Marriage, adoption, and fathers consent.?
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Marriage, adoption, and fathers consent.?
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I am currently going through a divorce because my husband has been cheating on me and I was 4.5 months pregnant when I found out and he is now engaged and possibly expecting another child. I am now 6.5 months pregnant and I have two kids from a previous relationship and their father has nothing to do with them other than paying child support that the court finally ordered, I raise my 16 year old sister as well, and I am only 20 years old and don't have any family to fall back on. I don't need to hear "have your tubes tied" because I'm already scheduled for that early next year so if you have something rude to say please don't bother. It may sound selfish but I haven't gotten to see any of my friends since March and I barely get any sleep, and I need a break. I'm stressed out to the point where sometimes I sit in the floor and just cry for no reason. I really don't think that I can handle another baby right now and I want my daughter to go to a family that can devote all their time to her and to go to someone who is financially stable. The problem is that even though my soon to be ex husband doesn't ever bother to call and check on her and the appointments and doesn't really seem to care, he refuses to sign the consent forms and if he doesn't then I just have to stick it out because he is irresponsible and I've seen the way he is with other kids (not good) and I'm not signing over my rights to him and sitting here worrying everyday about whether she's being properly taken care of. I want the best for my daughter but is there any way around the system to where I wouldn't have to have his consent for the adoption because he is going to fight me tooth and nail on this? I live in Florida if that helps.
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Sly
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I am not trying to second guess your decision. I am just trying to give you the perspective of a woman who has lived with the loss of a child to adoption for over 40 years.
The advice I will give you is please, please wait to make any decision until a few weeks after your baby is born. You have options and there are people who will help you. I know you are swamped and you are feeling overwhelmed, but I promise you that you will never, ever be sent more than you can handle no matter how monumental it all seems right now. You CAN do this, you CAN raise your child. The loss of a child to adoption is forever and once you sign the papers, your infant is gone. Take your time. Wait until you are healed and have a chance to look at things without your hormones running rampant. There is no rush. Once your daughter is gone and you have signed the papers that terminate your parenthood forever, you will not be given a chance to change your mind.
Let me know where you are, and what you need and I will see what we can do to help you. You are truly not alone. there are people who care, who give a damn and will offer you help. Email me if you would like. |
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choice_4_men
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There are plenty of cases where the adoption agency sneaks the adoption past without the father knowing. For every agency that has done this I hope they get sued till they are bankrupt. Fathers should have just as much rights to their children as the mother.
You will have to continue to try to convince him that it is cheaper to let you adopt it than him be another support payer to you. |
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carebear mommasita 07
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Unfortunately, you will need to get his consent for adoption. I would just tell him what you said here about wanting to give your daughter the shot at life and you can't give it to her. As far as you know, he might take her, and that might be a better situation. I would get an adoption attorney and talk to them about putting your daughter up for adoption.
I would just like to say I congratulate you. You are very responsible. You know that you can't take care of this child, and you are doing the right thing. You have enough on your plate and you can't take on anymore. I would just convey your feelings and emotions to your ex husband and tell him that you can't take this on. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Good luck and we wish you well!! |
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