and adopted into a white family. Just last week I learned I'm part French and part Czech, with a completely different family history than I had grown up with. I look different enough from my white family that we get comments on it...so I cannot even imagine how hard it would be to be a black child raised in a white family, even if there is tons of love and a more accepting community. Racism still exists even if white people want to pretend it doesn't, and adopting a child to try and cross the 'racial divide' puts an inordinate amount of pressure on the child. While bi-racial children still experience racism, at least they can go home and see a reflection of how they were made at home, a black child adopted in a white family does not have that privilege.

And it really frustrates me that most of the people who respond that white people adopting black babies is so fantastic aren't even adopted themselves. Ask other adoptees and listen to what they have to say. Our experience is real. Being adopted is hard, even if we love our family tremendously.

Independ"ant"

With the way adoption is today, I don't think anyone should be able to adopt. Helping a mother struggling to raise her child because the deadbeat dad isn't made to be held responsible should be more of a priority than passing children out like puppies.
I don't think race should play a factor unless a child is being taken out of a country and away from their true heritage.
In the US, where there's racism on all sides, I can see how this would be difficult for a adopted children that didn't have a choice. If you feel that its not a good thing, be a voice to stop it. I would.
If you were adopted from the DR and not the US, I'm sure that it would be very easy to find your mother/father. Its a very small country and most birth mothers are waiting for their children to return. It would help you if you're struggling with identity or any issue that adoption has caused. I hope your ap's are supportive. Good luck.

BTW: I have two nephews whose dad is from the DR.
I think AP's don't get that there is a difference between having children of mixed races/cultures within the family and putting a child in a home that is completely different.

Tommy T

My sister is white and adopted a Black baby. We love our little niece sooo much and dont really look at black or white. We go to a church that is Priamary Black with a few white people. They all except her as much as we do. I thank if A baby is truely loved by what ever color and is taken care of like they should be then color does not matter.

Zuko

I'm torn here... I'm by no means a racist, but my eyes have been OPENED. WIDE. to issues concerning adoption. The fact of the matter is that even if you're a white kid adopted by a while family (as I am) you still stick out like a sore thumb in the family. (believe me. I do.)

Yes, there are black children out there who need love just like white kids. I'm only in support of adoption if a) the records are OPEN and b) there is extreme abuse and/or neglect on the part of the f-parents and they refuse counseling and parenting classes ect. to change the way they conduct themselves.

If the adoption meets those to critera, then fine. I'll accept it. As far as the race issue, the adoptive parents HAVE to educate themselves not only on the issues of adoptees, but ALSO on the adoptee's culture. They need to find away to help that kid square away both his new family and old families cultures and incorporate them both into who he is. Obviously, the child can't pretend he's white anymore than he can pretend he's living with a black family.

I think it's the adoptive parents job to help the adoptee through that and help him accept who he is, without trying to mold who they want him to be.

ms.bubbles99

It's okay for any culture to adopt any other type of culture, it's not like you will die or anything if you touch the baby. It's a living human like all of us and we have to treat it with respect and love and care. Take good care of that baby and keep learning that it's no diffrent than you because we all are alive human and the same!

Shelly B

Its not a bad idea. Some people are shallow but more and more people are becoming adaptive to differences, no matter what they are. I know someone who has a black baby and they are white. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. They will find their way through life. They will be loved soo much! Some people might not like it but everyone in the world has been picked on or disliked because of something, skin color, hair color, name, etc. They will find the people who love them and respect who they are, as we all do.

cheetah

its not a bad idea at all, adoption basically gives parents a child who they cant have due to many reasons and it gives the child parents who can care for him like their own. If white people can instill the good values of their own and then instill good values of black people like hard work etc then there is no reason why that child wont become successful in life. The only problem there is though is that these days white people teach the adopted child the worst of their values like getting drunk and being lazy all day and the child as he is going on the bad lines adopts bad values of black people as well like shouting on the street, drugs, gangs etc

Ted

Heather, you're more than welcome to talk to my biracial (black/white) adopted son and ask him how he likes living with his white parents. I can also introduce you to a dozen or more like him. They'll all tell you good things. I'm sorry for your situation, but for you to be so shallow to say that adoptive parents do not consider the feelings of the child is offensive.

I will add to the discussion that parents that adopt children of a different race need to be intentional about surrounding that child with playmates, other adults, toys, books, etc., that they can identify with.

DarthFangNutts

Not sure really the basis for this thought that white should not adopt black. What, the white parent can't talk "jive" so they won't make appropriate parents? What about the parent that can't speak Chinese or Korean? Only a parent of the same ethnicity should adopt from their "own kind" ???

First of all, we are all "HUMAN" by species, so we are what we are by how our parents bring us up. A black, white, Asian, child are only ethnically the way they are by virtue of where they live and how their parents raised them.

To me, a white child born and raised in China, speaking Chinese, I would consider to be "Chinese" For me, I hate being referred to as Asian-American. I was not born here, okay, so tag me with that. My daughters were born here, so they are American, as any one else born in America.

institutionalized420

ever seen diffrent strokes? LOL jk

But no I dont think its bad as long as the parents are caring.

And no matter what race you are, racism is wrong so whatever you've experienced from others should be chalked up to ignorance.

Just me

Absolutely not; people in general need to be more tolerant of all races. If they were this would not be an issue. I think a family that is adopting is a beautiful thing what ever the race or gender is. Good Luck and please ignore any of the crude remarks you might receive for your question.

Caninelegion

Yours is one of the theories of thoughts but it makes little sense to me. Loving parents are the main ingredient and far too many children are not adopted due to blind following of stereotypic rules. The sad fact is that there are multitudes of black and bi-racial babies available that would be adopted by whites (white babies for adoption are scarce) who would provide them a loving home that are doomed to a loveless childhood due to this line of thought.

Another theory which makes even less sense to me and is racist is that doing so waters down black culture.

I just believe that, even with the difficulties that may happen, having loving married parents is more important for a child then not to be adopted and to live with foster parents or in an orphanage.

â™ª Patti Austin Fan â™ª

No.

Sicilia shines

I don't think they would have it any harder than a person of mixed heritage. They are still considered black, like Obama, but have white family. Sadly there are more black children in the US and children of color world wide than white children who need to be adopted. If it was not allowed many kids would grow up in foster care, orphanges etc.

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