Question about adoption consent?

julie j

Hi Atxgirly,

Your understanding is correct in theory, that in order for a baby to be relinquished for adoption, both parents must voluntarily sign away their parental rights or a court must officially terminate those rights.

In practice, the mother-to-be can make it difficult for your brother to claim his parental rights. For instance if she goes to certain adoption agencies, they will work with her to circumvent his rights. They do this by moving her to another state to give birth. (Utah is a popular place for them to move pregnant women, as both parents have fewer rights there.) They may even advise her to say the father of the baby is unknown.

You don't mention what state your brother resides in. I would suggest that if it's one with a putative father's registry, he sign up immediately. He might want to consider a DNA test after the birth. He should also establish that he is making every possible effort to take care of the expectant mother and the future child. He should stay in contact with her, offer to take her to doctor visits, ask if there's anything she needs. He should document all the related things he does, dates it occurred, etc. as well as what she says and does. He may need that someday.

If she intends to relinquish her own parental rights, he should make his desires known that he intends to parent. He should have a job to support the baby and get a room ready for the baby. It wouldn't hurt for him to start learning the basics of taking care of a baby either. He should have arrangements made with family or others to provide child care. It can be done. It's great that you and your family intend to help him.

Things can happen fast. Don't let time be his enemy. Even if his parental rights were terminated, family will be considered before a stranger adoption, so members of your family may still be able to gain custody of the child if the mother is not interested in raising her child. One more thing I might mention is that some women consider adoption while pregnant and then change their mind & decide to parent once the child is here. Your brother should be prepared to apply for joint custody if it comes down to that.

Thanks for caring enough to keep the child in the family. Too many are unnecessarily lost to adoption. Good luck,

julie j
reunited adoptee

Robin

Sadly, fathers' rights vary from state to state. In many states, fathers do not have the right to custody of their own children nor any say in the adoption unless they know about & sign a "Putative Fathers Registry" claiming fatherhood within the strict time limits given (also varies by state).

The law doesn't provide a father with a guarantee to parental rights. Signing the registry is a legal step in that direction. A father must also show he has made an effort to help support his child - hard to do when the child isn't yet born. A criminal record alone does not mean your brother is unfit. Encourage your brother to follow Julie's advice about having a job, preparing to parent this child, proving support, etc. Hopefully he can show he has extended family support, also.

To look at the putative registry in YOUR state, check out this link:
http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/state/

For more detailed info by state, check this link:
http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/consentall.pdf

Also, here's the link to Fathers Supporting Fathers
http://fatherssupportingfathers.org/

Counsel your brother to be kind and supportive to the girl/woman. Never threaten her with taking the child away. She is, after all, the mother of his child. Having mental health issues doesn't make her a bad person/mother. She needs emotional support, too. Tell him not to let himself get baited into arguments. Hopefully they can work out an agreement that is good for everyone.

In the meantime, have him find out about the putative father's registry in your state and seek the legal help he needs to step up and be a father to his child.

Good bless your brother, the young mom-to-be & the baby!
Good luck!

sam22254

There is alot of things your brother better do now. Support this girl, send money orders, clothes and what ever he can help her with. Then he needs to file for claim even before the baby is born. These days your brother needs to file in the states that surround where you live and Utah. There are a few adoption agencies that will go out of there way to hid the baby. How to file Look on the Internet and find the father's registry in your state. Now since I have told you how to stop a adoption make sure this is what your brother wants because there is a good chance that he will get to keep his child and children are gifts from god and he will have to be responsible for this child. My son has been fighting to have his son returned after the birth mother hid the fact that she was caring his child(she was living with another man) She gave the child to her new boyfriend family. But he did file for his child with in the state time limit. That stops the adoption but the battle is still going on he has visitaion with his son until court gets over.

Camira B

Oh God. Not again! This is ridiculous.

Like all the others have said, he needs to sign up with the state Putative Father Register. It may sound crazy, but I would have him sign up in all surrounding states also. Better safe than sorry.
He needs to find out if she is already working with an agency. If she is, have him write to them letting them know that he intends to parent his child and assert his rights. Send it by certified mail as proof that they got it.
He needs to buy things for the baby. Save receipts and have him go with a friend to her house to give her the items. That way, even if she refuses to take them, he will have a witness that he tried and was rebuffed. Also, if he can help pay for prenatal care, that makes a huge difference.
Finally, I would have a Family Law Attorney in place so that he's ready if she does try something. I do agree, however, that he should be supportive and never hostile because (a) she may have a change of heart and (b) It will look better in the event that court is necessary.
Ridiculous how much fathers have to do to protect the rights to THEIR children.

wolf

An adoption is not legal until both parents have consented to the adoption. If one parent doesn't consent to the adoption, or the mother lies and says there is no father, and the father finds out later he has a child, then he can go to court, get a DNA test done to prove he is the father of the child, and the adoption will be nullified. Anyone who puts a child into adoption without the consent of both parents is on grounds for losing their license.

cmc

I don't believe she can do it without his consent if she tells the truth. If she lies about it the adoption will be at risk. Does your brother want to parent the child on his own? Even if he did think adoption would be best, he should be included in the decision. It would probably be in his best interest to contact someone familiar with adoption law in your state.

GEE-GEE

That is absolutely true. Your brother should go fight for full custody now. If she is threatening to put the baby up for adoption then obviously she does not want the baby. If he can prove she is going to do this than he may be able to get full custody now.

sizesmith

He should have already signed with the punitive father registry, and he needs to put in a statement now for it (at the county clerk's office), stating that he is the father of (baby's full name and date of birth), and that he asserts his rights, and he'll have to prove that he is helping with the support of the baby, even if it's keeping receipts for diapers that he's bought for the baby. Good luck, and it's great he's turning his life around.

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