Name Change Question?

Jennifer L

Unless there is a seriously compelling reason, I don't support changing the name of an adopted child. So, I don't agree with your mother changing your sister's name to begin with. I can understand why your sister wants to change her name back.

Moriah Contreras

I think it's nice your sister wants to have some link to her biological family. Is it possible for her to keep her first and middle name and add the other name as a second middle name? That way she can still have the link to her biological family, but she can still be respectful to what your mother has given her.
It's a shame that your mother got so offended.

Ave

Has she considered having two middle names? I went through a name change when I was in my teens, and wanted to switch out my middle name. However my middle name was my mothers middle name and had sentimental value to my family. As a compromise of sorts I added the name I wanted as my 'first' middle name and kept my previous one as my 'second' middle name. Best of luck!

OrcaLover

I think it is great that she knows her birth name!
Maybe she could add her birth name INTO her name like (example: Aimee Renee Ming Williams) lol i just made that up but she could have two middle names like that above :) I know loads of people with two middle names.

LinnyG

If I were younger, I would have changed both my first AND middle names back to my original name. But, I am self employed, and have been for 20 years, and to change my name would be a pain in the butt. I did get a small tattoo of my original name initials. I love my original name. Its my FAMILY name. My adoptive name is not original- and has no meaning. Its a shame your a Mom is threatened.

Lady Gaga person.

it's great that she knows her real name, she an make it her middle name or just change her name to it.. it's great! i found out my real name which was tanya and i changed my middle name to it...

Jason

Maybe your sister could explain to your mom why she wants to change it or maybe she could have two middle names.

Wellspring

"my mom says it is basically a slap in her face"

Good ole' mom didn't adopt a"what" ('a' baby, 'a' child, 'a' boy, 'a' girl).
She adopted "who" (little Suzy or little Mary....).
Talk about a slap in the face, if Mom had an ounce of respect for little Suzy or little Mary she wouldn't have made an object of her.

Pip

My son's first name was changed and I did know before reunion, middle name kept as that's his adad's first name. I remember my mum not understanding why I named my son as she was adamant he was adopted but I was determined that I gave him the names I chose even though at this point I knew it would be likely his names would be changed.

My son has used his original to join one online site as he started to do his (natural) family tree having already done his adoptive family tree.

It is natural to me that my son continues to use his name as that is the one he has grown up with so when I found out he had joined a site using his original one it surprised me.

Stacey

Has your sister ever thought about using the name when she has a daughter later in life?
I understand why she would want to change her name, but it is understandable why your mother is so upset too.

Walter Ford II

"I can understand my moms hurt about my sister wanting to change it,"

I can't

"my mom says it is basically a slap in her face"

Actually she slapped your sister in the face right along with her natural mother by disrespecting her natural mothers decision to give her a name. As far as I see it, that is non negotiable. Adoptee's aren't pets.

"but I can also see why my sister would want to do this."

Thats all that matters and if her amom had any self respect she wouldn't have tried to play make believe and disrespected what was given to your sister by her natural mother.

Jonathan

I was adopted at birth. My adoptive Mom gave me my name. It is the name I have always been called and it is my name. I agree with that the Mom that raises the child should get to name the child as long as the child is not used to being called another name

Dorian

My adoptive mother changed my name when she adopted me at birth. I love my name and to me it perfectly matches who I am. I know what my birth mom named me but that name doesn't have any emotional meaning for me.

However, if you sister is an adult she can legally change her name to whatever she wants. I guess your mom probably feels threatened but she should respect your sister's wishes and know she raised her daughter to know her own mind and respect her decisions.

My children aren't adopted but if as adults they ever decide they want to change their names I would support them, even though I love their names. It's their decision and even though it would be hard for me if it's something they really felt strongly about and they were legally an adult I would accept their decision.

So birth parents are the only ones who have the right to name children? Did she ever go by this name ever in her life? You might say one of my adopted children had 3 names. I met his birth mother and was there with her when she gave birth and he came home from the hospital with me. She saw him a couple of more times and she knew what I was going to name him before she gave birth and even called him the name I gave him after birth. The hospital knowing that hew was being given for adoption gave him the name of Wayne. I called him Samuel and the birth mother found out later filled out a birth certificate with the name Billie Ray. She told me that was her father's name. But my son has always been Samuel which means Gift from God. So I feel that Samuel is his real name. I know some of you are going to disagree and well, that's your right

Erica

My thoughts...if your sister is an adult it's absolutely up to her, but THIS is the type of situation that I think adoptive parents must dread when their child looks for (or finds) the bio parents. I get your sister wanting to have some connection to the person who gave birth to her, but I'd be really hurt, too. SHE isn't her mom, and if I was your mom I'd feel a little bit like bio mom was taking my place, or that your sis was TRYING to replace her. I'm sure that's not at all how it is, but from your mom's perspective SHE is the mom, this other woman, although she gave her a great gift, is nothing but a donor.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: