Learning about me & my past...?

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Learning about me & my past...?
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I'm 19 years old and I was adopted when I was 2 years old through the state of MA. My Mom & Dad have a file of information which I've been through (in secret). I know my birth last name but couldn't find my birth father or mother's first names. My birth mother said my birth father was killed on the steps of a courthouse of either NYC or Boston but they couldn't verify this and think she may not have known who the father was.

I'm nervous to ask to many questions... I really don't want to hurt my parents feelings because I love them. But since I came to college I've been really curious again (I go through cycles). And this time, the feelings haven't faded.

What I really want is a photo of my birth mom. I've been wanting this for a long time. I don't even want to find her right now, just get more information about her. Even her 1st name...

I keep in contact with my social worker even though she isn't a legal part of my life, she is a great friend. She doesn't work on adoptions anymore, but if I e-mailed her do you think she could help? Should I ask my parents first?

I just need somewhere to begin...

Independ"ant"

"but if I e-mailed her do you think she could help? "

It wouldn't hurt to ask her. She may have good friends still working as social workers that may be able to (in secret) pull some strings.

"Should I ask my parents first?"

If your asking then maybe it wouldn't be so wise.....have they ever suggested helping you search if/when you wanted some answers.
If you feel they will help you without being emotional baggage..ask away. Right now its just about you and information that you're entitled to.......focus on the most efficient way of obtaining it.

Emily D

I would casually mention it in conversation just to see their reaction. Personally I talk to my mom about my adoption very openly. You never know, they might surprise you! I would say something to my mom like "Mom, look, I've been wondering about some things lately and I've decided that I want to try and find out about my birth mother. Your support in this would mean the world to me." You never know, they might even go so far as to help you look.

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