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My husband wants to adopt my children . . .?
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My husband wants to adopt my children . . .?

I had 2 children already when I got married to my husband. They both have different fathers. The oldest I had while still in high school and the other I was engaged to her father but he became abusive toward me and my older daughter so I left him. My husband wants to adopt both my children, and being since I am pregnant we would like to do it fairly quickly.

Now to my questions. The oldest's father has never been a big part of her life. He started paying child support when she was 4 and only because the state made me go after him in order to get daycare assistance. It has always been garnished, he has never supported her willingly. He accepts that he is her father. He started having visitation regularly and kept that up for about 2 months. Since then nothing. It has been 2 1/2 years since we have heard anything from him. Does he have a chance to fight the adoption?

As for my other child, her father and his family are very much a part of her life. She sees them regularly and loves them dearly. I only want her adopted also so that she can have the same last name as the rest of the family(her and her sister both have my maiden name currently). I don't want to take them out of her life. We want it to be like an open adoption to where my husband has full parental rights but they can still see her under our discretion(as it is now since no custody has ever been established). If you were a father would you go for something like this?

Just curious as to the rights my husband and I have and getting some input on other opinions of our plan. Thanks for the help!!!


    




Zeena
Wow..ok...for the first question.Ask the father if he is willing to give up his rights to the child (the only way your husband can adopt) it's been 2 1/2 years so he might be more willing than baby daddy number 2.

As for baby daddy number 2.Not to be rude, but I think it is messed up.She already has a father and a family.You cannot just ignore that for the sake of your husband and your daughter having his last name (she will not be traumatized for having another last name) if her dad is in her life as well as the other family I wouldn't even think about jeopardizing that relationship by attempting this otherwise you might have a legal battle on your hands.Count your blessings that her father is in her life.
Even if custody has never been established he can fight back and your situation might end up in a pickle.

There are forms your husband can sign (doctors/schools) that will help if there is ever an emergency.

So IMO: yes on number one..try..no on number two..it might backfire.


Good luck.


Pyar
If I was father number one I would jump at it ... When your husband adopts the child support ends ... If I was father number 2 who has a place in the child's life ... Honestly , there is no way in hell ,you would get me to agree to let my child being adopted by another man.


America is screwed
Rating
In order for him to adopt the children your kids two fathers would have to sign over there parental rights and with the one paying child support he may not be a problem but note if your husband adopts her then the real father is no longer responsible and child support will stop.

As for the other father whom his and his family are in your one daughters life it does not sound to me like he would give up his parental rights meaning your husband can not adopt that child but you can actually have your kids names changed without doing adoption but it cost a couple hundred dollars to do and the real fathers do have a say in weather you can do it or not


Brianna
Rating
I'm pretty sure that, if you get an adoption lawyer, he will put an add in a local paper to the birthfathers that the children are being adopted. If they do not respond after a certain amount of time, I believe that is consent through silence and your husband may adopt both of them.

If the second father responds that he does not want the adoption, you can always get your child's name changed to whatever you want it to be. You are the custodial parent and it sounds like he doesn't have any input at all as to what you name your child.

Good luck! :-)


C Wood
Rating
We don't know the legal answer to your question. You need to discuss this with a lawyer.

One question you need to ask the lawyer is, if he adopts your children, does that release their blood fathers from paying child support. I believe it does. If this is a financial hardship, then you need to rethink your decision.

I don't believe there is such a thing as a "quick" adoption.

If adoption gets older child's daddy free of child support, he'll agree to it. If it does not, flip a coin. We know less than you do how he'd react.

The younger child, since you'd be doing it as an open adoption, should go smoothly so long as you keep daddy and his family in her life.
cw


jittender k
Your husband is being nice he has long term family interest in mind. But for the Ist child it is fine to be adopted but for the second you should consult the father - request him to agree but allow him his visiting rightys. All this if your husband should be ready to bear all.





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