Please no one be mean, I have not made up my mind yet, I am looking into adoption?

Heather B

There are loads of profiles out there and I defy any mother not to compare themselves unfavorably with the fairytale promises of the fabricated marketing contained therein.

I'd also suggest reading 'If you are Considering Adoption for your Baby' written by mothers who have walked in your shoes before you:

http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index.php?id=1

Be very careful, there are predators out there with only their own need for a baby at heart and they will treat you like a wonderful goddess to extract your baby from you. Keep what is best for you and your baby in mind and don't let other people lay their own problems at your feet to make you feel sorry for them or make you feel they are more worthy.

Please take care

ETA: people will promote 'open' adoption. 'open' adoption is not enforceable and very often is promised then abruptly 'closed' once the ink is dry on the relinquishment papers. Like I said, please take care.

sam22254

I don't know the answer but I will tell you this much TELL THE FATHER. He might just want to be a father. Just because he doesn't want to be with you doesn't mean he wants to walk away from his child. I see cases like this all over the world and I have lived this nightmare with my son which is a good father. I haven't been on in a week because as a family we went on a skiing trip. This is the first time his daughter got to see snow. Why because the mother hid his daughter so she could hid the fact she was pregnant so she could give the baby to her new boyfriends family out of state. He found out about her plans 2 days before the birth of the child he has been fighting for 3 years now and has visitation. This girl as gone as far as not let him see his daughter when he has his son but lawyers have stopped her from doing that any more. Now he has her more than the mother.
You really need to think hard on this because at first they might say you would be able to see your child and then change their minds. But I would rather you give the child up than what happened to that little girl in Florida that got in the way of her mom partying. Good luck But tell the father ok.
I didn't mean that the mother's that keep their children murder them. But that child in Flordia would have been better off being adopted by a family than the mother she got. Maybe everyone told her Keep the child and that they would help her and then walked away. No matter how upset I get with my son or daughter I never let anything come between my grandchild and me.

kitta

Please keep in mind that once you let your baby go, you will no longer have any control over what happens to him or her.

People who are trying to adopt a child present themselves to you in a favorable way, but they may not remain as they appear.

Your child may miss you and wonder why you left. Open adoption is not enforceable and it doesn't take away the pain of the loss.

You will always be your child's mother, but you may not always be in your child' s life, if you choose adoption.

I wish you well, whatever you decide to do.

kateiskate

I just wanted to let you know that "open adoption" is not enforceable by any laws and may be promised to you to coerce you into relinquishing your child.

gypsywinter

""But I would rather you give the child up than what happened to that little girl in Florida that got in the way of her mom partying.""

Keeping one's baby rather than surrendering for adoption does not automatically = murderer!

To the OP....think very long and hard about this. Research all resources that may be available to you (as your baby's mother) and your baby. Being pregnant and raising your own child is not the end of the world nor your life, contrary to adoption propaganda. AND do not believe for one second that if you surrender your child for adoption...that sometime in the future should you reunite, that your surrendered child will fall on bended knee and thank you lovingly for 'giving her/him away'. That too is many times a falsehood. And as others have said...Open Adoption can close at any time. There is no legal enforcement for this type of agreement. And depending how far along you are...whether others here like it or not....abortion is still legal at the moment and is also another alternative.

Please investigate all your possibilities of raising your own child, before you embark on the permanent road of adoption. For your sake and your baby's sake. I wish you well whatever your choice may come to be.

Nikki

im a birthmom i gave my child up for adoption. he will be 3 months on the 19th...
Its very very very hard...the whole pregnancy i was mostly fine & while I held him in my arms for those 3 days I was fine but signing custody papers & finally handing him over to his parents crushed me. But its all worth it if you know you cant take care of them & exp. if the father walked out. My son is with the best parents ever. They have to go through so much screenings and classes. Well with the agency I chose. They also have little autobiographies that they put together.

If you dont think you can take care of your child & you dont know if you can take care of it & you always question well I can IF ONLY... I would put it in major consideration.

It will be very depressing & all but Its worth knowing that you wont put your child through hell if you couldnt take care of him/her.

Plus you give a couple what they cant have.

What I looked for was How long they were married their ages & if they had other children. & who was most like me.

below is the place I used they are very nice. They take their time with you & will help you with even a counsler to see if adoption is for you or not.

I hope I helped.

Ihttp://www.giftoflifeadoptions.com/

tish_part deux

to the poster...

i think you should give this more thought. adoption is not something to be entered into lightly. many women (myself included) made adoption plans, yet realized that giving away our children was not the best.

since i can not tell you what to do, i'd strongly advise you to continue your education on adoption, before making a decision. contrary to what some believe (usually those who've never been pregnant, placed a baby, nor made an adoption plan), giving away your child is not a simple, loving, thing to do.

but...if you do decide, please realize a few things:

-in the eyes of adoption agencies, you are a "birthmother"...your purpose, is to stay pregnant so that another can have your baby. they are usually not concerned with helping you work out your issues and ambivalence. as a matter of fact, the same "counselor" that you'd have would also be working for the adoptive parents. this "counselor" gets paid based on the income from placed babies... in other words, if you are the least bit ambivalent, you will be "counseled" that the only option for you is to give up your baby.

-open adoption is not legally enforceable. as a matter of fact, there are infertility boards who support mothers closing adoptions. there's even a "how to" guide that gives step by step instructions on how to close an adoption. realize, that most of these "reason" are trump up excuses because the aparent simply doesn't want you around.

http://www.ehow.com/how_2282502_close-semiopen-adoption.html

-your child may have significant issues due to adoption.

i just think you need to go into this with your eyes wide open.

mandy

Hun, I am glad you aren't considering abortion. But adoption...please think it all through. Yes, there are many websites that will tell you that you aren't good enough or that you will be "giving the gift of life," but I can promise you that the pain, loss, and the hole in your heart from giving your child up is going to be so severe and you will never feel like the same person again. You will feel so lost and empty. This is your choice, and you may not feel this way, depending on you and your situation. But after my baby was adopted at 10 months old ...even to my sister...the pain is immense. This is something those websites won't tell you. Also, they make the adoptive couples pay a mega amount of money and you...you get nothing. You get emptiness. They even promise you pics and letters...my friend used an agency and she got one pic and then the agency acted like she no longer existed.

Lori A

Sorry I don't believe in pre birth matching.

sweets

I would like to give you some incuragement. I think it is selfless to give up a child. I gave up my son. I found this web site for you it is www.UnplannedBaby.com I hope it gives u the answers u need and remember you are smarter than u think and stronger than u look.

the ladybug

try the independent adoption agency.. i dont know the actual website.. but theyre really helpful and wont pressure either way.. i know from experience!! everything is confidential and also its an (open adoption) agency opposed to closed.. which means you'll know where your child is.. and you'll be able to see the child once a years and also send and receive photos.. that might not be what your interested in.. it worked for me!!

M~K

I posted something similar to this a few weeks ago. It depends on what state you live in. But you can always google 'adoption agencies in', then your state. I've been able to see some profiles that way. You can always contact agencies and actually get a meeting with them and talk in more detail with them. I am doing adoption when I have my baby in April and I'm lucky enough to have access to 2 different lawyers who will deal with the adoption. I believe it's called a private adoption process? Not going through an agency. Anyway, good luck to you! Please don't let anyone tell you that you're "abandoning" your baby if you can't keep it and want to do adoption. You're holding a life in your hands right now and when you choose to do adoption, you know it's going to be hard but it's for the best. You have the chance to have more kids in the future whereas the couple that you choose cannot ever have that chance. They never even get a shot at it. By doing adoption, you're giving them that chance. And to do it from birth is wonderful! Those parents won't be able to thank you enough for the rest of their lives for the gift that you're going to give them. Just remember that that. It made it a little easier for me at least. Again, good luck to you!

romeochewy

I placed my child 16 years ago, and never regretted it.
I know for a fact she is MUCH better off than she would have been with me--and no, I am not talking financially!!!

Here are my suggestions:
Do research.
Talk to lots of people on both sides.
Make a pro and con list.
Look inot your own heart--are you emotionally and mentally ready for a baby?
Research the financial aspect of it--if money is the only reason you are thinking about placing your baby--you most likely will regret it.
Never be afraid to ask questions.
Meet with more than one prospective parent--don't be afraid to ask questions. But if you do this, please make sure you tell them up front you have not made up your mind yet.
Don't be afraid to change your mind--every day during the pregnancy, even.
Go to parenting classes--gives you a better idea what to expect.
Most importantly--whatever your decision--get group or individual counseling.

Overall, take everything you read and hear into consideration, but make YOUR OWN decision

Nancy M

parentprofiles.com and parentprofiles.org are both great sites with many loving families and individuals looking for a child to build their families. Good luck with your decision on whether to parent or entrust another family with your child.

kajindelite

being that i'm not a mother except for 3 wonderful step children and a grand baby...you have the greatest gift of all ...having children...i cant do that! you say you thinking of giving up for adoption..think twice before you do that..i'm 41 and who would have thought my first pregnancy at 18 was my last due to miscarriage please reconsider yea i know there are people like me that would love to adopt but this maybe your last child..

FeatherHead

Don't ask us about such an important decision...get in touch with an adoption organization for counsel and advice...

bananarama

I was adopted and went through and emotianal roller coaster as a child because of it but i can honestly say i thank my mother for giving me the oppertunity to have a life she could not have givin me. If you do decide to adopt out then please be sure your doing it for the right reasons and not because you just dont feel like a child right now

Baby Tommy born 1/13/09!

www.adoption.com

You can find out info on open adoptions, closed adoptions, etc. Also, you can get info on agencies where you can browse potential parents, etc. Also, in your area there may be private lawyers who arrange adoptions and can make sure all of your expenses are FULLY covered. I congratulate you on educating yourself and making the best choice for you. I'm sure you'll make the best decision for your life and the baby's. Good luck!!!

Independ"ant"

http://www.amfor.net/KillerAdopters/

http://www.amfor.net/Adopters.html

sagebrush46

I apologize for the mean answers you have received to this very personal question. As an OB nurse I have taken care of many mothers who were adopting out. There are different kinds of adoptions. You can decide if you want an open adoption where you can get pictures and letters you stay updated on your child. Some people even have visitation rights. Others do not want to be in the child's life. These things can be worked out with the adoption agency and/or attorney. Be aware though, that the adoption attorney is hired by the adopting parents. You have to have your own attorney.
The first thing you should do is discuss this with your doctor. They often know of parents wanting to adopt or can refer you to a reputable agency.
My experience has been that the adopting couples and their families are thrilled to get a baby. It is like a dream come true for them.
It is a very difficult decision for a woman to make so you have to be sure it's what you want to do for yourself and your child.
A woman who is adopting out is giving out of love, she is not abandoning the baby.

yeah, here it is:
http://www.americanadoptions.com/family_profile/browse?offset=120&OVRAW=adoption%20profiles&OVKEY=family%20profile&OVMTC=advanced&OVADID=36093160011&OVKWID=253169337511&ysmwa=QY9Ajyynb22Vb_JRGhlLBBR7wzzbNSbFa7ztpFCv8_FRGVSfenpWenmD8fzyl8cW

hope this helped! good luck!

Jade D

give me your baby. i have 2 boys and being a mother is the best thing in the world

Esther

Bethany is a great place,
http://www.impregnant.org/index.php/adoption

wannabe_mommy1100

i know some people who are wanting to adopt and would be a good parents... if you want to you can e-mail me

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