My sister looking to adopt...complained of fees.....?

tattootraci

I was a birthmother who gave my son up for adoption in March 2006. I was 36 years old and from what I could tell the oldest with the agency I went threw. I came to the agency when I was alittle over six months pregnant. I had my own health insurance that covered my pregnancy. I am a tattoo artist and piercer so I had money for things I needed and housing etc. I came from another state so they put me in an apartment that they claim had everything I would need, from furniture to household goods i.e. towels dishes pots etc. They said it was a safe clean enviroment. I arrived the day before Thanksgiving. When we got to the apartment I entered it and it seemed like someone else was living there. There was dirty dishes in the sink and around the apartment and food crusted on the rug everywhere. The bed linens is what got me there was blood all over them. This gave me pause and I had decided to leave the next day. Waking up the next day after cleaning one room to sleep in (the livingroom) I went to take a shower and behold no towel no wash cloths nothing which I found concerning that I was put in a place they claimed to be "clean and safe" I did not see anyone from this agency for 4 days. During these four days I was able to meet other woman who were with this agency who told me that they were put on state welfare for medical coverage and food.. that they only see these woman when it is time for a doctors appointment ( to a doctor they choose and you have no choice but to go to or at least that's what they told these young woman)..Now the night I arrived I was given 5 profiles of adoptive families.. During those four days I cleaned that apartment from floor to ceiling an then went to the apartment complex they had these apartments in and filed an application for an apartment on my Dec 1 I moved into my own apartment where I paid all my bills....They claim that it cost 2000.00 to house these woman monthly I don't see how since I was in the same apartment complex and paid the same amount rent water and so on and my bills never went over 800 to 900 a month. They claimed to give a clothing allowance but no one I ever talked to recieve one and the adoptive families pay for this also they claim to give gift cards weekly but I again never recieved one and again the adoptive families are billed for this. I picked a woman to adopted my son and we meet rather quickly and she is a wonderful person and as soon as we meet it was if we had known each other forever. During the time I was with this agency ( the only reason I stayed with this agency was because I wanted to meet the woman in the profile they gave me that first night and I am so glad I did all they put me threw it was worth every bit of it to know my son is being raised and love but her). They claim to feed, shelter, cover medical expenses and clothed the birthmothers most of which is a lie. They did not clothed, feed, house, or cover medical expenses with me yet they billed my adoptive family for these things. They also try to claim that they took care of me since I was 8 weeks pregnant which was completely untrue. Unlike most of the birthmothers that went threw this agency who were 18 to 24 I asked question and talked to the woman who was adopting my son and we both realize that the agency was being manipulative. They didn't like that we talked and would try to cause problems between her and I ( like children would do) So we kept quite to make sure the adoption would go threw with out problems because it was constently brought to both of our attentions that once I signed the reliqueshment papers they were in control of who got the baby, because legally until the finally adoption she was only a guardian they had custody. Now I am fighting to have this agency shut down. They claim to be non profit and right off everything and have reciepts for things that did not go to the birthmothers. Once the birthmother has the child they legally have to care for her for six weeks and they push these woman out with the guise that if they leave in two weeks they will give them 1000.00 dollars which is completely illegal. A birthmother can not receive money from the adoption of her child unless it is in a gift card. This agency claims to spend all money received on there birthmothers which from experience I can tell you I paid my own living expenses and food and medical and the adoptive parent covered medical from the time he was born so they put no money out on me. Except to severe my right at the cost of that threw their lawyer was 250.00. At the final adoption the adoptive parent had to get her own lawyer and pay all court cost so where did they really have expense that cost her 52,791.83....We are still trying to figure this out. I believe the only one making money from adoption are these agencies. Someone needs to regulate and look over these agencies especially the ones that claim they are there for the child in my dealings it really says they are there for the money.

LaurieDB

Agency fees are outrageous. People who wish to adopt don't have to pay for the medical needs of the woman considering relinquishment, although many do.

People can adopt via foster care and not spend these fees. There are over 100,000 children in foster care who don't have legal families. They need parents, so this is a good way to go without paying high agency fees. She can contact her local Department of Children's Services (or it's equalivalent) in her county.

Lori A

There was a recent post about how much the top people at these not for profit agancies make per year. It was a 990 form if I remember correctly. They had only the ones who made 100,000 or more per year. I wish I could pull that up for you but I'm computer challenged and can not. I do remember the statement that the highest paid was 357,000.00 per year. Tell you anything?

Freckle Face

Seriously, you should talk to Gershom or look at some of her previous answers. Extremely informative.

Bottom line is it doesn't cost that much. They are making a profit and pocketing the money.

April B

Its not so much as taking care of the pregnant mom as it is they are keeping the money to keep the agency going. I too have done my homework,and I found that most of them keep the biggest part of the money.I guess they have to pay their employees somehow.

lahdh4

I went with the wrong agency. I didn't get anything like that. Maybe I will try again.

not

Does she know that each state has different laws? Does she know that each agency is different? Seems to me that she didn't look around much.

Joy M

It is not about the cost of care for the pregnant woman, it is what the market wil bear.

Depending on what type of child your sister orders, like if she is willing to not have an all-white baby, the price will change. Why because it costs less to feed African Americans?

I don't think that is it...

Gaia Raain

Adopting through foster care is free in most states. And the kids in foster care NEED homes.

Just throwing that out there.

ETA: A pregnant woman has not given up her child yet. Therefore, a pregnant woman's child does not NEED a home. If your sister is setting out to find a pregnant woman so that she can take her baby, she needs to be aware that this pregnant woman's baby is NOT available until after birth, and that this pregnant woman has every right to parent should she choose to. If your sister were interested in helping to find a home for a child who NEEDS one, and/or if she's angry about the fees, then she should adopt a child through foster care. There are infants waiting in the foster care system, too. AND IT'S FREE.

cagney

your sister hasn't done all of her research. foster care is free. and the adoption we did came nowhere near 40k. i consider myself intelligent and would have never went through any agency that expected those kind of fees.

also many states have a limit on the amount of expenses you can provide for a mother during the pregnancy. our agency encouraged govt. assistance so the mother would not feel obligated to place because she felt she "owed" someone for the money spent on her care.

trust me, the 40k is not seen by the woman who gives birth. your sister needs to go back and research more. she has found an agency that is making a killing.

Crucio

Yeah it can be costly; your sister could consider adopting from the foster care system it is extremely cheap and in some cases free. One can even find some babies that have already been surrender and then it would probably be a bit cheaper. Though one would still have to pay for home studies, court fees, a lawyer to get their paper work together, it could come out to be a couple grand. I know there are agencies out there with better fees you just have to find them.

Heather B

The agencies are lining their pockets nicely. Even the so-called not-for-profit agencies

It is outrageous. But people pay it. So the business of making money of the backs of little babes and vulnerable women continues . . .

sunny

The agency shouldn't be paying anything to an expectant mother, it's coercive.

There is no reason in the US for an agency's customers to be paying for these mother's living expenses. In this country we have Medicaid, Welfare, and WIC. These programs must be pretty good, in my state we are flooded with illegal immigrants who exploit these services to their breaking point. Shouldn't we pay for our own citizens to use them?

This agency your sister has 'researched' probably has hefty salaries to pay. Non-profit doesn't mean no profit you know, it just means you don't have to SHOW a profit! That means bonuses to those who 'place' more infants.

Check out these CEO salaries at 'non-profit adoption agencies'. And you KNOW the attorneys ALWAYS make more than anyone...

So the $900/wk is not probably not going to the mother!

http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/14774

ETA: Jenny: They are not legal. They do not pay taxes. They broke our laws. Hel-lo?

Wundt

$40K... That sounds at the high end of what most agencies charge. It sounds like she has chosen the most expensive option out there for a domestic adoption.

Istead of complaining, should should look to adopt from the foster care system. Those are the kids who REALLY need homes.

summer_r23

It doesn't have to be that much... If you adopt from foster care then its almost free.. maybe a thousand.... OR you can find someone on her own and they don't care about anything but you paying the hospital bill then get a lawyer and it would cost about 10,000.00 -+... At least were i live.. I have done all the research on it.. Good luck and tons of blessings

mom of many

I am totally in favor of adoption, but the figure on supporting the pregnant mom sounds high to me. I think if it was that high more mothers would opt for adoption. I would guess that the agencies are taking a real big chunk for "fees" and lawyers.

~Jenny~

when my sister gave up her baby...she certainly didn't get that much money...she was informed that most states have a cap on how much a birthmother would receive...then again the lawyer handling the adoption was driving a brand new Lexus...hmmm wonder if lawyers have a cap set by the law...

ETA>>>> Sunny...it really shouldn't matter if your an immigrant or not....everyone who is in need should be able to receive help...I have seen many many citizens take advantage and lie to the system...so why put people in a different class....I have no problem helping women in need...so long as they are trying to better themselves...must leave now...getting irritated when it comes to comments such as yours
ETA>>>> Sunny I would appreciate it if you would not email me with comments that you have stated...I WILL NOT debate this with you...you have your views and I have mine...doesn't make one of us wrong or right....my point is...I have seen many different races including US Citizins abuse the states help...I've seen ppl receiving food stamps...while they drive and wear expensive things....we all have our own opinions...lets just agree to respect each other on that...and not send emails such as yours

bailezra

That sounds about right, from what I have heard from other couples who were seeking to adopt. There are medical expenses, prenatal expenses for the birth mother, and agency fees, among other things.

scrgrl

Yeah and you can be a total idiot and no way should have kids, and still you can have as many as you desire. But if you want to adopt, they put you through so many hoops and stupid human tricks...it's just wrong.

Ladyz L

I have to agree that it's impossible for a young to raise this amount of money...

she should look for a child in China or Africa- many beautiful babies there- and the costs won't be anywhere like what you have mentioned.

Good like! she is doing the most beautiful thing a woman can do.

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