Need advice, im adopted,met my dad ten yrs ago, have 5 half siblings living 5miles from me who now nothing of?

Amy

I can understand you wanting to have contact with family. Obviously you made a choice to reach out to your father and it must be heartbreaking to realize that he wants nothing to do with you or your siblings. That said, move on from him, if he wants to have a relationship with you, he will have to take the steps to do so. You on the other hand have every right to at least attempt to contact the family that is related to you by blood. If he gave you up because of something he did wrong that's his mistake to bear, not yours. Write a simple letter with your contact information. If your siblings want to meet you they will contact you. Be prepared though that some of them may not want to. Your life will be enriched by the addition of any family to your life. I wish you the best of luck and hope that everything turns out well.

Dave

That's a difficult one! From your Dad's point of view he doesn't want anyone knowing about you for whatever reason. From your point of view, you want some kind of relationship with your family.

But from the half siblings point of view, they may or may not want any contact. I would be inclined to tell them to be honest, they have a right to know and make their own mind up about having any form of relationship with you.

Obviously I don;t need to say it'll be hard on both you and them, your dad could deny all knowledge of you and they are more likely to believe him.

All I can say is good luck in whatever you decide, and I hope everyone ends up happy

kims

If you want to, go ahead.

Your father's decisions from the past and his wishes in the present shouldn't control what you do with YOUR life. Your brothers and sisters should at least have the option of knowing you. It might not be easy. They might get all upset at learning something unexpected about their dad. You're risking rejection. You didn't put anyone into this position, so I don't think you're the one that should have guilt thrown at them.

If someone showed up on my doorstep and told me they were my brother/sister, I'd be so very happy. I'd be angry with my mom or dad for keeping it a secret, but I'd welcome another sibling. Why ever not?

hesterthehester

I guess it would depend on 1) Your motivation for wanting to tell them. 2) What effect it will have on their Family.

and you need to weigh the to. If it's just needing to get the secret out VS destroying their family structure.. then I'd say no.

Have you talked to your father recently? Maybe his feelings on it have changed..

-HtJ

Hannah B

Tell them if he isn't going to. He had his chance to tell them his way - now you have to.

Heather B

As grown adults you have the freedom to associate with whomever you choose; just like the rest of the population.

As adults, we do not need Mommy or Daddy's permission to contact whoever we want to.

I hope you are received by your siblings with warmth and love. All the best to you.

pinklemonade9474

i would!!!! its your life not your dads!!! answer mine please http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ArP.y2yOG26fjeXcr15H2xPsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080612073543AAMXFMk

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: