Please share some coersion techniques?

Isabel A

This is very long, I'm sorry.

My mother was "counseled" while pregnant with me in that she was sat in the room and asked questions about her background and heritage. When she became engaged to my biological father, her caseworker told her she would "ruin her life" getting married so young and keeping me.

My paperwork has a document that was to be given to the hospital saying that she wanted to hold me and spend as much time with me as possible after I was born. Her caseworker's signature is on that paper. When it came time for her to give birth to me after two days of labor, a gas mask was placed over her face against her will and she was knocked out. When she awoke, I was gone. She begged to see me and was told that her caseworker was unavailable. I have documentation that proves otherwise. My mother's caseworker was present but deliberately did not respond to my mother's pleas. My mother was not allowed to see me until the next day when the nurses finally relented because she would not give up her demands to see me.
She decided to keep me until learning that her mother was gravely ill. A family member who had abused her in the past ordered her to relinquish me and then drove to the city of my birth and forced her to sign the papers. My mother was still not willing to relinquish without the promise that I would not go to foster care. The caseworker made that promised and then sent me to foster care within hours of my mother signing the papers. I spent three months there. Three months in which my foster parents drugged me whenever I cried. They wrote it all out in a letter to my adoptive mother. I have it. They gave me pills whenever I fussed or cried for three months.
In the meantime, the adoption agency was very busy terminating my mother's right behind her back. They called for emergency sessions to terminate her revocation period early because, and I quote, my mother was "selfish" and "insecure" enough to change her mind.
The agency was ordered to notify my mother of the emergency termination via registered letter which they deliberately sent to a vacated address. Her family had moved over the summer and the agency had the new address but they sent it to the vacated one on purpose. She never got that letter.

The kicker is that I was placed with my adoptive family almost immediately after my mother's rights were terminated once and for all and the wardship was granted to the agency. But the agency didn't bother to tell my aparents that I was their ward and that they were collecting state support off of me. This money was never given to my aparents who took on full financial support of me once I was placed. So the agency made money off of me for almost two years, in fact since my wardship had been done secretly in a different county court, it wasn't actually terminated until three months after my adoption was finalized. So what was I for those three months? A ward or an adoptee? Who cares as long as the agency made money, right?

So in my situation, my mother was coerced, my aparents were deceived and I was fleeced for child support. Pretty sick if you ask me.

Now this was back in the seventies mind you and I hope that there are not cases like mine out there but that is my story. It was pretty shocking to learn in my thirties that everything about my adoption was a lie but it was. I try not to be bitter about it but that caseworker had better hope she never meets me and any of my parents. She's got some explaining to do.

amyburt40

My mother was tied to her bed and maybe even blindfolded to keep her from seeing me. She was told that only two parents would be the best. She was told that she was not a mother unless she was married.

I know of a couple of mothers who were threatened with financial reprecussions. They would be sued if they didn't relinquish their child. A woman who has a crisis pregnancy is called a "birthmother" before she has even decided to place. I know some women are hounded until they do relinquish. Many times women don't realize that abortion and adoption are permanent solutions to a temporary situation. No one wants to provide help to women.

Thanks for asking a good question.

Gershom

Heres a post from a blog I co-blog at that I wrote on coersion i'll just copy and paste it here cause i think its appropriate:

Thought Coercion:

In all forms of thought coercion the immediate objective is to force other people to act as if their basic choice rules were identical to those of the coercing party. However, this mere conformity of â€œoutwardâ€ behaviour is but a first step. The true and final aim of thought coercion is to induce a change in the victimâ€™s objective function itself, i.e. the basic set of values and rules by which the victim determines his or her own choice among the alternatives of any feasible set. Thought coercion is thus generally meant to be only temporary. Once the desired change in values has been brought about, the victim is expected to conform spontaneously, without any need for further coercion.

Whether and under what conditions this final aim can in fact be stably achieved is a difficult question, and it will be considered in the section devoted to the effects of coercion. Here it is necessary to point out that, whatever its effectiveness, thought coercion has in fact been used very extensively throughout history.â€

This article is a perfect example of modern day thought coercion going on in pregnancy counselors offices in Illinois. This is the Illinois orientation of pregnancy counselors twords adoption (http://antiadoption.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/adoption-brainwashing-in-illinois.pdf it gets REALLY good at page 5 ). Iâ€™ve been sitting here for the last 20 minutes trying to figure out which paragraph to add in here, because there are so many relative examples, I canâ€™t decide which is best. My advice is to just download the entire 9 pages and read it for yourself.

The Adoption Show has many educational segments on their site that I urge all readers concerned with modern day coercion in adoption to listen to. In specifically one on Coercion post BSE w/ guest speakers Claudia Corrigan Sheeley and Laurie Frisch.

Parents are all over the headlines fighting to parent their children. (Allison Quets, Carmen McDonald, Cody Oâ€™Dea, Jonelle, Rashad Head, Saskatoon Dad that canâ€™t be named, Stephanie Bennett )

Adoption voices and activists are also exposing the revealing truths about modern day coercion (Exiled Mothers, Origins Canada, Lifemothers .)

I can think of one adoptive mother Susan Burns who produced a book Fast Track Adoption, about how to soothe and coerce an expecting mother out of her child. When her adopted childâ€™s natural mother accidentally found the book, Cindy Jordan ( the first mother ) took her life. I remember the day this happened, her friends, the whole adoption on-line community grieved and still grieve. Need I repeat myself, she took her LIFE after discovering she had been coerced by her daughters adoptive parents ( if they even deserve that title, but I will use it to clearly clarify exactly who iâ€™m talking about.)

There are bloggers through out the web who have been victims of coercion in modern day adoptions. Some have silenced voices, because they are still bound to open adoption agreements just to see their children that have been adopted into different families.

Its all over the place, but it has taken on different forms than the Baby Scoop Era coercions of forcing mothers into unwed homes and forcing them from their babies and sending them home childless. Coercion has taken on a brainwashing approach to expecting mothers that is feeding into the demand of infertile couples wanting a newborn infant to adopt compared to the hundreds of thousands of children languishing in foster care thanks to the Adoption and Safe Families Act. Which allowed the legal family ties to be cut on children in foster care longer than 15 out of 22 months. Although adoptions were already on the rise, this same act produced financial bonuses for each year that the adoption numbers improved/increased.

Although the national parental termination rates doubled in the next two years following this act, ( according to the estimates per the National Information Adoption Clearinghouse in Washington DC ) the time to adopt children increased as well. On top of that, states were and are STILL having a hard time placing foster care children into homes, because grown foster children arenâ€™t whats being demanded.

The Adoption and Safe Families Act has provided financial incentive for adoptions, but it does not specify which adoptions, it has not provided priority on the children who NEED the homes. Instead it has supported the financially motivated industry built on providing babies for infertile couples willing to pay thousands in misc. feeâ€™s in exchange for a child.

It has helped to develop coercion tactics in agencies, it has brought to the headlines parents fighting to parent, it has created thousands and thousands of unnecessary separations in families.

Adoption is supposed to be about the children. Children and their families first, families wanting a child via adoption second. Adoption is NOT about fulfilling the needs of couples WANTING a child, its about providing a home for a child who needs one. WHO NEEDS ONE.

Coercion shouldnâ€™t even exist in adoption, but it did yesterday, it does today and will tomorrow until its exposed and put to an end.

Andraya

I can't even type through the tears. OMG the stories here are heart wrenching.

My story is one of two choices, relinquish or be terminated as his mother. I had NO choice, I couldn't cause him to live his entire life in foster care. I guess I can't say it was a coerced adoption, it was a forced adoption.

tish

-i was told that most black college-bound girls have abortions. poor black girls chose to be single parents, are on drugs, have sick babies or don't "match well." hence, i was the "last chance" for this couple.

-when i decided to change my mind, i was accused of only reacting to the hormones.

-when i decided to change my mind, i was threatened that the paper i signed (a release of medical records) was binding, and i couldn't just "breech the contract."

-at the hospital, i was depressed and spoke with a hospital counselor. after my son's birth, i was contacted daily by he agency. when i disclosed that i'd spoken to someone and was sure that i wanted to parent, i was told, "you really need to speak to OUR counselor about this. the hospital counselors are not experts on birthmother issues."

i can go on if you'd like...

grapesgum

Single/young mothers are targeted in hospitals. Nurses who are trolling for babies for their friends tip off social workers that a single mother has given birth. The nurse will try to keep the baby from the mother for feeding and will confront her about her ability to parent. The social worker pays a visit to the mother and tries to tell her that she is not fit to parent. The social worker tries to block the birth certificate by losing paperwork over the course of a 9-month period. The mother is reported to the county and told to be "watched".

At the time, the mother was openly supported by her family, had medical insurance, and was a non-drinking, non-smoking, drug-free college student.

BPD Wife

Our story is very similar to yours. When we were adopting our son, he was in kinship care with his bio grandparents. They told the state that they could only care for him temporarily because of their age and health. When it became evident that the bio parents wanted nothing to do with changing their ways, the state told them & the bio grandparents that because the child had a life-threatening disorder, they would make out better finding someone to adopt him privately. They did that and chose us. As we were going through the process, the state "changed their minds" and decided that they were going to place him into foster care for the purpose of adoption. As the state case worker told us "he was a caucasian infant which made him a hot commodity" for them. I believe at that point the state became more focused on stopping the adoption than what would benefit the child or what the bio family wanted.

AdoreHim

I am adopted and have 2 adopted kids- and I want to share what the birth mom of our son said, about why she selected us- she did not select us because we were rich- in our bios we shared that we weren't. We did have a house, but we had no savings. If the attorney told her that most couples were rich, and if she had been coerced she would not have selected us- she selected us because we looked like a very down to earth family, that type of family she was from. So granted I am not saying coercion does not happen, but please let us also say that adoption for both the birth mom and the adoptees and adopted families can be positive.

mommaknowsbest

Unfortunately coersion happens with unscrupulous agencies and people in adoption. It is not only illegal but if the judge who hears the case for the adoption believes it to be coercion in any form for any adoption it will not be granted and the person(s) that are doing the coercion can go to jail.
If you suspect that an agency you are working with is guilty of coercion for some reason and have proof you should consult with an adoption attorney right away.
Coercion can be:
* bribes to the biological parent in the form of expensive gifts, money or other things.
* promising the biological family things you do not intend to make good on after the finalization of the adoption.

Legally however an adoptive family can help with medical care and expenses as well as medications or living expenses (such as rent) during a pregnancy or until the adoption is finalized if needed by a biological parent placing a child into an adoption plan with a family. There are no laws against this in any of the 50 US states. It is because of coercion situations that good attorney's and agencies who are on the up and up will tell you it is not a good idea to buy lavish "thank you" gifts or the like for the biological parents because it can be construed as bribery and coercion.

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