May I ask all the adoptees...?

Possum

I had a fairly OK life - but my adoption didn't need to happen - and I always felt incomplete.
My mother was forced to go to another state by her family - and 'not come back with that baby' - even though my father offered marriage.
They married 6 months after my birth - and had 3 more kids.
I was not allowed to know about my family of origin - I was not even allowed to talk about it.
I didn't look like my adoptive family - and felt like an outsider.
My unease with being adopted has nothing to do with how good or bad my life was - or whether my adoptive parents showed love or not - I just didn't feel I totally fitted in - and would have preferred to have lived amoungst those that looked, acted and had talents like me.

I've found my bio family - and so far have met only one member - and am in email and phone contact with another.
The genetic similarities are astounding.
I finally know where I fit in.

No child should have to grow up without knowing where they came from - and who they look like.
In the USA many adoptees are not even allowed to gain access to their own original birth certificate when they turn 18 - because of outrageous laws that seal the adoption records forever.
(In Australia - thankfully - we are allowed our OBC's and adoption info on turning 18)

I believe adoption should only take place - if there is danger present and the child needs a permanent home. No mother and child should be separated because society says they should - or because of monetary problems.
Adoption is no guarantee of a 'better' life.
Adoption is a permanent solution to an often temporary problem.
There should be far more thought into how the child will one day feel about their adoption - instead of just expecting that they should be grateful for the adult decisions that are made - too often thinking more about the adult needs - than what is best for the child.

I'm happy for you that your life has gone well.

Mei-Ling

I had a happy childhood.

I have very good and loving adoptive parents.

But I (sometimes) still wish that I had been raised by my biological parents.

BOTZ

I was adopted shortly after birth. I am not happy about it. I had a pretty awful life that was neither full nor happy. My poor little sister had it much worse than I did, though.

Our adoptive mother became abusive during my childhood but it wasn't long before I was bigger than her and she couldn't pick on me any more. It was a lot longer for my sis, although I did my best to protect her.

I have now been reunited with my natural families for about 4 years and I can say, without ANY hesitation or reservation, that I would much rather have stayed with them -- either one of my parents, both, or going back and forth. NONE of those scenarios could have/would have been as bad as the "better" life I got through adoption.

I have a great, happy life NOW (at 36 years old) but that is IN SPITE OF, certainly not because of, my adoption.

Andraya

My life has been a series of ups and downs... like everyone's. I feel that I have had an interesting life this far, lots of experiences. I wish I had stayed with my fmom. I love her, she loves me. Always have and always will.

PhilM

I'm glad some people are happy. But many aren't.

I have had a happy life. And I wish I had stayed with my biological parents.

If that seems contradictory, so be it. I am not happy I was adopted, even while I've had a happy life.

Go figure.

Cool Hal

Everyone is different

For me I hate being adopted but love my adoptive parents.

Would I have been better off staying with bio mum who knows? Maybe, maybe not

GREG B

I consider my adoptive parents my real parents, and always have. Apparently, over the first part of the year after I was adopted, I would cry whenever my mom tried to hold me. Makes me wonder if I wasn't abused or neglected previously.

It's been good, but with the normal ups and downs. I have no desire to find my "birth mom". Perhaps I have some resentment towards her, but if so-- it's deep under the surface.

I'd rather not adopt a kid, myself. Seems like quite a gamble. However, I have respect and admiration for those who do.

Side note-- when I become friends with someone and it turns out they were adopted as well, it seems to form a unique bond. Nothing "really strong," but kinda like when you move somewhere and meet-up with someone who is a native of your home state.

Anha S

No, not particularily happy about the whole situation. It didn't need to happen at all, nor did it need to happen the way it did. I didn't have a full or happy life during my childhood. However, I am finding out just how life was for my sister growing up, it seems neither choice in this was great. I would have liked to stay within the family though.

kidmindi

I am happy with my adoption. I know that, in my case, adoption was the best thing for me. I have had a normal life, full of ups and downs, good times and bad.

The thing I would change about my adoption would be the secrecy. My parents hid my adoption from me and I found out by accident when I was 9.

I did feel an emptyness and wanted my birth mother when I was a teen. I found her when I was 18 and that went away.

Now I am pretty content with the way things happened.

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

no. i'm PISSED that i was adopted. it was completely unnecessary.

i adore my afamily. i HATE adoption.

Hey girl heyyyy

I had a very happy life & I wouldn't change it in any way!

Siver C

Yes I am happy I was adopted.
You bet I am.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: