Question for birthmothers...?

LaurieDB

My first parents named me Laurie, but they also raised me for the first year of life.

However, I don't think that having baby boy/baby girl on the birth record is a "no reunion sign." Here's why.

At one time, first parents didn't always get an opportunity to name their child. Some first parents have stated that relinquishing was so painful that they didn't name their child.

You also have to keep in mind that even some first parents who relinquished with the idea that they may not reunite (whether that was what they wanted or not,) can feel quite differently 20 years later.

eharrah1

My name from my birth mother was Gwendolyn Ann Wolfe. In fact, she still calls me Gwendolyn, even now. The agency called me Baby Cathy (where that's from who knows). The agency likes to make it as hard as possible for us adoptees to find our rightful parents.

Andraya

My name at birth was baby girl. My mom started searching for me the day I turned 18. She was told she shouldn't name me by the hospital nurses, since I wasn't really hers...

My son's name was and is Justin Gage and I want to meet him desperately.

P D

Baby girl/baby boy are definitely NOT a 'no reunion' sign. Some mothers didn't have the chance to name their baby.

Some mothers were given the opportunity to fill out registration papers for their child and therefore pick out a name for them, but some had their babies hustled out of the room without even knowing if ithey had a boy or a girl. So they didn't have a chance to name their child except in their own mind.

I named my son and he was quite happy to hear his first names - Keith Martin - when we reunited... and learn why I chose those names.

So... my answer is "no", it is not a giant no reunion sign!

snowwillow20

I was told not to name her, her parents would name her. I had a name in my heart. Not naming her was definately not a giant no reunion sign.

red&sassy

NO, IT IS NOT A "NO REUNION" SIGN. I don't know when you were born, but there could be alot of reasons for that. I am a first mom.

"Lauren's" first mom... would really like to have a reunion
Sam's mom

MulattoWoman

My name at birth was Jessica Leah-Ann Peterson and after I was adopted they only changed the middle name and last name to Katlyn Stapledon. I recently gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy, on monday actually, and planned on placing him for an open adoption which had been "arranged" since about 7 weeks into my pregnancy without any legal papers signed of course. These people are my friends and even though I am contemplating getting him back they are planning on changing his name from Taye Makaio to Max Makaio but I did place his name on his birth certificate and they will have to legally change that if they keep him. To answer your question, I don't think that not naming your child is a sign of not wanting a reunion in the future, I just think maybe it was a way to try and save yourself a little more heartache. I am tattooing his name on my body alongside of his brothers and sisters names that already are there (they are with me) but I am going with his original name Taye and not Max. I hope this helps you even a little bit!

lahdh4

It is not a giant "No Reunion" sign.

We had the option to name our daughter but we were told the more than likely they would change her name. So while we had a name for her, she left the hospital as Baby Girl H. I will not ever use that name because it is hers, even if she is going with a common name and not an individual name as she is an individual.

sunny

It's not a sign at all.

It's whatever the maternity home/agency told these mothers to do. Probably depends on the state, too. My mother wanted to name me one name, say Stephanie, but the Crittendon Home employees told her to 'save' that name for her future daughter, (that she never had) the one she would keep. So she named me after her sisters--first & middle names.

I know a lot of adoptees who have their natural father's listed on the original birth certificate, but for me there is none. My parents were boyfriend/girlfriend for over 10 yrs. So it's not like she didn't know who he was. She was told to leave the space blank for whatever reason.

I think women who are giving children up for adoption are not in a place of empowerment or choice--they do what they're told--whatever is done at the time, or place of the birth.

You might want to read 'The Girls who Went Away' by Ann Fessler. A lot would be explained for you in that book. Your library probably has a copy.

Good luck with your search!

amber4176

Honey you are no bother at all, if you need to ask questions like yours you do it and as for changing names, well I had one bilogical child a girl and she was getting a little older and wanted a brother or sister and so I kept foster children all the time so I had good access to a lot of children and gave them shelter and food and most of all the love that they didn't get at home, I took these children on vacation out of state places they had never thought of being and they were very happy and some of them went back home to their mom's and some were adopted and of course people ask me all the time how can you give them up after keeping them for awhile and my answer to them was I was in it for the children and to see the joy and happiness as they got to do things that they had never done before and go to the mall and different things like that is is worth me hurting just to help them, sure I missed them but I did show them love and took them to church and ask God to watch over them where ever they went. Well and as far as adoption I did adopt 2 beautiful girls they were 4 and 6 and I have 3 girls now my biological daghter is 32 and one I adopted is 21 and the other is 23 and they are the most important people in my life alone with my 3 grandchildren from the oldest child, and I kept their first names that they had I thought about it and they were just too old to try to change their names because they were already use to them and I did change their middle name and gave them my last name and they are very happy girls and they love me as tho I was their biological mother. They have never said anything at all about their mother but they do have siblins that we are gonna try to find. I hope I haven't confused you and hope for the best for you so take care and Happy Easter!!!!!!!!!

Lori A

Rachael is partly right. I didn't name her because the agency told me it would be harder to find her. (my family) They begged me to name her. I also did not want her to grow up and think "well am I bla bla bla or am I rachael" which is what I probably would have named her. I gave that priviledge to her parents, and she turned out to be a rachael anyway's.

Definately NOT a do not want contact sign. Not a I didn't care sign either. Hard to say exactly why in each case, guess you will have to find her and find out. <smile>

rachael

lori (my bmom) said she didnt name me because she was afraid what would happen if some of her family tried to find me. it was a protection for me. but my story is a little different, i think

i would say no way is that a sign of not wanting a reunion. she waited to meet me for years.

she did call me something-rachael. and ironic enough that is a name my friends gave me as a joke years before i found her. kinda odd.

Ladydi

I named my baby on paper and everything. The parents re-named him. I just felt I had to put a name to the face. I am very open with my children and their adopted sibling. We talk about him by name.

Dave F

My wifes baby boy born 5/2/91 was adopted six weeks later through trickery. That said, he was born a Devon Petursson in NY, now called George (we think) Zimbilef Jr in NJ Bparents are F.Petursson & R.Startt and yes both want to see him.

sami

No its not a reunion sign. Usaully parents have there names picked out already, so when the child is born that name is used. But for moms who are putting there child up for adoption they usally don't pick a name cause they feel it is not there child. So the hospital by law needs to give a name to the child, which is usually "baby girl" or "baby boy".
When the child is adopted the name is changed to suit there wishes. I had an open adoption with my daughter, I was only 17 when i had her an felt I was to young to be a mom, so I adopted her out to a loving family, who allowed me to name her "kendra".

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