Iwas Just told that I was adopted!?

cantstopLinnyG

First things first- there are no "shoulds" as to how you should feel when it comes to adoption. Some are perfectly happy and have no affects, but many do. there's no right or wrong.

As for myself, I would have been furious with my parents. Being adopted is MY TRUTH. Plain and simple. Parents are supposed to teach their children to never lie, and to lie to their kids about something so important is child abuse, IN MY OPINION.

You should now try and get as much info from them as you can, like which agency handled your adoption, and any legal documents, so if you want to search you can.

Here is a website that may help you. It's for late discovery adoptees.

http://www.latediscovery.org/

Im sorry your parents lied to you. Hopefully, someday you will be able to trust them again.

ETA for Caffelatte:
Are you serious??? What is wrong with you? how incredibly insensitive and misinformed can you be, to tell this child to "Accept it, and try not to act like a 5 year old about it. Be grateful."
You are an adoptee's worst nightmare for a parent. I hope you NEVER adopt, or for that matter, even KNOW any adoptees. How sad for you that you could be so cruel.
I hope no one tells you to "accept it and try not to act like a 5 year old" if you lose YOUR entire family. Despicable.

red elephants

I really hope you are just a troll and a bored kid. Otherwise you have the worst luck being both raped 4 days ago and then finding out you are adopted. In either case you might need to talk to a therapist. If a troll you are really disturbed and need to grow up. If this is real then you have gone through 2 really traumatic experiences in such a short time that it might be good to have someone neutral to talk about it all with and help you sort things out.

Assuming this is real then you have every right to feel angry or really any other emotion be it not bothered at all or really upset. This is a big deal and you have to sort through your emotions. Take some time to cool down and then calmly talk with your parents. If you go into it right now you could very well say some things that you will regret and will wish you could take back. I say that from my own experiences in the last year (though not adoption). If you say something really hurtful out of anger it won't be forgotten even if you mend your relationship down the line.

They are your parents for better or worse. I'm not trying to minimize any pain you will go through but one thing to remember is your parents are only human and likely were doing the best they could. It doesn't make things any better but we all make mistakes even when our intentions may be pure.

If you want to meet your bio relatives go for it. If not then say so. You have no obligation to get to know them. Take some time and let everything sink in before you make any rash decisions.

'Insert name here'

I understand that your mad but they will always be your parents because they RAISED you. If you find yourself longing to know about your natural parents then meet your aunt and uncle, they may have great reasons for not adopting you themselves. Talk to people. Enough people don't do this where adoption is concerned.

hades

be glad they told you i found out that i was adopted 2 years ago when i was 20, after coming back from iraq and that my real mother was the woman i grew up knowing as my aunt. i still hold a grudge against my adopted parents for not telling me sooner. i have a good relationship with my real mom and my younger brothers but they don't know about it yet i want to tell them later this year the next time i see them.

personally i would hold a grudge against them for not taking you in but hear them out they may have had a good reason in that they may not have had the capability to take care of you. you don't have to like them by any means but you may want to learn about your real family.

Heather B

Id like to know how you were adopted from France. France does not have an international adoption program to the USA. Never has.

Anyway, don't let people tell you to be 'grateful' for losing your entire family, heritage and identity. That's a ridiculous thing to say to anyone.

Ian Wi

I wouldn't be mad. They were worried about how you would take it. They were concerned for you. Think- they moved to a foreign country that speaks a different language for a year so they could adopt you. As for the birth relatives, I would be pissed off at them for orphaning me just because they didn't want me! Putting a baby up for adoption is one thing, but making it live as an orphan because you don't have the time is effing rude.

I am adopted and I personally think that it isn't something that should be hidden. But don't be angry. But you shouldn't let anyone tell you how you're supposed to feel. Not us. Not your parents. Not that dumbass who told you you need to feel grateful and has that picture with the white shirt. You decide how you feel.

Beautiiful Diisaster

No sweetie, you shouldn't be mad at them. It's not them who took you away from your real parents; it's your real parents that gave you up for adoption, you should be mad at your real parents. Be happy that you're here now, grown-up and living well.

As for your adopted parents, they were most likely waiting for the right time to tell you.. when they thought you were old enough and could handle the situation.

At least they told you, right? They could've kept this huge secret from you for the rest of your life. I think they did the right thing.

For now, you should enjoy the stories they have to tell about this 'adventure' and ask as many questions as you'd like.

ohsnapitstarrah

no. think of it like this. if they did tell you. think of how much pain you will have to endure when growing up.... you could have had low self esteem, or hate your parents, or get teased. you should just tell your parents you dont care who your parents are.. but they are the only parents you love and have.

Real Moms Raise Their Children

Why don't you focus on how much the parents who raised you loved you, instead of being mad at them? They probably didn't tell you because they didn't want you to fee 'unwanted' or like trash, or like you were different. They probably made you feel like you really were part of the family, like you were always one of them. That's why they didn't tell you. You shouldn't be selfish and rude to them. You should be grateful they took you in and loved you. Your life is going to change. Accept it, and try not to act like a 5 year old about it. Be grateful.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: