Opinions on international Adoption?

Mommy to 8 Little Divas

I think IA is a wonderful thing. My 5th baby is adopted. No, she doesn't look anything like the rest of my children, but who cares? She is loved by me, her daddy, and her sisters. MY family has no problem with it, and accepted her just like I expected.

Erin L

For great information and discussion on international adoption, go to informedadoptions.com. It is specifically meant to help prevent adoption disruptions and to help parents who have adopted/ want to adopt internationally navigate the ethical issues and meet the needs of their internationally adopted children. Best wishes to you. It sounds like you will educate yourself and be a good mother to a child adopted internationally if that is what you decide.

tickled blue

I think taking babies out of poor countries for the purpose of international adoption is a bad idea. I think we should spend the thousands of dollars needed to adopt the child on resources to help the original mothers care for the child. Our 30,000+ american dollars could have helped raise that child to adulthood with his natural mother.
I have worked in Russia, Ukraine, and Poland with orphanages and there are thousands of children who have no family, have no family that wants them, or had to be removed from their family for abuse reasons. These children are available for adoption and I think we and others should open our homes to them.
B/C an infant is in a different situation, I can't be completely positive that they were not taken, purchased, or coerced from their first mothers. While it does not happen in every case, it does happen quite frequently....and there is no oversight. I simply believe that with the numerous children of the world and the children right here in the US who need homes, there is no need to adopt an infant from another country that does not have strict guidelines and regulations for adoption of infants. While your cousin may very well be happy for his adoption.....I question what he knows of his first family. If he knows anything as to why he was placed with your family. If he doesn't know his first family, then who is to say under what conditions he was given/taken. While he may feel great that he has such a wonderful family, I think it is likely that he already had a wonderful family....and that they loved him very much...but for unknown reasons were unable to care for him. If those reasons are abuse/neglect, then fine.....but if those reasons were merely pressure or financial reasons....then obviously that is awful. Especially in light of the thousands of dollars posted by his adoptive family to attain him. The fact is we don't know what the reasons were. If you find out for certain that the child is abandoned/abused/neglected, fine....go for it. But until that point, I think international adoption of infants sends the message that 'we' can raise a child better b/c we have more money than you. If we truly want to help these babies, all of our money could be going to far better things....like food, medication, diapers, parenting, infrastructure for jobs, etc.

Gaia Raain

http://www.adoptedthemovie.com/
http://onthefaultline.com/

The first link is to a film that hasn't come out yet, but you can watch the trailer. It sounds awesome, and I plan to get my copy asap.

The second link is to a film that has come out, and I've heard great reviews.

Talk to international adoptees (other than the ones you know), and first parents (if you can find them). There's no better place to get your information than from those who lived it!

Possum

Most adoptees will tell their adoptive parents what they think the adoptive parents want to hear.
They're usually too scared that they'll be rejected - or given away again.
I did it my whole life - and hundreds of adoptees I know - did exactly the same.
We don't want to hurt our adoptive families - as usually we love them deeply.
To tell our adoptive parents that we don't like being adopted - has nothing to do with them personally - but they too often take it that way - so we keep our mouths closed.
Adoptees don't want to cause pain - so they keep their own pain within.
Not all - but most do.
Just something to think about.

Independ"ant"

I think adopting internationally isn't a bad thing. I think what has become of it is a bad thing.

Too many people that are adopting could care less if the issues of child rape, kidnappings, and coercions are addressed, or that their "adopting?" is creating atrocities and even how these adoptee's are going to feel when they discover the truth.
Its the out of sight out of mind mentality or it wasn't my case or situation that is wrong. Fortunately, human rights activists are standing up for the people being affected and this "demand" for IA babies will go back to being ethical. In Honduras only, it is estimated that 90% of the adoptions to US citizens were illegal. Guate is now halting their adoptions until its cleaned up. They are estimating that 2/3 of the adoptions there happened out of the situations I posted above. Many pap's and ap's should find out as much as possible and reunite the children to their mothers if its possible. I don't think these AP's will because it will mean a loss to "them". Many people that are aware and have seen what happened in those countries are now completely against adoption because the "see" that its not about the children anymore, its about an adults pyschological need to have a child.

I know not all cases are unethical but too many thousands of them are. I know for myself that I could not adopt if it meant saving 1 girl as young as 12 from being used as a breeder and being incestually raped throughout her childhood.

I would take the unselfish road and help a mother or family out , instead of taking their child away. Almost all legal adoptions are happening simply because they are poor and do not have governmental support. Adoption doesn't help anyone but the person adopting but does destroy families and these children being treated as commodity.

Alyssa's mommy

If you are a shy person you may have trouble. You need to be outspoken and ready to defend your family choices when idiots come up to your international child and makes a rude comment. As a whole, a lot of adults can make some really stupid comments without thinking.

I think it is a great thing though. Adopting any child is a wonderful thing.

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