Me and my husband have been raising his son, (my step-son) which I claim as my own since he was 1 1/2 yrs. old?

When we got him he was in foster care and that is how we found out that my husband was the father. Through a court ordered paternity test, not because the biological mother volunteered that information.He has lived with us ever since, and I have been the one to do most of the raising. And ALL of the financial support for the last several years, and have tax returns to prove it. I have several creditable character witnesses to prove that I have been the one providing the physical and emotional support for this child, from Dr.s, Teachers and my employers. Now, at this point and time my husband and the bio-mother share joint custody with my husband being the custodial parent. She is right now in jail on a 2nd parole violation, and my husband is being charged with a Class D-Felony and is looking at 1-5 yrs. his self. My question is, what can I do to ensure that the child gets to stay with me? I want to have papers drawled up stating that we all share custody but I am the primary caregiver and custodial parent. Is this possible? If not what else can I do? P.S. Child is now 8 and his wishes are to stay with me as well.
Additional Details
I am pretty positive that the bio-mother won't agree,just to spite me. She will probably insist that he stay with her mother. Which hasn't helped in the raising process of him. That is what I am worried about, them wanting him to go stay with her. But there are no grandparent laws in my state, and I do understand that she is a legal relative,and I think that might hurt the situation some. But my son has made it clear that he doesn't want to live with her, he wants to stay with me and I have been the one providing for him all these years.

lgg19632001

get a lawyer, no one wants another child threw in the system, and if you can adopt, you'll have full custody, good luck

Lady Indica

Get an attorney and apply for guardianship.

kristysearching

Get the father to grant you guardianship, that isn't permanent and shouldn't be a long court battle to get.

jessica d

Wow.. Get a lawyer!!!

sam22254

Good luck on keeping the child. With the father looking at jail for 1 to 5 years he must have not been in that good of a home. I'm telling you this because that is what the lawyers for the grandparents can say and the judge will look at this hard and strong. I would talk to them and ask if he can stay with you this way when the mother gets out you have a leg to stand on. If not they want him then try to get along so you can still have contact with him. You get more bees with sugar than vinegar. See what I mean. Good luck I hope things work out for you and your child.

rachael

well. to be honest i dont know if that can happen. i have a similar situation with my step children. their mother gave them up when the twins were 2 and my step son was 4 . they will be 11 and 13 this year. she voluntarily gave them up. my husband has full physical and joint legal with her.

if anything were to happen, i would probably lose them. from what i have seen over the last few years, they dont really care if you have been the parent for most of the childs life, that you are the financial provider and hold the insurance on them. when we questioned this--we were told they would go to other family members or foster care. thats what friend of court told us

i dont understand it, it pisses me off and to be honest-im not sure its the truth. i have not have talked to a lawyer yet, i havent had a reason to. but i have a feeling that i will lose if it ever happens.

by the way...GOOD LUCK!!! i have my fingers crossed for you and i hope i am completely wrong on this. i really do.

one smart lady

Would the bio-mother be willing to sign custody over to you? She obviously isn't ready to put her son first or she wouldn't be living a lifestyle that keeps her behind bars. That being said, I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't cooperate, as her choices have shown that the child's best interest isn't her primary concern, so that may be a problem. I assume your home is approved as a suitable home since he was originally placed with you in the first place. Consult a family attorney. Are there any other family members who want the child? If not, you have good chance of keeping him.

Atypical

Since your husband is the custodial caregiver he can allow you to legally adopt the child and which will give you the legal right to keep the child even if something were to happen to him.

Mrs.wifey

appeal to the judge. write a letter and try to get HER and your husband to sign it saying they want you to take the boy. is anyone contesting you. I would think your going to be ok unless someone is contesting you will a hell of a lawyer. good job for stepping up. it shows a lot about you

Semper Fi

Have the father give you power of atterney or maybe start the process to adopt him as your son

FlamingSheep

From a logical standpoint, prove that the child 1: WANTS to stay with you and 2: The mother is incapable of providing a safe environment for him to stay in. I'm unaware of all the custody laws but I have enough firsthand experience with the subject to fairly say that the points I stated above should be enough to have the child stay with you.

Get the child to put it down in writing, and get him to be interviewed with the judge if you're having a court battle over custody.

Gloria A

You have to get a lawyer and take all the proof that you are the one who is providing everything. Try to adopt him and have legal custody. The lawyer can advice you better. I herd a case like that, she went to live with her boyfriend and raised his little boy and he abandoned her and took the boy away from her. She wants to adopt the little boy but the father has custody of the child although he is an alcoholic. Just try to take action asap. God bless you and help you with this problem.

abcdefedcba

a picture is a thousand words, it might help if you present happy pictures of the childs happiness with you, just my opinion

Paul H

My heart sings out for you and this child, you are obviously the only parent the child's knows and respects , so please , get in touch with a solicitor, or some sort of care agency to make sure the child stays with you. I would then make moves to adopt the child legally, ASAP

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: