Question about Adoptive Dads With Asian Adoptees?

Randy B

If we spend time worrying about everyone else's fetishes then we would not be able to adopt Asian children, children in diapers, disabled children, blond haired children, red hair children, teen girls, pre-teen girls, teen boys, pre-teen boys, light skinned children, dark skinned children..... Pick a fetish.

I certainly don't worry about any of it and if anyone had the nerve to ask me about it they would get straighted out right quick. There would be no doubt in their minds what so ever as to where I stood on the subject. I can't let a few other people's problems become mine and my children's.

Kazi

My hubby's sitting next to me, so I'm typing his response. Our daughter is from China and is a few days shy of 4. Like Randy said, you cannot waste precious time getting into the sick recesses of certain skeevey perves. There is a fetish for everything.

That being said, he has noticed that when he is out at an unfamiliar place with just him and our daughter, he does get quite a few looks. Though he says they are mostly adoring looks from women who have a thing for men who are obviously good dads.

He also admits that there are other looks from mostly men and some women that look concerned, particularly if she is in tantrum mode. He's said before that he did see a few faces that didn't seem to know what to do as they watched a white man drag away a tiny Asian girl.

But then, I think men get these looks regardless of the race of the child. Our society does tend to look at men through dirty glasses, as they may be potential molesters. Sad, but sometimes necessary.

No one has come up to him though and if they did, he said he'd be cool about it and explain she was his daughter.

Ultimately, he doesn't care what strangers think. His main concern is always the safety and comfort of both of his children.

HappyMomAnna

Of all the questions I have seen this one is by far the most offensive. Seriously. I mean this with all my heart but only someone with a sick mind could actually make such an obscene remark.

Funny, however since my daddy (bio) is only 16 years older then me We had several experiences in public where people thought I was his young girl friend! And my brother's wife is 4 foot 10 and he has been hassled by the police more then once for "being with a minor"...

Get real--honestly.

Maybe I should ask, Daughters who were Kept by their teenage parents when you developed and started to ware a bra did people ask if your dad was your boyfriend?

Maybe someone should be helping all the Young Dads consider what they will look like when they take their 15 year old daughter out to lunch one day when he's just barely turned 30?

Erin L

This is EXACTLY the kind of thing adoption education needs to prepare pap's for when adopting transracially. Some white parents are clueless about the Asian girl fettish thing/ stereotype, or are clueless and unprepared for how to deal with it. Some white parents of adopted Black children aren't even prepared for things that are necessary for their child's physical safety, and certainly not psychological well-being. It's really usually very neglected. We didn't get any education on these issues in our adoption education. However, my husband's family is Asian, so I've heard stories of Asian women stereotyping from my sisters-in-law or I doubt I'd know much either, not that I know everything. But, I think my daughter has some resources in a fairly understanding mom and aunts. The woman featured in Adopted: the Movie talkds about this kind of thing and it is enlightening.

Roberta P

I never thought about that situation but I do worry about teens and men wanting to date them because of asian fetishes.

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