Home     Links     Contact Us     Bookmark  
   Homepage      News      Legal Forum      Dictionary  
Home : Legal Forum : Child Adoption

My husband wants to adopt my children . . .?
Find answers to your legal question.

My husband wants to adopt my children . . .?

I had 2 children already when I got married to my husband. They both have different fathers. The oldest I had while still in high school and the other I was engaged to her father but he became abusive toward me and my older daughter so I left him. My husband wants to adopt both my children, and being since I am pregnant we would like to do it fairly quickly.

Now to my questions. The oldest's father has never been a big part of her life. He started paying child support when she was 4 and only because the state made me go after him in order to get daycare assistance. It has always been garnished, he has never supported her willingly. He accepts that he is her father. He started having visitation regularly and kept that up for about 2 months. Since then nothing. It has been 2 1/2 years since we have heard anything from him. Does he have a chance to fight the adoption?

As for my other child, her father and his family are very much a part of her life. She sees them regularly and loves them dearly. I only want her adopted also so that she can have the same last name as the rest of the family(her and her sister both have my maiden name currently). I don't want to take them out of her life. We want it to be like an open adoption to where my husband has full parental rights but they can still see her under our discretion(as it is now since no custody has ever been established). If you were a father would you go for something like this?

Just curious as to the rights my husband and I have and getting some input on other opinions of our plan. Thanks for the help!!!


Wow..ok...for the first question.Ask the father if he is willing to give up his rights to the child (the only way your husband can adopt) it's been 2 1/2 years so he might be more willing than baby daddy number 2.

As for baby daddy number 2.Not to be rude, but I think it is messed up.She already has a father and a family.You cannot just ignore that for the sake of your husband and your daughter having his last name (she will not be traumatized for having another last name) if her dad is in her life as well as the other family I wouldn't even think about jeopardizing that relationship by attempting this otherwise you might have a legal battle on your hands.Count your blessings that her father is in her life.
Even if custody has never been established he can fight back and your situation might end up in a pickle.

There are forms your husband can sign (doctors/schools) that will help if there is ever an emergency.

So IMO: yes on number one..try..no on number two..it might backfire.

Good luck.

If I was father number one I would jump at it ... When your husband adopts the child support ends ... If I was father number 2 who has a place in the child's life ... Honestly , there is no way in hell ,you would get me to agree to let my child being adopted by another man.

America is screwed
In order for him to adopt the children your kids two fathers would have to sign over there parental rights and with the one paying child support he may not be a problem but note if your husband adopts her then the real father is no longer responsible and child support will stop.

As for the other father whom his and his family are in your one daughters life it does not sound to me like he would give up his parental rights meaning your husband can not adopt that child but you can actually have your kids names changed without doing adoption but it cost a couple hundred dollars to do and the real fathers do have a say in weather you can do it or not

I'm pretty sure that, if you get an adoption lawyer, he will put an add in a local paper to the birthfathers that the children are being adopted. If they do not respond after a certain amount of time, I believe that is consent through silence and your husband may adopt both of them.

If the second father responds that he does not want the adoption, you can always get your child's name changed to whatever you want it to be. You are the custodial parent and it sounds like he doesn't have any input at all as to what you name your child.

Good luck! :-)

C Wood
We don't know the legal answer to your question. You need to discuss this with a lawyer.

One question you need to ask the lawyer is, if he adopts your children, does that release their blood fathers from paying child support. I believe it does. If this is a financial hardship, then you need to rethink your decision.

I don't believe there is such a thing as a "quick" adoption.

If adoption gets older child's daddy free of child support, he'll agree to it. If it does not, flip a coin. We know less than you do how he'd react.

The younger child, since you'd be doing it as an open adoption, should go smoothly so long as you keep daddy and his family in her life.

jittender k
Your husband is being nice he has long term family interest in mind. But for the Ist child it is fine to be adopted but for the second you should consult the father - request him to agree but allow him his visiting rightys. All this if your husband should be ready to bear all.

 Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:  
User Email:   
Post a comment:

Legal Discussion Forum

 Where can i browse children who are up for adoption?
i must be lost my mind but i have this strong urge to have just one more we have 3 now and i m really not even sure where wed put another one i don't want to have anymore but the thought of ...

 How i am going to move on with my life when my daughter is going to be adoption ?
how i am going to move on with my life when my daughter is going to be adoption,...

 Am I able to get my partners name on my daughters B Certificate?
Basically, was with bio for 1 year, whole time was physically, emotionally, verbally abusing, while I was pregnant he has choked me, bruised me, and I have charged him for 2 counts of Assault, and I ...

 For an adopted child, how does finding your biological family impact on your life?
i am doing a major independent Research project on adopted children and the impacts on their life once they find their biological parents. if you have been adopted your experience of finding your ...

 Where can I find out information?
Does anyone know where I can find more information or even someone that wants to do a private adoption. I am unable to have children but I want one so bad we been trying for 5 years. I am going to ...

 Am in the process to become a foster carer any thoughts/support?
just wanting thoughts, support on the whole process wanting to talk about it! :)...

 I'm adopting what do my friends on this think?
i'm adopting 2 kids 1 i will have by the end off next mounth the other 1 is yet to be born i wont this so bad and i'm just sceard of what my friends will think so people on this please help ...

 Can a child given up for adoption be removed from contact?
I gave my daughter up for adoption 33 years ago. She found me 3 years ago and my life has been a living nightmare ever since. She had a bad childhood and hates me because of it and I want to protect ...

 Guilty or not guilty?
I am almost 50. For 26 years my natural mother has promised to see me and will back out. What is her problem? Guilty or unstable?
Additional Details
She is a very abrasive person. S...

 A question for birth mothers about continued contact with your child?
I adopted my 21 month old stepdaughter in May. My husband and I got custody of her when she was 8 months old because her birth mother left her unattended for 3 hours while she went to party with ...

 Can u put urself up for adoption?
i am jus inquisitive...but seriously can you???...

 If you were adopted, don't you feel sometimes when you go to the doctor.......?
and you have to fill out the history form about your health and you have to say that you don't know because you were adopted and the nurses, doctors, assistants look at you kind of strange? I ...

 How important are looks?
i just read someone talking about looking for children through photo listings. i know that i was "chosen" in a similar manner. from the beginning of the paper work until i arrived, all my ...

 Spouse not willing to adopt?
Has anyone dealt with a spouse who was unwilling to even talk about adoption as an option? We did IVF with my sister's eggs and had a son and we will try again in a few months but we only have ...

 Let me re-phrase closed adoption question?
Sorry. I wasn't clear enough. My original question was: "it seems open adoption is becoming more and more common, but I don't like the idea of that. I could still adopt a baby through ...

 Questions on adopting teenagers? ?
I'm thinking of adopting teenagers in the future. Since they're the ones who rarely get adopted, I think it'd be awesome to give them a nice home and family for the last few years ...

 Adoption website for kids with special needs?
I am not adopting, but I love looking at background stories of special needs children who are up for adoption. Please suggest some good websites like this. And I do hope to adopt when I get married....

 Do you think its wrong to adopt children and have biological children?
I know that when i'm a bit older I would like to adopt children and also have children biologically. I want to adopt from different countries, so my family would have a range of cultures. (I ...

 Is it insulting for old friends to assume that you never would have had biological children?
A very old friend who I don't get to talk to much anymore told me that she always knew I wouldn't have biological children. She thought that I would spend my whole life taking in teen ...

 Guilt about having children because of the option of adoption?
My boyfriend and I have discussed children; we both really want some in our future! I brought up adoption and he said he didn't know if he'd feel the same connection as with a baby from us, ...

Copyright (c) 2009-2013 Wiki Law 3k Friday, February 12, 2016 - Trusted legal information for you.
Archive: Forum  |  Forum  |  Forum  |  Links