My daughter was adopted at age 3, now 24,lives with me & her adoptive parents wont give her her paper work, ca

PhilM

Some of these answers are incredibly rude. Ignore the rude ones. They would rather judge than find out the story.

Unfortunately, I think she can't use those original papers. If the adoption was legal, her identity was altered by the state. Her adoptive parents have no right to keep HER documents. They don't own her. She's an adult now. If they won't give her her paper work, she should be able to apply for replacement copies from the appropriate agencies.

grapesgum

Doesn't she know her SS#? She can apply for a replacement card. As an adult, she can also request a copy of her birth certificate. If she wants to go back to her birth name, then she needs to consult a lawyer.

BTW - it is not unusual for adopted children to want to return to their families of origin as adults. Some feel that they never fit in with their adoptive families. It's not all that common but it happens more often than you think.

Andraya

The person listed on her OBC doesn't exist anymore so using it would be a gamble, if her SS number wasn't changed she can certainly still use it (the number not the card, I would think). I think your best bet is to get her all new cards, she is an adult and has that right. If getting the new cards is tricky because she has no ID at all then she will need to play hardball with her APs and demand her identifying information from them. Wow, not often an adoptee has to demand that from their APs, SICK!

HUGE congrats on your reunion btw! I lived with my Mom for a few years after we were reunited and I think it is awesome when other reunions go as well.

ps. you can always adopt her back and she will be issued a new ABC with the OBC info on it.

Lillie

Social security cards can be replaced by filling out a form and sending it in or taking it to the nearest SS office. She can go to the vital records office in the state where the adoption took place (or probably apply online) to get a replacement of her amended birth certificate. She doesn't need her aparents permission to get any of these; if they want to be babies and not give her these things (which are rightfully hers) then she can go herself to get them replaced. If she has a drivers license or state issued ID card, that's about all she should need (might want to get her birt cert first before she tries to get the SS card, though, she might need that for proof of ID for the SSN card).

The birth cert she can probably get right away; the SSN card will probably be mailed, and will take 6-8 weeks, depending on how backed up they are.

I'm sorry her adoptive parents are acting like this, How childish. Congratulations on your reunion, too bad the people who raised her and who should be supportive of her, can't see fit to do so and are only vested in themselves.

I'm glad not all adoptive parents are so self absorbed (like a lot of super cool adoptive parents right here on YA) I hope that in time, they will see that she is capable of loving ALL her parents and won't try to make her "choose sides". Blech.

Possum

Adopt her back - YES!!
I LOVE this idea.
Then she'll get re-issued with a new birth cert again.

ladybmw1218

Legally those are no longer her official paperwork. She can order a copy of her BC from the state it was issued in, and she will need to apply for a replacement SS card.

sunny

Her aparents sound just lovely. Not. those papers are her PROPERTY. Call your local Sherriff's Dept. for advice, maybe they could escort your daughter to their home for her papers.

I'm glad you have your daughter back.

TotalRecipeHound

Her original birth certificate will no longer be valid. She can contact the state to be issued a current birth certificate and contact social security to get a replacement card. Her a-parents are not obligated to give her the adoption papers - morally yes, but legally, no.

Sarah e

This sounds weird. So you are her real mom? And why don't her parents want to give her the papers? Does she not get along with them. This sounds strange. She is 24 and does not have her own paper work. My mom gave me my stuff when I was 22.

Lori A

This scares me. There are people here that think a 24 year old woman is still a posession. That she had NO RIGHT to freedom of association when she becomes of legal age. That the people who wiped her butt as a child still have the right to dictate who she can and can not associate with. Would this be an issue if she were raised by her first parents? NO!!!!! upon turning legal age they would have to let go of their child and let them live their lives. Amazing what paying for a child can provoke.

Reapply it's a hassle but can be done.

mommy_2_liam

Surely there is a reason they won't give paperwork...go to the courts in the city she was sdopted in, and get copies made.

byndie1956

I am sorry that you are having to go through this but adopted parents can be cruel. I adopted my son to my parents with them saying that he would still call me momma and them grandpaw and grandmaw and as soon as the papers were signed they turned into people i did not know. they treated me like i was a person that would steal him so i had to be supervised when I went over there to see him. then they being my sisters filled his head with I left him on the couch for three days. now with eight people living in the house how would a child be left on the couch for three days. So I know how they can be mean and jealous and not want to share the child or the adult when they get older. My son is messed up because of them! good Luck and love both your mom that gave you birth and the mom that raised you. Show love to your adopted mom and dad and maybe they won't feel so abandoned. Good Luck and know both love you!

Ginger

She can go to the social security office with her birth certificate and get a new social security card, but the original one you have should be fine. A name change isn't a problem, but getting a new number is even with id theft.

You can get a birth certificate by going to the courthouse where you were born or web site like VitalChek.com

What paperwork? The adoption papers?

No she can't use what you have they are no longer valid
She can get copies even if they won't give it to her. It would be like she lost it she can go and request a new birth certificate i have three birth certificates and i am not adopted. My parents kept loosing mine in the house and got a new on. she can go to SSI office and request a new card mailed to her she will need to show

Angela B

You can requested a new ss card easily and comes rather quickly. NOwadays you can order your birth cert via the internet and comes in the mail quickly so she wouldn't have to have this.

Randy B

I won't comment on any of the drama, either in the question or in the other answers, but the simple fact of the matter is all she needs to do is apply for replacements for those documents as if she lost them or had her purse stolen.

It happens all the time where people have a house fire or lose their wallet/purse and need things replaced. Just do that and be done with it.

BRING IT ******!!

So now that the work of raising the kid is done, you want to be the "mom" and her adoptive parents aren't of any use now?

People like you will scare people out of adoption

spcmegreg

Why, you gave her up and she was taken care of by another familly. The parents of a child aren't those that concieved but the ones who raised and took care of the child. Unless your daughter was abused by them growing up then she should be changing back.

Deedee

i have to agree, i understand that she is your kid but they obviously raised her and if you are being demanding about her stuff they wont and shouldnt give it to u. be nice about it and encourage your daughter to be nicer to them maybe you will get better results.

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