Questions about home studies?

I'm looking into adopting from foster care and what I'm worried about is the home study. I've read some of the requirements of national and intl agencies and know I would not be able to qualify.

For the most part my husband and I are law abiding citizens but got into our share of trouble (nothing major) as teenagers. There's no abuse issues, violence, DUIs or other things like that. I had some financial issues and personal issues in which I was in therapy for a while and took antidepressants. Are home studies going to base their decisions on the past (as in past behavior predicts future behavior) or on how things have been going for the last few years?

Also, if they interview family members and the family member says something "wrong" will that affect your chances? My in-laws are immigrants but speak English fluently but have very different views on child rearing than we have and they will play a big role in child care. I also have a disabled mother who gets around okay but won't be able to take care of the child (she lives with us). Would that count as as strike against us?

I'm sure they won't expect perfection, but are they sticklers on certain things other than the obvious? (A room of their own, clothes, education, medical care).

ladybmw1218

If you are honest about your past issues and "youthful indiscretions" and can demonstrate you have resolved whatever led to them, you should probably be fine (as long as they didn't include violence or harming a child). They aren't looking for perfection, they are looking for healthy coping, problem solving, responding, overcoming, grieving etc.

We all have made mistakes, suffered losses, displayed poor judgment, had a bad relationship, and/or made poor choices...the key is do you learn from them and move on, or do you continue in a bad pattern? Do you resolve conflict or stew then blow up? Do you "cope" with compulsive behaviors or in a healthy way?

They want real human beings. Good for you for becoming a foster parent and best of luck.

Good Job

One Anything before 18 is not going to come up on the background check.
Your history of depression just means you need the extra step of going to psychologist.
In our foster to adopt home study they ask for two letter of Reference each from family and two from non family. they never interviewed the actual family.

Randy B

They never expect people to be perfect. Nobody is. Just listen to their questions so that you understand them and be honest and forthcoming about any issues you may have had in the past. If they ask if you have declared bankruptcy in the past 7 years and you did 10 years ago then your answer is "no". If they ask if you have a criminal record and you know that when you were 18 you got boned for shoplifting then answer "yes" and tell them what happened and when. They are going to find out anyway and it would look better for you if you were up front about things then if you get caught lying which will surely disqualify you. For references we only had to give three, two friends who had known us for over 3 years and one family member. The friends were no problem but we used my sister as a family member. Not because we had anything to hide but because we didn't want our family to know we were going through the process till we got approved. Sure, everyone has different opinions on how to raise a child but thats not necessarily what they are going to be asking about. They will want to know how you are as a person, are you responsible, can you care for someone else, are you a good parent (not do they like your parenting style). The questions are not just asked the the answers recorded, they probe and ask follow-up questions too like "why don't you think they are a good parent" and when the answer comes back along the lines of "they don't make the kids clean their plates at meals" or something else they don't like the home study worker will see that for what it is.

As far as your mother is concerned, it shouldn't be a problem either in my opinion. As long as she is not in such a state that it is dangerous for children or she needs so much care from you that you would have trouble looking after (more) children.

Either way, you won't know till you try. Just be open and honest and hope for the best.

rachelrmf@sbcglobal.net

In our home study they asked if we have ever taken antidepressants, and if so you have to go see a doctor and have them clear you mentally. As far as finances they are not looking for rich people, just someone that can provide the basics. Everyone that lives in your home will have to participate in the home study, they will need to get OSBI, FBI, and child abuse checks ran on them. They don't interview family mine sent out 6 letters to random people that I have known for at least 3 years and only two are allowed to be family. All they asked was: Are we responsible, Would you trust your own children in our care, Would you give us your child if your child was up for adoption, really just dumb questions in my opinion.

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