MY FIANCE WANTS TO ADOPT MY TWO YR OF DAUGHTER WHOES FATHER LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE AND DOES NOTHING TO CONTACT?

Coach Alice ATC/PT

Get married first!!!

Then have a family lawyer work on a step-child adoption. It's a very straight forward, affordable, and somewhat quick process. (couple of months). The court will be contacting, or attempt to contact your ex. Not you. If they fail to contact him, OR he fails to respond to several requests, then a default judgement will be made in your favor. Again, the court does most of the work, not you. You simply pay the lawyer to manage the process.

shea14shea

After you are married you can take it to court. If you have no address for him it should be fairly easy because you have no way of serving him papers. All you have to do is post the court date in the paper. When he does not show up (which inevitably he will not), you should win by default. Of course you will have to hire a lawyer but it is a fairly simple process so it shouldn't be too bad. Talk to a lawyer just in case there is anything else required in your state like a period of time you must be married or something. The other option is having him sign his rights away, but if he won't call, I doubt that will happen.

Newt

April, you can go for adoption there is nothing wrong with doing this.
but as others have said you will have to have the permission of the biological father at some point in the proceeds.
If you go through a lawyer then they may be able to help you trace and contact the biological father for his permission and to state your case to him as to why you want to do it.
whether he gives this permission is up to him.
You may be able to go to court to ask the court to decide on it.
Anything is worth a try if you truly feel that this is what you want for your family
I wish you much luck

kat

He can only adopt her if the bio father signs the papers giving up his rights. If it is ok with the bio father then he should be able to adopt her. You will definitely need to see a lawyer about this.

sevenofus

Your best course of action is to contact a lawyer in your area that specializes in adoption law. All states have different regulations for this sort of thing. I think most states require you to be married before your fiance can adopt your daughter. There will also be paperwork involving your daughter's biological father. If he has not seen her or paid child support, it is possible a judge will terminate his parental rights. But, he may also have to sign off his rights on his own. Since this involves 2 different states, it will be more complicated legally. I know that some states require a parent to be married for a specific length of time to their spouse before the spouse can petition for adoption of the children.

aloha.girl59

Let me get this straight.

You've only been "split" from your kid's dad for 6 months and you have been with someone else for a year? And now you're marrying him? Nice.

It doesn't matter if the kid's father "does nothing to contact her." He's still her father. That's a choice YOU made, not the kid. If this new guy marries you, he can adopt IF and only IF the child's father signs over his rights.

You do realize, of course, that if your new honey adopts your child and you "split" someday, he gets half the rights to her, right? You could end up paying HIM child support...for YOUR kid! Crazy.

He will probably have to sign off or you will have to prove abandonment but it can be done. Contact New Mexico Christian Children's home in Portalas, New Mexico and they can help walk you through this as they handle adoptions

Melissa

Wow! We could share stories, I bet. My ex lives in North Carolina and hasn't paid me a dime of child support since February of this year. We were married for almost 8 years. My daughter, who is almost 11 now wants to hyphenate her last name with my last name, I have been married for 8 years now with her step-dad, he has known me since she was born. I called and asked her dad if he would allow it, he talked to her and said he would sign the papers. He wasn't very happy about it, but her reasons were good enough. You should check your state's requirements about name changing for a minor. We live in CA, they said we had to have father's permission to do it..which we do. You haven't received any support, nor is he in contact with her. You should have a good case being he abandoned her basically, very sad. I'm sure you can do it, you will need to prove that there has not been any contact.....you might want to let the bio dad know what you are doing...send him a letter, he may give permission, then it would be easier for you. If not, you have the abandon issue....good luck!!!

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