My cousin wants me to adopt her unborn child...what procedures do i need to follow?

Still Me

First of all, please look at your level of committment and enthusiasm compared to most hopeful adoptive parents on this website who are longing to adopt. You say "I wouldn't mind taking on that responsibility", when most adoptive parents are dying to be parents through adoption!

So, would this child be cherished and adored most by you, or another adoptive family? You must really be honest so this child has the most adoring, enthusiastic, excited, thrilled parents on the earth! This child deserves that!

You would have to go through the following to adopt:

1. Get a homestudy just like any adoptive parent. You must pass all the qualifications in your state. I have listed all the homestudy requirements in a post earlier than this one, and in many other posts here. $500-$900

2. Hire an attorney, so the birthfather can sign a voluntary relinquishment or waiver. If not, the attorney will seek to terminate the father's rights (VERY important, as he can come back ANY time and seek custody of the child if his rights are not protected, and they always find out!) $1000-$2000

3. Have the birthmother's rights voluntarily terminated in court. $1000-$2000

4. Finalize the adoption in court. $1000-$2000

Again, if you are not truly the BEST available adoptive parent for this child, suggest that your cousin contact a licensed adoption agency where she can select from many approved, stable and ecstatic adoptive parents who will have an open adoption with her, and she can get financial assistance and help with her expenses as well. And most importantly, she can recieve pre and post placement counsleing.

Good luck with your soul searching!

doug0102

NEVER, EVER adopt a baby without an attorney doing all the paperwork for you.
It's a huge thing to adopt a baby, right? Then do it right. Do not listen to "experts" here. Call an attorney, specializing in family law and go for a consultation.

Robert

Grace is correct - this requires an attorney.

Grace

Get an attorney.

martyr mom

One should go to the attorney for detailed adoption process, and also consider having an agreement similar to pre-nuptial so that in the future when it comes to financial issues there would be less troubles

hot tea

get an attorney so you can formally adopt the baby and suggest to your cousin to get her tubes tied or use some form of birth control

NaNa

I have adopted and have helped a friend adopt a baby. As everyone says first get a lawyer. I know in our state you have to be licensed as a foster parent first. there are a lot of emotions that are going to be flying here. I didn't even know the lady I helped to give her child up for adoption and it was complicated. The woman had an affair and had children of her own old enough to know what was going on. This lady was in such denial she had not had any doctors care and she was 7 months pregnant. I got her to the doctor and the only way we communicated was on the phone. Anyway when she had the baby the baby was born in a Catholic hospital and they left that baby on the same floor so she could se her all she wanted too. Then the family saw her and the next thing you know it was time to leave the hospital and her husband didn't want to leave the baby. Now remember first of all she has 72 hours to make her mind up what she wants to do, and can change it over and over again. Then they couldn't decide so they left the baby at the hospital, fortunately she decided to give her up but she didn't have too. And your also not free and clear always! I know from my own experience with adoption that the biological mother can come back and try to get her child back and say she was under deress or cohurst into sign the papers and wasn't thinking right. I then has to go into court and you hope all of the papers are in line by the lawyer or agency, you could lose the baby. Thank the Lord we didn't but our hearts were torn apart this was after we had our first child for 4 months and we had her from the time she was 3 days old. The bio mom also lied about everything in her background, nothing she said was even true about our childs biological family nor were we told this woman was on heroine and was on musculin all thru this pregnancy, we had NO idea until the agency told us the real truth. Our lawyer got every paper imaginable from the hospital. This isn't always the case that things like this happen, but you need to have a good ADOPTION LAWYER who knows the ins and outs of all the laws. We adopted 2 more babies and had not one problem, other then having a new lawyer who came into a firm and had never done a adoption and had it dropped in his lap and when we went to court the judge yelled at him in front of us and told him to learn how to fill out adoption papers right because ours weren't and he could not sign them due to the fact that we needed correct protection with appropriate paperwork so we couldn't adopt our son that day and had to go back, again I cried! But it was for the betterment of our family and son!

StacieG

contact an adoption attorney. You'll want to make sure everything is done absolutely correctly so nothing will bite you, this baby or the birth mother in the bum later.

Asher

its a tricky time consuming process, id recommend getting an attorney or other legal help. also, i think its great that your adopting a kid, but just a thought, for the childs sake, you have to something really really special for him or her, imagine every time you go to see you "aunt" see is really your mom with her own six kids and she sent you away to live with her brother before you were even born. im not saying don't do it, but i almost feel like he should be spoiled just so he feels like it was done for his better from a young age, otherwise for a long time it will be very hard for him understand why she did it to him, and not her other kid. his "cousins" r really his bro and sis, just a thought, it could be hard in a childs life... maybe spoiled was the wrong word, but make sure he never feels like has less or is less that his real intermediate family. i know you probably have thought about this, but it need to be taken serious. i might even see phycaytrist in advance to ask for advice.

rhjh0512@sbcglobal.net

be careful! alot of mothers can't part w/ the baby. so be prepared but the other answers are right also.

angelfish

you can contact your local department of social services or dfacs...whatever the local agency is called that can handle familial adoptions. They will walk you through the process.

Clueless

Get an attorney and make sure your cousin is serious and won't interfere in your raising the child.

Jimmy

i would not recommend you getting your local dfacts office in this one some times they may be of help but i think you should start things off by talking to a lawyer dfacts and places like that are meant for people who can not afford an lawyer and if you can not afford one then you should really think twice about this whole thing ...but i do understand the fact that you want a child so good luck and hang in there ok

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Have you and her set up some kind of court thing, or talk to someone who knows what to do. I dont know all the steps to adoption, but all i know is that there is paper work involved, and it depends on the situation if it has to include money. Some adoptions dont include money at all, i know that money only includes in adoption when you are adopting outside your own country.

babyontheway

@Bsupermom I am in the same situation as you my cousin is adamant abt me having her baby while you were waiting on her decision while the baby was in your care were you able to take the baby to the doctor an do other things she needed also how did you start the process of adoption after you already had her in your custody or did you get temp custody from birth!!! also how much is your adoption costing you and waht steps did you take you can email me or just repost here platinumcap05@yahoo.com

Bsupermom

I am adopting my cousin's son too. He is 16 months old but we have had him since he was born. I even held him first in the hospitol. We were giving his mother time to make sure this is really what she wants to do and it is. We are not sure what to do yet so I have contacted a lawyer and am waiting on his reply.

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