My Mother Did not Name My Father?

Tobit

Heather,

I think the answer is innocuous. Joslin is thinking of much more recent times.

Back in 1970, fathers did not have to be named. The birth was "illegitamate," and the father did not claim you as his own. Thus, he will not show up on your birth certificate and the agency had no reason to put his name down.

-Tobit

Kacie

In some states un-wed mothers are not allowed to put a father's name on the birth certificate. Some women might just say any man was the father, so I think this is a legal thing.

Isabel A

Mine isn't listed either though the agency was fully aware of who he was and we're pretty sure they contacted him for family history as there is information in my file that my firstmom did not supply.

Father's names are not placed on the birth certificate as a round about way of circumventing their rights. No father on the birth certificate, nobody needed to sign any papers. Just some "Unknown" (that's what it said on my original birth certificate) not worth contacting.

The weird thing is that my aparents were told that my first parents were very much in love and still together at my birth. All of it was true. My firstparents were in a steady relationship before and throughout her pregnancy.
The really sad thing in my case is that my father actually proposed to my firstmom and she accepted. She went away and he thought she was coming back with me and they were getting married. She had told him she would call him when she went into labor. I came two weeks early and her caseworker talked her out of calling him. What a shock for him when she returned to their home town without me and learned I'd been placed for adoption. I think that's when he contacted the agency without her knowledge. My aparents had been told that my biodad had "second thoughts" my firstmom was unaware of any of this.

Anyhoo, my biodad can't answer any of my questions because he died several years ago and nobody in his family is talking. I was sad to learn he wasn't listed on my original birth certificate. It hurts a little and makes me feel bad for him. From the info I have been able to gather, he was just a naive young man who was duped by everybody. I guess he really wanted to meet me someday, and he never got to. That's sad for both of us.

sunny

H,

My father is not on my OBC either. When I told her this, she was surprised.

I have seen my file however, and not only is his name all over it, but so are his parents, siblings, etc.

I was born in the early 60s in MI.

Torrejon

maybe he would not have wanted to go along with the adoption...naming him would have given him rights

Beth K

Maybe she was underage at the time and didn't want to get him in trouble?

Maybe her parents/family/friends were against him being with her.

Maybe she didn't want him to find out that she was giving away his kid.

ka3udr

Maybe he was married and your mother did not want to hurt him. I have seen this happen before.

zaxton6

my mom did not name my father eather, my grand mother was the one who named my father.

Juniper K

Well back in the 70s it was considered a burden to be a single unwed mother. Maybe she hated your father and just didn't put his name on. Or maybe he promised her something and he wasn't there. There are lots of reasons. Unfortuntly for the children of these situations it's the mother's choice whether to have the birth father listed or not. There is no law in the USA that says that the father HAS to be put on the birth certificate.

A. She didn't want to have him knowing about you and in that case probably didn't want him in your life.

B. She was scared for her own life if he knew.

C. He refused that he was the father, and not until the early 80's was it possible to force a paternity test with lawyers and what not.

Natasha

He may have been married or it may simply be that he wronged her, and she decided not to put his name down through principle.

Beau C

Maybe he did something very wrong by her.

If your mother is around ask her.

need_2shop

what comes to mind for me is 1 of 2 things she either wasn't sure who the father is or she knows but he was a bad guy and didn't want him in your life.

smartyness

maybe he was married?
maybe she didnt tell him about you?
maybe he decided then that he didnt want to be found down the road and they decided the best way was to not name him?

I hope you find out, good luck!

Still Me

Generally, it is because she:

Doesn't know his name. (Brief encounter/one night stand.)
Wants to "protect" someone.
He was married.
She was reluctant/afraid to involve him.
Rape.
She was embarrassed.
She felt like he might contest the adoption, so she did not name him.

Hope this helps. It was likely for what she thought was a good reason. I'm sorry that it leaves such a question for you, though.

obsessed_with_amy_lee

she is probobly ashamed of him

if your (birth) mother is still alive, ask her about it

and good luck finding your father!

Geminat

maybe she didn't know who the father was...or maybe she hated him?

KimGonzo

My birthmother also did not name my birthfather on my birth certificate. It's hard to guess why a woman wouldn't name the birthfather. He might have denied he's the birthfather, she might not be certain who the birthfather is (that was my birthmother's case), if he's a married man he might have told her not to put his name on the certificate, if she was raped she might not know the identity of the man, she might not have put his name on because it would cause her or him problems. There are too many reasons to consider, these are just some off the top of my head. It might simply be because the birthfather "dumped" her when he found out she was pregnant so she decided to deny him the right to be identified as your birthfather.

optimist

There may be more than one possibility. Can you contact her, if not directly, thru the agency, for more info? Perhaps she felt he would not be a good person for you to have in your life if you were to search for him (drugs, alchohol, crime, mental issues, or just plain nastiness). She may have held a lot of anger toward him, perhaps didn't feel he deserved the right to be on the certificate. Perhaps he didn't want anything to do with the entire situation, he may have been young and frightened. People make all kinds of decisions when they are young, and hopefully you will be able to forgive them if you are angry at them for anything they did wrong in the handling of this situation. But forgiving them is for your own peace of mind - it will help you go on with your life more easily.

James B

Maybe he was the milkman? J/K I don't know why she wouldn't his name, maybe she just didn't want him to have much to do with you.

Lori A

I lied about the fathers name on my daughters birth certificate. They were pushing hard for names. One for him and one for her. I refused to name her so she could have only one name, (assuming it would be changed) and I lied about his so that MY family could not find him or her. I was protecting both of them. I did not want my family involved in either of their lives. I realize now how dangerous that was in case I passed away. She would have been left with no clue as to how to find him. She would have been looking for a guy who's name came right off a cigarette pack. He is a wonderful man, there's more to the story, but that could be why.

Sonya

She probably didn't name the father because he was unwilling to take part in your raising/support. This may not be want you want to hear, but it is likely your mom gave you up for adoption because she was unable to raise you on her own and the man who fathered you was unwilling to help nor were family members. That is a common scenerio.

If the father was unwilling to have part in your upbringing, she may have thought he didn't need to be named because it wouldn't accomplish anything.

My friend when I was younger gave her child up for adoption. She did not name the father on the certificate though she knew who he was. When he found out she was pregnant, he told her that if she didn't get an abortion, he wanted nothing to do with her. When he found out she was going to carry the baby to term, he moved out of state and she never heard from him again.

Randy F

I'm not trying to be smart aleck about it but: Maybe he was NOT your father and she wasn't for sure who it was.
If you ever do find the man your talking about, the only way is to have a DNA test.

*Angelina Price*

hmmmm maybe there was a reason why she didnt want u to find him?

Chris T

LMAO...."so she must've known who he was".
What did he do ?....drug her ?

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