Moms who felt coerced into choosing adoption for their children?

Before exploring this forum, I believed that actual "coersion" happened in the past in the US and might still be happening in other countries. I can also see that if a girl is a teenager and doesn't have her parents' support, then her parents are essentially forcing her into this choice.

Are there other instances still going on in the U.S. today? Who is doing the coersion? The state? Bad "lawyers?" Crisis pregnancy centers? Is this happening legally or in spite of the law (I would certainly think it is illegal.)

What do you think should be done about it?

Absolutely not trying to start an argument, but sincerely want to know.
Additional Details
Pip - your story is exactly what I imagine when I hear the word "coerced" and I think that is wrong. I'm not surprised to hear that these things happened in the past - parents who lied and told their daughter the baby died, or let the girl sign papers while under anesthesia, or forged her name. Not surprised these things still go on in developing countries where I can also believe money trades hands. All of this needs to stop.

But if a young mother makes a choice and then changes her mind, it isn't automatically coercion. Coercion means force or the threat of force. If someone didn't explain her rights or promised that agreements about "openness" aren't really legally enforceable, that is wrong.

But is it coercion if a social worker only gives advice? The mom could ignore it.

Seems more effective to require social workers to educate young moms on the services available if they do keep the baby than to claim that young moms are always coerced and vilify adoptive parents.

Pip

"Moms who felt coerced into choosing adoption for their children?" - I don't feel like I was coerced into surrendering I know for a fact I was.

I wasn't told my rights.

I didn't see the adoption paperwork until over 23 years later and post reunion. Apart from fact about myself (what I looked like, my job, son's father's name) the rest was a little fantasy concocted by my mother.

It is questionable I signed the Consent to Surrender as very conveniently nobody can find it. It wasn't uncommon for someone else to sign it if the mother was being coerced even the mother has to sign it regardless of her age.

My parents threatened to kick me out, make sure I didn't get alternative accomodation, make sure I lost my job, didn't get another one, make sure I didn't get benefits, would lose my son anyway because I was penniless and homeless.

If that isn't coercion then please explain to me what is and btw a lawyer who knows British law has told me that what happened to me is legally known as a forced adoption and is illegal.

Coercion still happens even in the US.

Allanas

It still happens, but it's more subtle. Girls aren't sent away anymore, and they aren't verbally abused and called names, but they hear things like...

If you loved your baby you'd...
Don't be selfish...
What could you possibly give a baby...
There are older, more well off parents that would love your baby...

So, they feel that they are doing the wrong thing by keeping the child.

Throw in raging hormones, the natural terror that all new mothers feel, and it's a whole big, hot mess that leads girls to make decisions they regret.

Andraya - Snark's Sister

Yes it still happens today and everyone is doing it. Agencies, social workers, child welfare, lawyers, prospective adoptive parents, the expectant mother's family, the expectant father's family, school counselors. crisis pregnancy centres, hospital social workers, doctors, nurses, religious officials. The list goes on and on. Basically anyone with any authority over an expectant mother can, and often will, try to coerce her into surrendering her child.

Is it legal? No. Does anyone care that it happens? Not really. Many mothers and fathers have gone to court because they were coerced into signing away their parental rights but very few are given limited access let alone their children. Many governments have made the revocation period so short that it is almost impossible for anyone to revoke their surrender so you can easily see who they work for and it ain't us natural parents.

kitta

It should be illegal. It certainly is unconstitutional. But so are lots of practices that the government has allowed and even promoted.

In the USA, the government even passed the federal Infant Adoption Awareness Act, which allows adoption agencies to go into the public schools and promote adoption to teenagers. The federal gov't even gives out grant money to "train " "infant adoption workers."

LinnyG

It happened to my first Mom, and it happens to this day. Who is doing the coercing? Adoption agencies, lawyers, "crisis pregnancy centers", (most are funded by adoption agencies) and paps. (prospective adoptive parents)

If a woman who is pregnant or who has relinquished can say that any of these things on the following link were said to her or happened to her, she was coerced.

http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/adoption_coercion.html

What do I think should be done about it? Take ALL the profit out of adoption. Do not allow a woman to relinquish her child until she has parented the child, herself, for 6 weeks. Do not allow a child to be adopted without a paternity test, to ensure the child's and the father's rights are not being violated. Make "pre-birth" matching illegal. Only allow adoptions to occur if there is no one in the child's natural family to raise him or her. Strip any agencies or lawyers license if they engage in coercion...and they ALL do.

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