My fiance wants to adopt my daughter, Her father has not signed any paper yet to allow this but we are?

sweetbee

OK WE ARE HERE TO ANSWER A QUESTION NOT TO JUDGE RIGHT?

YOU NEED A LAWYER, BECAUSE IF AGREE TO SIGN THE PAPER THAT SAY HE GIVES UP HIS RIGHTS AS A FATHER A LAWYER HAS TO PRESENT, AFTER THAT, IT IS MATTER OF TIME, OFFICE IN CHARGE OF ADOPTION WILL RUN A BACKGROUND ON YOU AND THE MAN WHO WANTS TO ADOPT, THEY NEED TO SEE HE IS FINE FINANCIAL, AND CHECK IF HE HAS NOT RECORDS WITH CHILD MOLESTATION, THEY WILL DO IT TO BOTH OF YOU EVEN IF YOU ARE THE BIOLOGICAL MOTHER, IT TAKES AROUND 10 MONTHS, JUST IF THE BIOLOGICAL FATHER GIVES UP PEACEFULLY, IF NOT , THERE IS NOT WAY YOU CAN TAKE AWAY THAT RIGHT AT LESS HE IS NOT INVOLVE IN CASE OF CHILD MOLESTATION OR THAT KIND OF TYPE.

I KNOW THIS BECAUSE THE BIOLOGICAL FATHER OF MY SON 4 YEARS OLD BACK THEN NEVER WAS IN THE PICTURE, I MET A GOOD MAN I MARRIED HE CREATED A STRONG LINK WITH MY SON AND WE DECIDED TO THIS AND TRUST ME I HAVE NEVER REGRET ABOUT IT, JUST MAKE SURE HE IS THE RIGHT PERSON TO YOUR CHILD, GOOD LUCK, AND NOT PAY ATTENTION TO PEOPLE THAT DOESNT UNDERSTAND YOUR POSITION, AND I AM NOT WRITING THIS TO GET 10 POINTS, I AM WRITING BECAUSE I PASSED THROUGH THIS, AND NOW MY SON IS 8 , AND HAPPY AND HEALTHY LITTLE BOY, AND WE TALKED WITH THE TRUTH TO HIM, I DONT RECOMEND YOU TO TELL YOUR KID THE FATHER IS A LOOSER EVEN IF HE IS, JUST TELL HIM SOMETIMES WE DO THINGS AND THINGS DONT WORK OUT LIKE WE BELIEVED.

AND YES YOU NEED TO BE MARRIED TO DO IT, BECAUSE LIVING WITH A MAN DOESNT PROVIDE STABILITY FOR THE KID, YOU HAVE TO PROVE THIS GUY IS GOING TO BE RESPONSABLE, AND FOR THE STATE MARRIAGE IS ONE OF THE PROOF OF IT, I KNOW THERE ARE MANY LOOSERS HUSBANDS AND WIVES OUT THERE, BUT LAW IT IS THE LAW, AND WE HAVE TO FOLLOW IT.
GOOD LUCK.

Lori A

What hasn't been addressed is that your boy friend is already considered by your daughter to be her father. There is no changing that unless she for some reason loses respect for him. Your daughter's amended birth certificate may cause her problems later in life. Check into homeland security after 911 and see what some have had to go through with amended birth certificates. If her father does not want to terminate his rights you will have to convince a court to terminate them. What seems like a good idea now may come back to bite your daughter later on. Why is a piece of paper so important?

ETA: I just don't want to see what seems to be a good idea now cause your daughter problems later on in life. I'm sure you have an original birth certificate for your daughter but if something happens to it you will never get another one. Ammended is what you will get. In some states now you can't even vote without an original copy of your birth certificate. Passports are a problem without an original birth certificate too. All I'm saying is that you may want to check into this before actually going throug with it. It may not be worth the piece of paper.

Mom to Foster Children

Loser or not - he still has to agree.

You need an attorney. He needs to sign over his rights as a parent - not an easy task - put the shoe on your foot and think a little -

What makes him a loser? Can't be all that bad - give the man a break - you didn't list what makes him a loser - just your opinion.

Who is trying to convince him what is right for his daughter - you and your boyfriend?

All in all you do need an attorney - and you will have to go to court to legally change her birth certificate and make your daughter legally bound to your new boyfriend. What you need to take into account is that if you guys split up - the new daddy is responsible for the child support...etc...not her biological daddy.

Ok, I will bite and Edit to your Edit! None of the reasons for him being a loser nor how long you were together was posted BEFORE I answered your very vauge question. My answers are still the same. And if you don't believe I do not know what a dead beat father is - take a look at my screen name. You also don't list WHY the state takes care of these children - again - in your own words.

So take it as you will - you asked a question and you got answers - even from us idiots!

mom of many

getting a lawyer is the only way you can do this. But most if not all states require you to be married to the person you want adopting your child. And usually you must have been married for a year or two first.Its called a step parent adoption. Its a very common process but it does take a lawyer and it has to go thru the courts.

hawkette

first of all yes you probally look at this guy as a loser and he might be but what are you teaching this daughter of yours. how old is she ? no matter what he is the father and adoption by another man is usually when the child does not have a father. what will she be reading into this it may hurt her in the wrong run. if a girl is taught to not respect her own father she some times has trouble respecting all men.please think about this before you do it.

anonymus

To find out more information on this contact family and children svc. they should be able to tell you the steps to take, and if he does sign over the rights then he would have to go to a lawyer and pay for it i believe. Good Luck!! and congratulations on getting married

dcrc93

i think he has to be agreeable first

David M

As the previous person said call the Childrens services agency in your state. They will be able to tell you the steps you need to take. You will need to hire a lawyer to handle some of this. Be aware of a couple of things though. First your daughters father will not need to hire a lawyer if he is willing to do this. This is something you are trying to do not him. If he agrees he just has to sign the paperwork prepared by your lawyer and the court. The other thing you need to be aware of is that if your daughters father gives up his parental rights and she is adopted by your fiance you are no longer entitled to any child support payments from him. Child support would now be you and your fiance's responsibility. If you were to divorce your fiance would be responsible for child support because he is now the legal father. This is a big step. Make sure you speak with a competent attorney. The laws vary by state and you don't want to make any mistakes.

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