PLEASE HELP READ MY SHORT LIL STORY I NEED HELP 10 POINTS FOR BEST ANSWER=)?

21408

OMG!! It would be so wonderful if you acept the baby!! That baby would be so LOVED with your family!! GOOD LUCK!!! If I were you... i would pray to get the answer :) and talk with a doctor about the baby and the drugs stuff, that would be better, and then, take a decision :) GOOD LUCK!!!!!

kateiskate

Okay first thing, if you were married at 16, what's going on in your family and your life that made you get married so young? That reeks of some kind of family dysfunction.

Also, you're only 18!! You have to be at least 25 to adopt from most agencies and for GOOD REASON! Your body is still growing and still developing, you're not ready for childbirth or adoption yet. You need to grow up before you can be a parent to someone else.

I really think you should wait.

Linny G

You're 18. That means you probably have only been menstruating for 5 years. You cannot tell if you are infertile at the age of 18! You're still a young girl, still growing, PCOS or not. You were married at age 16???? Hmmm...

You wrote, "HER MOM AND ONLY SISTER ARE OKAY CAUSE THEY KNOW WITH US THE BABY IS GOING TO HAVE EVERYTHING MATERIAL AND SPECIALLY LOVE THEY ARE VERY POOR" That's all fine and good, but it this s NOT their decision to make. It's HER decision. Material goods mean nothing.

I think you should recommend she gets help with her addiction. Going through a crisis is NOT a time to make a decision about your child.

sonomd

It is extremely difficult to adopt internationally, several Latin American countries don't even allow it. And if it were permitted, you will have spent ALOT of money doing so. Additionally, at 20, you may not qualify to adopt quite yet. Do your homework before you build up any expectations.

I sincerely wish you luck.

sweetjane

OR, you could support your family member and offer her some help and treatment for her drug problem.....allowing her to keep her child, support herself, and become a healthy, productive member of society. At the VERY LEAST, you could offer support and treatment during and following her pregnancy....you could offer an education, food, etc., so that this mother doesn't have to live the rest of her life in poverty. "HER MOM AND ONLY SISTER ARE OKAY CAUSE THEY KNOW WITH US THE BABY IS GOING TO HAVE EVERYTHING MATERIAL AND SPECIALLY LOVE THEY ARE VERY POOR" All of the material things in the world do not make up for losing your mother. Further, I am certain that they love this child and his/her mother very much. Poverty doesn't mean you don't love your child....nor does addiction.

tish_part deux

please don't SHOUT at us...

honestly, your infertilty--abeit unfortunate--is not a good enough reason to take a baby from a poor mexican woman in a bad situation. besides, you can't simply 'bring a baby over the boarder" like a bottle of tequila. are you working with an adoption agency? have you consulted an attorney? if no. then this can be considered trafficking.

also, babies don't need "material things." and calling this woman a "drug addict' is condescending and rude.

and what if the baby is NOT "GOOD AND HEALTHY" would you simply turn your back? if yes, then it reads to me that this attempt to be a savior, is more self-serving.

i'd suggest dealing with your infertility. and not entering into arrangements to get a baby from a poor woman in a bad situation.

melody304

why at 18? and to try and take on a drug ADDICT baby is crazy for any body that does not have any kids at all, because I adopted a baby that was addicted to drugs at birth and Iv ben married for over 20 years and we have 3 other kids I gave birth to and had know idea what in the world was wrong with her when we got her, she was crying all the time for no reason so we thought.... and we took her to at least 5 doctors before we found out what was going on with her, you see.. when you take on this baby with this problem you are taking on the drug problems that the mothers had all her life. most likely this baby will not be healthy, Im not saying do not adopted because a baby will not be healthy, that's insane!! you are just such a young couple just starting your lives, my little one today is healthy now, but she was terribly sick when we got her. she had not Only the drug problems, but she had hands foot @ mouth decease, she had thresh in the mouth, and she was sear sly over wait to the point we had to set her up for her to sleep, when the doctor diagnosed her with the drug problem, he wanted to put her on methadone for the problem because he said I could probably not be able to handle A drug addicted baby, I SAID NO METHADONE, I researched the side affects of that, and its unreal !! my older children helped me with her and everything worked out fine for us. research this before you make this big decision please. IF I HAD IT TO DO OVER? I WOULD DO IT AGAIN. I hope this will help you make the right desicion.

kidmindi

If you and your husband are sure about adopting this child, the first thing you need to do is get a lawyer. You must make sure everything is legal, because if the birth mom came back years later and wanted the child and the paperwork wasn't correct, then she could take the child back.

The second thing you need to do is look into what drug addicted babies go thru after birth and what special needs this child may have thru out it's life.

Are you prepared to care for a special needs child both financially and emotionally. (as the mom of a special needs child I can tell you it is NOT easy)

Also how would you feel about this child if you did get pregnant with your own (PCOS patients do get pregnant, some just take a long time) You have to make sure you would never treat it any different from your biological child.

If you are sure about all of these things, get a lawyer and good luck.

Jinx

Well for one, the women is a drug addict. So she might carry really nasty std's which she could be passing on to the baby!! (ex; Aids)
So that's bad! Also, you'll have to fill out a heap of legal papers!
Overall i think its alot of work and struggle.
Maybe you should just adopt a u.sa child? Or adopt a child from and orphanage in another country..?

sam22254

Your age means's nothing. I got married at the age of 19 and had my first child at 20 and now i have 3 children and have been married for 29 years. Sounds good to me just don;t hid the fact of who this child;s birth parents are. I would hate to see what mexico does to children that aren't wanted. Go for it.

Nikki

I don't see a problem with it. Just make sure you're the legal parents, or she can change her mind and take her baby back at any time.

Nickerbocker_55 Due: 07/11/09

Your sooo young yet. You still have plently of time for the two of you to try for your own child but if you feel sorry for this child and are feeling this may be your only chance at parenthood then I say go for it but the baby is going to be a lot more fussy because it most likely will have withdrawl symptoms and could have problems in the future. But it sounds like it really needs someone so good luck.

mary jane g

Wanting a child so desperately is very hard and to have someone offer to "give" you a child is the most Precious gift. I know for a fact that the process is timely, especially in California. My advice is to become a certified foster parent now - hurry. Once the baby is born he/she can legally be placed in your home and you will receive support! I have fostered many prenatally exposed babies, it is very rewarding and alot of work, trained support is wonderful. The county will then help to facilitate the adoption. In most cases you will be able to name the baby and do everything as though you were the birth parent! Good luck!

Ms. proud to be #4

I don't know bout this when the baby grows up she might try to take back or something yeah it will be an good idea if she signs the baby over to you then you want have to worry about any fertility drug or nothing else. good luck and god bless

beauty787

I think that you should go for because of your first time parents than you should try especially if she child is in a very poor place because then it will grow up to be a very respectful person such as yourself !

Good Luck !

Proud mom

Sounds like a great idea! Be prepared though as most couples who adopt because of not being able to conceive actually fall pregnant afterwords.
You are doing a beautiful thing by adopting a child!
Congratulations and all the best!

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