My friend gave up her son for adoption...can she get him back?

myst1998

Before I answer this question, just a word to some of you harping on about the 'poor adoptive family'... WTF??? They are NOT his family yet! As far as this baby is concerned they are strangers and right now he needs his Mama... ie the one who gave birth to him. And those calling her names, that is revolting as YOU have not been in her shoes and do not know what she has gone through. How very judgmental.

Okay...on to the question: Your friend needs to get on to a lawyer ASAP and find one who is sympathetic to her case. She needs to document anything and everything that was said to her over the course of the pregnancy so she can prove she was not actually fit to sign the consent due to coercion/duress.

She needs to get herself into a position where she can prove she would be fit to raise her child and provide for him. I suggest doing ALOT of research to help her in this and try to find an advocacy group in the USA that knows how to go about these cases.

All the best to your friend... its an awful place to be in.

kidmindi

She needs to contact a lawyer ASAP. Each state is different. She needs to get on record as soon as she can stating that she wants him back.

sunny

She needs to call a family law atty. NOW!

Also contact http://www.origins-usa.org and contact the man, Joe, who runs this chatroom:

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/chat.html

Good luck!

Starla_C

Have her consult with an attorney. The laws of a state would mandate how long she has to "change her mind."

Best of luck!

monkeykitty83

The revocation rules vary from state to state. The rule in Missouri is that your friend has the right to revoke her termination of parental rights up until her consent is reviewed by a judge. You don't mention whether that has happened or not, but if two months have passed, I'm assuming it has. If a judge has already reviewed the case, unfortunately for your friend it's too late for her to appeal.

If a judge hasn't yet reviewed the TPR consent, she can take her baby back by filling out paperwork revoking the TPR. That's a simple process, and doesn't require her to give any reason other than changing her mind.

Check on whether the judge's review has happened-- but don't get your hopes up too much; after two months it's unlikely she can still revoke. It's probably gone through already unless they got majorly backed up with their paperwork... you just ought to cover all your bases by making sure.

The only exception to the time limit on revocation is if something fraudulent or illegal happened, in which case your friend can appeal at any time. You don't mention anything about that, and pressuring the mother is not against the law, even if it isn't a morally right thing to do. However, if there was an illegal component to the adoption that you just haven't mentioned, your friend needs to hire a lawyer and contest the adoption as soon as she possibly can.

truebluepatsgirl

Case law in Missouri states that unless your friend was a victim of fraud, duress or coercion her consent to the adoption is irrevocable.

Rowan

every state gives a certain amount of time in which a woman can change her mind. if that time has not run out yet, then yes, she can try and get him back.
if however, the adoption was finalized, then it's probably too late. she'll need to speack to a lawyer n this one.

mom of many

if she already had her parental rights terminated, then there was an appeal time. If all this time has passed, then no, its too late. It takes a judge to terminate rights in most states. But also, its hard to say without all the facts as to why she gave the baby up.

draggin78201

No she won't be able to get him back.
She can try, and it would be a long and expensive legal process but in the end the courts will want to know why she gave him up for adoption in the first place.
So, if she does try to get him back, she better be very well prepared to answer that question.

wizbangs

No, assuming the child has all ready been adopted by another couple. (If it was a baby, then the child has all ready been placed).

I can appreciate your friend's emotional issues in giving her child up under duress and wanting the child back. It happens to most biological parents. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about it now.

She needs to move on. The agency I used had a "non identifying information" file set up where I could tell the child all about me and let them know they could find me (if they wanted to). You update your file at the agency and when the child is old enough, they are allowed to access that information. It helped me get through it.

criertuck

it depends if the adpotion is finalized yet. sometimes that can take a while.

Diego is Smiling!!

if she legally signed away her paternal rights then no

and why would she want to do that to the family that is soo happy with the baby? its not fair for her to change her mind after she has given him away

Esther

I'm not certain, but more than likely not. I know we cannot have more children and we want to adopt. Honestly though we are afraid to adopt from in the U.S. because we are afraid we would get attached to a child only to be the <.1% who get the kid taken away because the birth parents change their mind. Making the decision to give a child up can't be easy, but she needs to consider her son.

*Dreamer TTC#2*

I hardly doubt that she can get him back now. I don't think you can do that. She will have to make a call.

I know it must be hard for her, but can you also imagine the pain of the people that adopted this baby and are know the parents of it? They would be devastated as well, this is a no win situation. She needs to think about that too.

Mel

she would need to speak with the adoption agency

Dan D

wel if he hsnt been adoped tn no probems

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