Questions about BSE records?
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Questions about BSE records?
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I requested my records from the adoption agency, and they arrived today. I have a couple questions.
First, my grandparents were billed almost $400 for room and board, doctor and hospital bill. Was this normal? Do any of you BSE moms know if your parents were billed by the adoption agency who ended up with your baby? I'm sort of shocked.
Second, apparently, my adoption was finalized in the county of my birth instead of the county of my aparents' residence. I already knew this. I didn't know the reason. It was because my amom was worried about the lawyer having an "idol tongue". She didn't want him to have my identifying information. Is my adoption even legal?
Additional Details
FWIW, I received the extremely whitewashed version. It is almost what happened. Almost. It sounds so neat and tidy. There are pieces of the unabridged truth, but I must give them credit for creative writing skills. I'm fairly certain it was the information provided to my aparents. Even the name my mother gave me at birth was whitewashed. It is never mentioned, but each page contains the initials of my name at birth. My father was mentioned by first name only. And the social worker noted, " [My amom] stated that they would borrow the money to pay for [me] if they had to."
Oh dear.
[and 'idol' was stated in context]
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maybe
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I know that my parents paid all the costs for doctors, hospital, etc. Would be interesting to know what the APs paid, or what they thought they were paying for. |
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kitta
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SJM, I have been told that ordinarily babies were adopted in the county or even the state of the natural mother's residence...even if the mother had given birth in a different state. But that didn't always happen, obviously.
Does your natural mother have access to these records also? If not, it is disturbing that personal details of her life can be revealed without her having the same access.
During the BSE, different financial arrangements were made.My parents paid my medical bills directly to our doctor and the hospital
. I went to an agency that offered "help" in the form of temporary care.It advertised itself as a "charity"...funded by grants. This is what I was told when I asked how it was funded.But, hopeful pre-adopters were also paying this agency and I was not told this when I asked.
ETA: sam: no one has to give out their social security number....not a good idea to even suggest that natural parents should have to provide this to anyone.
ETA2:I signed a temporary care contract for my child, offered by the "kindly worker, which the social worker then ripped out of my hands. She took my son and then the phone calls began, threats to "sign a surrender"..or be terminated in court. This was an old BSE strategy which is still in use today. It took me 32 years, but I finally got a copy of that care contract. It says I am still my son's mother.
ETA3:I am thinking that the 400 dollars for room and board might have been because the agency also ran a "home" or provided housing for pregnant women with other families who "took in pregnant girls." This was sometimes arranged through the agency. A pregnant girl would live with a family.The family would get some money and so would the agency. |
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sam22254
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I feel for you. What should happen in adoption is the records should be sealed until the child is 18 then should be opened up for the child. When adoption you get the records medical anyways of the father and mother. There should be record like the natural mother and fathers name and ss number last known address, grandparents names address, sister and brothers ETC. Non of these need to be whitewash
The couple who stole my grandson didn't want him to know anything about his family left behind and that is truly wrong. |
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No Spam
Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
Not English
