Please help me out, somebody?!?!?

My family signed up for foster care-to adopt. We were given a child at the age of 3 weeks, now he is 8monthes. He was taken away due to neglect. I loooovvvvvvvve him so much. But an hour ago his caseworker came to our house, saying the child will be placed back into his home. Im crying a lot and i don't know what to do. The mother is not ready, and i know that but obvisily i can't stop this from happening! Im really upset, Im sobbing right now. Please help, how can I make letting go easier. He will be with us for about 1 1/2 months, then he goes home. I think we may bale to still see him but im not sure..... MA this is hard! Im soooo upset. I didn't see it coming we were suppose to adopt him in about 6 more months but now we can't
He will start having overnights with his mom, and then stay for a week... then he'll go home for good. If the motehr shows shes not ready, by neglecting him again or something they take him back away. Is it wrong of me to hope something goes bad so we get to keep him? ughhh i love him as much as i love my real borotehr! i wonder if we'll get more kids when he leaves. Im not sure i can handle if we do.
Please help me out, give me some information or jsut tell me it will be ok. that might help i jsut need to hear people saying its gonna be ok. ppeople other then my mom and dad.
Thank you
~Abby

Mei-Ling

I understand that you are in a lot of pain.

But please don't pray that something "bad" happens to his other mother just so you can be a parent. I can understand why you would say that but that is not how adoption works.

The best thing for a child is to be with his original mother who - hopefully - plans to take care of her child when given a 2nd chance.

My <3 is you

Well if you really love him you should know whats best for him. sometimes being with the real mother when you have a chance is very good. But if the mother is not good like you say then that surely isn't the best for him. So just pray on it

Poke

hey abby, you should tell your parents about how you feel, if they dont know already. ask them to see if they can sort out some sort of way where you can meet the child.
eg. babysitting
or just go round to see him/her. im sure the mother will appreciate it.

but i personally think, suggesting to keep the child is wrong. even though you are going through pain, im guessing the real mother would be if she didnt get her child.

so i think best bets is to arrange babysitting, or daily,weekly etc visits. :)

or even an outing with your family and the babys.

Tiffany

Abby,

You are obviously a very caring person. Of course, you are hurting now. Remember, you are doing a wonderful thing for this child by taking care of him until his family is ready to do that. Sometimes, we want to keep someone that needs to be loved and taken care of, but the child does have to go back to his family.

Perhaps your family will get another chance to adopt. There is always a greater plan, often something we can not even imagine.

For now, enjoy the child while you have him. You will always have the sweet memories. God bless you.

boxersdodrool

The case plan most always points to reunite the family. Fostering isn't easy but it is commendable for what you are doing. Just take with you the knowledge that you helped this little one along his life journey and pray the reunion goes well. Best of luck and please accept another child to foster. There are so many out there the chance you may be able to give them.

Charity Jones

I can imagine the emotional pain you feel. I hope the child's mother takes good care of him. try to stay in contact.
God bless the child and you to.

kateiskate

The purpose of foster care is to allow children to live in safe homes for a time while their parents get situated enough to properly care for them. The intention is that when the parents get back on their feet the family will be reunited. It is hard not to get attached to the kids, but the best thing for the child is to be raised in his own family. It's not "wrong" of you to hope something goes wrong, but you should hope that everything works out for the best for him, even if that is not necessarily with you and your family.

durdenslabs

It will be o.k. Fostering is rough. you don't know if you'll get to keep the child or not. The whole point of fostering a child is to give the bio parent(s) a chance to raise their child correctly and in the best way possible. A child has a right to be with their birth family if they can. If it doesn't work out then he'll probably end up back in your home since that's where he was in the first place. A bio parent has 15 months to get their life straight for their child. If they can't do it in that time then the rights are taken away and the child is up for adoption.
It's hard fostering. you get attached quickly and don't want them to leave. Just try to remember that the reason your mom/dad and you are fostering is to give a child a temporary safe, loving place to stay until he can go back to his bio parents (if possible). If they go back then you know you all have done everything possible to make things easier for him/her. If the child stays and you all decide to adopt then you know you are taking things to the next level by giving him/her the family they deserve.

DevonChaos

You should be happy that he is going to be with his family. The best thing for a child is to grow up with their family, so long as they are safe.

I know that you love him, but really, this is whats best. Perhaps you can ask to send him gifts, and maybe you can ask for pictures from time to time.

Don't hope that something bad happens so he comes home. He doesn't have a say in what is going on, and he needs his mother to step up now and parent. While you would like to have him around, this is what was meant to be. I'm sorry for your loss. It will be hard. You can take comfort in knowing that he will be where he belongs most of all. I know I would have rather been with my first mother. Perhaps if you were in his situation, you could see the other side of it better.

Crucio

All you can do is pray that his mother is ready to take care of him again. Pray that Lord will look out for him. Sadly some children do fall threw the cracks there was a little boy in my area 3years old he was taken away for 2 weeks due allegations of abuse. He was returned to his mother and was dead not even three weeks after being given back to her. Mother and boyfriend have been charged with the little boys murder.

If your parents are foster parents it very likely you will get another placement. The foster care to adopt program places foster parents with children/babys who have a high probability to become available for adoption however the key word is probability it is not guarantee that they will become available for adoption.

Your family loved and gave this baby stability while he was with you all that is what is important. This baby will also continue to have you all praying and hoping the best for him. After all love never stops even if you dont regular see someone or if you dont see them at all.

gabbyleahh

talk to the mother, ask her if SHE is ready yet

good luck :)

Ichimaru_Gin

Your family should have taken more care of that baby. It is a high level responsibility that they neglected and now paying the consequences for. You don't do that to a baby.

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