Need some VERY general adoption advice..?

babyblue83

There are a lot of things to consider about yourselves to help choose. You can adopt through fostering. Good to see a lot of people in support of that. With foster care, remember that the children came into care for some reason (various forms of abuse and/or neglect). You should be sure to work with an agency that will support you and prepare you for some of the behaviors that make come out of the trauma. Children can recover and learn to bond well, they just may need some extra special attention. If a child you are fostering is not legally "free", then yes, they could be returned to their parents if the parents' make necessary improvements. If the parents' rights have been terminated, you may be able to become the adoptive parents. In this case, you will likely not meet the birth parents or have on going contact. With a domestic, voluntary adoption, you may have the opportunity to meet and get to know your child's birth parents. In this case, the birth parents actually often select you for their child through a profile you create. You will find that the majority of adoption agencies do work with open adoptions over closed adoptions. The philosophy behind this is that having information and a connection to the birth family may be ultimately more positive for the child. International adoptions can take a greater time investment that the others. Also with international, you are at the mercy of politics and "freezes" sometimes occur. When evaluating the type, consider your personalities, your patience levels, your life style and your ability to feel "out of control" of a situation. Do some research and find the best fit both in the type and in the agency you use. Good luck!

Tarra

Foster care!!!

Mom to Foster Children

FOSTER CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DevonChaos

Foster care. Domestic foster care.

kidmindi

Foster Care. Those children NEED homes and families. If you could, consider a sibling group or a special needs child. They are very hard to place. Many times these kids age out with no family or siblings are split up.

smarmy

FOSTER CARE. Those kids are thrown to the streets upon turning 18. Take one now or pay for their housing later on when they land in prison. No joke, read up on it.

Raven

I'd also have to say foster care, it is the only form of adoption that at least attempts to do what adoption was supposed to do in the first place. Infant adoption often takes a newborn from a young mother who could raise it, not the intended use for adoption. Adoption was SUPPOSED to give a child without a family a family and a stable and loving environment to finish their transition into adulthood. Older children residing therein NEVER get the families they want/need so desperately and age out of the system like they spent their time in it, alone.

Foster care adoption.... best, only needed (more often times) form of adoption

AnnaBelle

Foster care. I would also recommend openness, if it's an option, but often, given the nature of the beast, it's not. Children are generally in foster care due to safety issues. However, I know of at least one case where that was not true, so it would have been better for all involved for there to have been openness, at the very least.

Again, too often, it's not possible, but a child should have the option of knowing who and where they came from.

Karnerb

We adopted both of our kids (newborn and 15) through foster care...there are kids in the system that need good homes and the adoptions cost next to nothing. AND it isn't true that you cant get babies through the foster care system. Good luck

Jennifer

After adopting internationally, I would recommend adopting from foster care. And it's not because we are unhappy with our children, we absolutely love them. But when we were deciding which route to go, we chose internationally because we assumed that children in the foster care system would have a lot more baggage and be harder to parent because of all they've been through. After all, most of these kids are there because they had parents who abused them or neglected them. Whereas we assumed that children raised in an orphanage were there because their parents died and they were sweet innocent children. Now we know that is not the case at all. All adopted children have issues, and I mean ALL. Even if they were adopted at birth, there has been a separation and they will always feel something missing. Our boys were abandoned by their parents and neglected in the orphanage. They have some real serious issues. We've worked through so much with them already, but they are just as much of a handful as any foster kid. And we would have saved sooooo much money going through foster care. It's free!! We paid around $23,000. And adopting internationally is a lot of stress too. If we do it again, it'll be through foster care.

gypsywinter

""AND it isn't true that you cant get babies through the foster care system.""

The back-door route for cheaper outright adoption of babies versus paying thousands upon thousands of $$$$$$$ to adoption agencies, private adoptions. Who says those who desire to adopt infants haven't sought other "routes"?? Evidently they most certainly have. The foster care population of infants, is the smallest population (percentage) of children in foster care...they are the most sought after and the first to find "placement" by those who profess to want to be a "foster parent"..when in fact they actually are seeking a different route to adopt infants and toddlers, on the cheap, with perks. This is why the percentage of children over the age of 8 languish in the system...those children aren't brand-new and come with 'baggage'. I also would not advise, at the drop of the hat, to every person that comes here, to become a foster parent. Foster kids deserve the best, just like any newborn bought from an adoption agency is promised to get. I believe any person who fosters with the only motive of helping a child in need..is the real hero.

SOME of you Fost-to-Adopt parents here..need to get honest about your motives, rather than painting this fake altruistic picture of yourselves.

I wholeheartedly support and applaud any person who is a Foster Parent...who is truly there to help the child in need...not helping themselves, once again..to a baby/toddler they need to fulfill their parenting desires.

If you believe you have the patience, skill sets and love that is so required, then help the child who really needs a home and family...the older child in foster care.

Matt

Your question sounds a little miss leading........ You and your spouse will do and try anything, "Anything" to adopt a child..... Maybe looking for a black market adoption, Or just maybe looking for a pregnant teen to persuade to give her child away....... Interesting......

Start with one, like fostering and go from there. You can parent all ages in foster care although sometimes you have to give the children back to the birth parents depending on their situation.

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