Question for Adoptive parents & Prospective adoptive parents -?

spydermomma

Not sure I understand your question? Why are we trying to define this? What is the context? What is a successful person? Lots of different definitions of that also. Some would include financial success, some would not include that at all.
There are a lot of possible "unsuccessful" adoptions, and also many different possibilities of success, but to define them is pretty hard.

Ideally in adoption, all involved would feel satisfied with the adoption and ongoing relationships. That would include the child, the adoptive parents, the first parents (or birth parents), and also grandparents (of both sets of parents), siblings, etc. This is pretty hard in the real world, I think. Could it be "successful" without that? Sure, depending on your definition of "success."
I am very happy as an adoptive mom, and so far my daughter is very happy, but she's only 3. We don't have any relationship with her first family or her second (she was fostered for 13 months), because they are in a different country that doesn't really allow that. I find that very sad and I wonder sometimes if we did the right thing. But I think we are a wonderful family and she would have been adopted by someone else from another country if not by us. So I try to be as good a mom as I can, while letting myself off the hook of being perfect. I try to listen to adult adoptees and learn from them about challenges my daughter may face as she grows up--and how not to screw up too horribly. And I try to listen to first parents as well, because they hold some kernels of truth that my daughter may want.

Will we be "successful"? Time will tell, I suppose. I don't really think there is such a thing as permanant "success" because that kind of implies that something is completed, and I see it as an ongoing process.

Amie M

A Successful Adoption is where everyone keeps their word!!!! If you tell the brith mom you are going to keep an open adoption then keep it open. Let her write the baby and send the pictures. If you promise to let her see the baby once or twice a year then do it. An adoption is to make a family happy that includes the bio mom. I am so tired of hearing adoption is a LIE and all that because there are so many famlies that adopt that dont keep their promise. We all know that kids that are adopted need loving homes. But, sometimes we all get caught up in whats going on and froget about the bio mom. So, maybe if we all can keep our word on things then maybe one all can be successful.

Angela R

I think a successful adoption is when the child has a happy, safe, and loving childhood, and grows up into a secure, well adjusted adult. When the adoptee has been able to deal with any issues reguarding their adoption, and feels loved by both his adoptive parents and first parents.

I think this is what both sets of parents hope for when the child is first born.

Adoptive Father

In my opinion, a successful adoption is when the adoption is what is best for all. If the biological parents cannot care for a child for whatever reason they then choose a loving, stable home for the child. The child has parents who are ready, willing and able to care for the child. The adoptive parents give love to and receive love from the child.

Amy B

A successful adoption is when a birth mother follows through with her adoption plan and legally places the child with the adoptive couple of her choice. The adoptive couple then take the child and love it as they would a biological child and do everything they can to be the kind of parents the child deserves to have. The birth mother and the adoptive couple and adoptee have a close relationship and keep in contact. The adoptee is in a situation where it is comfortable and safe for them to address any issues they might have with their adoption and get the help they need to work through those issues and accept their adoption.

The birth mother loves her child, and because she loves her child she wants the child to have all that it deserves, even if she is not the one that can give it. The child grows up happy -- loved and accepted fully by its adoptive parents and knowing about it's birth mother and heritage. The birth mother and the adoptee may meet and form a relationship, if both parties so desire. Adoptive parents are secure enough to encourage the adoptee to meet their birth mother if they desire and adoptive parents are secure enough not to feel threatened by it.

mamulechka

One where I have succeeded in legally adopting a child.
And then successfully raising him.

I'm not sure you define a "Successful adoption"
People and their relationships are constantly evolving and an adoptee who had no "issues" with their adoption growing up could later on determine that certain aspects of their life were negatively affected by adoption and other adoptees may not feel this way at all or may not ever realize it.
Not sure this makes sense.

Mom to Foster Children

I guess to me it would be...

An adoption of a child to a family who will love and care for the child like they were their own forever and ever.

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depends on how old the children are i suppose.. if your adpoting teens or children who are old enough to know whats going on i would say getting along with them and being able to parent them even a little is good..

Tazz

Successful Adoption? Is one where everyone goes home happy. The adopting parents get the baby or child they wanted, the child gets the loving home it needs and the birth parent/parents are accepting of thier role and are are happy for the family they helped create. And of course no one tries to go back on the deal.

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