My brother and his g/friend are willing to give us a baby?

Possum

You seriously need to think about how this child will feel down the track.
As right now - it certainly appears that you don't really give a toss about the child - you care only about yourself.
Making a baby - to just be given away - is not right.
It's a whole heap of head mess for the child.
Babies grow inside their mother - and want to be with their mother - for the rest of his/her childhood - if at all possible.
That's just how babies are hard-wired.
I'm really sorry that you aren't able to have a child of your own - but going about getting a child - in this manner - is all about you and your needs and desires - not about what the child needs and wants.
Adoption should be about finding a family for a child that doesn't already have one.
Not about making a designer baby for you.
I've lived separated from my mother for 39 years - and it was a huge head mess growing up - and a whole heap of heart ache.
If you do go ahead with this - I do hope that you'll allow the child to know their full truth - and perhaps get them into therapy early.
No child wants to be given away by their parents.
No reason will make everything all OK.
No child will fully understand why they were made to fulfill another's dream.
This baby will one day be a fully functioning and thinking adult - and will not be happy for being produced - simply to be for your needs.

sarah314

I think that situation sounds like it has the potential to do a lot of emotional damage to all of the children involved, and I'd highly encourage you to reconsider.

Have you given any thought to how it might affect the children emotionally to know that mommy and daddy decided to keep this one, give this one to "aunt and uncle," give these ones to grandma and grandpa, etc? And eventually all of the kids *would* figure it out...even if you tried to hide it from them.

Anyone who has an ounce of common sense and an ounce compassion for the children involved would *run* from this idea as quickly as possible.

It would be different if she were agreeing to be a surrogate for you. Or if you were adopting a child from someone else. But this situation you're proposing is just a horrible, horrible idea on so many levels.

You're only thinking about your own needs - "I want a baby." Being a parent is about putting the well-being of the child first, and that includes thinking through how the situation will affect the child's emotional well-being. If you aren't prepared to do that, then you aren't prepared to be a parent yet.

Mama

Just have a baby and give it to you? or do you mean surrogacy?
Either way, a lawyer would be best.

leila96s

Its best talk to a lawyer about the ins and outs.

Independ"ant"

I would suggest therapy. Your heart in in the right place but your head is most definitely not.

allchildrenareangels

you would need to get an adoption lawyer. They would have to sign the over their rights. Good luck

Love,
Michelle

MS A

Although the family ties may complicate emotions, the laws are the same as if you were adopting a stranger's child.

It would be best to use a lawyer. When we adopted our daughter it was straight forward.
1. Her first mother and bio. father signed papers relinquishing their rights.
2. There was a ten day waiting period in case they wanted to change their minds.
3. We got a court date about 2 months later.
4. We went into the judge's chambers and she asked us a series of questions. (Do you wish this child to be your heir, etc.)
5. The judge signed some papers and she was legally ours.
6. Two days later we had the forged birth certificate.

BTW, you can expect a lot of nastiness in the answers to the question.

Good Luck.

pug love

Your brother and his girlfriend? They are not married and they want to do this. Wow, how long have they been together? How old are they?

Your question is not that common so get use to the negative responses. What did you want people to say, That is such a good idea to have your brother and his GIRLFRIEND make a baby for you! It is weird a and complicated and get use to this kind of feed back when you type stupid questions on YAHOO! You seemed to get really mad at responses that were not even that negative or bad so that makes me think you are unsure about this also. If you were confident in it you would not care what people thought. She has had two kids that do not live with her already and now there is going to be another that lives with its aunt. That is going to be really hard for the child to understand. Do what you want but if your offended by people writing a few words down, get use to it because if you do this your life will only get more complicated and wait until the child has an opinion about this. They will be really confused.

mom of many

its not just a matter of signing a piece of paper. Perhaps just to give you permission to raise their child but not to adopt. I would get a lawyer as every state is different. Most states require adoption homestudies and lots of background checks and interviews and sometimes classes. You need to be approved by the state to adopt.

*Ignorance is your worst enemy*

Seek a attorney and do this the right way. Don't want to leave any loop holes where she may be able to take the baby back if your brother and her break up. try talking to the cradle they may be able to aid you for a small fee. I'm not sure if the biological parents have 3 months to change their minds and settle the adoption. You need to sit down and decide if you are going to raise this child knowing he has two set of parents? or how you will raise this child together. Best of luck! Now is she promising you the baby she is carrying now or after this baby?

Marsha

You are going to need a homestudy and an attorney. You may be able to be granted temporary custody/gardianship while you get these things in order -- as this will take several months. I'd start with an attorney and ask them for a recommendation for a social worker or agency that does inexpensive/quick homestudies.

You can find adoption attorneys here:
http://www.adoptionattorneys.com/

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