Religion and fostering/adoption?

Does anyone here have any experience of the effect of religion on adopting/ fostering?

I’m Muslim and would like to adopt.

I would consider a private adoption but would prefer to foster-adopt.

I’m worried that it won’t be possible because of my religion.

A friend of mine wanted to foster (just foster not adopt) and did all the courses etc. and never had any children placed with her. She didn’t mind the religion of the children she was willing to help any children and wouldn’t have forced Islam on them. After a year of waiting and a few complaints they finally placed a 16 year old girl with her. She was there for 4 months and it went very well. When the girl returned to her own family my friend expected another child to be placed with her and another one never was. She finally gave up and even though no one ever admitted it, it was obvious that it was because she was a Muslim.

She lives in Florida and I live in Virginia but I’m worried that the same thing will happen to me.

I would consider private adoption but I can see the same problem arising. There may not be any mother’s child with a Muslim family, also my husband was adopted but his mother was forced to give him up and I don’t think I could ever have full faith in a private adoption agency.

I’m worried that if we try to foster adopt no one will want to place a child with a Muslim family or allow us to adopt a child.

I would respect the religion of any child we may adopt. I would raise them in whatever religion their parents chose for them. If they were of no particular religion I wouldn’t force Islam on them.

However I feel that even if I say this it won’t matter and still no child will be placed with us.

Does anyone have any advice or insights into this situation?

Gaia Raain

I'd be willing to bet that our situation is very similar - although I have no way of knowing for sure. I am Pagan and my husband is a non-practicing Christian. So far, the only caseworker who has chosen us as a potential placement for a child was Pagan herself. We've been waiting nearly 2 years.

I've got no advice for you. Just do what you feel is right. It sounds to me like your heart is in the right place. It always warms my heart a little when I hear PAP's recognizing that some mothers don't choose to give their babies away, and I'm glad that you wouldn't participate in anything like that. Best of luck to you.

r s

if you breath, complete the forms, get 3 friends to give references, are a USA citizen, pass the crime and child abuse checks, and have room in your home they will place foster kids in your home....

they for the most part would not care what you do religion wise as long as you don't make the kids attend or participate and that bothers the kids....

we are talking public foster care.... Florida has a lot of private agency now (I think it is all private in Florida now) I bet if she switch to another agency more liberal they'd pack her house full....

(of course there would be many reason people don't get placements like narrow age range acceptance for children, refusing to do visits or transport to Dr.s, refusing to take kids with any behavior problems, having physical limitations, etc...)

there are a lot of private foster programs here as well that turn away a lot of people... but public will take just about anyone

Muff

This situation assumes that she was denied another child based on her religion, that's not right to assume that.

However, in America the muslim faith is not widely accepted. What about checking with other muslim families and seeing if a muslim child needs to be placed. I think it's nice of you to offer to help a child learn about the religion of their preference, instead of forcing your beliefs on them. We all think our religion is "The right one".

Randy B

I did some training with a couple a few weeks ago who have 4 foster children. The couple are both practicing Muslims while at this point in time the children are not.

I asked them what will happen once they adopt (they are planning on adopting at least 2 of the children they are fostering at this time). They said they were going to introduce the children to their religion in the same way that any birth parent would and that it (their religion) had never been an issue through the screening and approval process to foster.

Hopefully the same will be for you.

Also, be aware that in most areas, they may try to place children with you who are of the same religious or ethnic background but that it's not an over riding consideration when it comes to placement. They would rather have loving and stable homes for them.

littleJaina

What other people say about agencies is very true. Some of them are very particular about who they choose to work with. Also, some social workers who do the homestudies just have a chip on their shoulder.

I normally encourgae full honesty when considering foster/adoption, but if you feel like you're gettin discriminated against, maybe you could play down your religion. (I'm not saying you should have to - you SHOULDN'T - but since I'm not doing your homestudy, my opinion doens't matter). Would you ever consider leaving off your head scarf during meeting with this social worker? This can be a touchy subject for some women. However, a woman with a scarf on her head will be instantly viewed differently than a woman without. (Heck, I don't even know if you wear one, but your picture does, so I'm assuming.)

Many social workers will see a muslim woman in jeans and a blouse with a bare head in a completely differently than one in skirts with her head covered. For some reason people often react to the former as, "Normal American woman practicing her family's religion of choice," and the later as, "Freaky fundamentalist woman obviously living a repressed life" even if they are both the same woman! I don't know why it's true, but one of my friends convinced me of it in college. She was treated very differently even by check out clerks in stores when she was wearing her scarf and when she was bare headed. She convinced me to go out with her with my head covered one day and fair haired and blue eyed as I am, people still walked further away from me in the mall and wouldn't meet my eyes the same way, just odd stuff like that! (Mind you, this was all even BEFORE the mess that September 11th made of the view of Muslims in America).

Normally, everyone should just "be themselves" during a homestudy. Unfortunately, if you find you're facing an undeserved bias, you could think about what I said. Good luck! It sounds like you will make excellent foster/adopt parents.

Indian-vision

I feel bad for your friend who was discriminated against due to her religon. From your mail i have no advise but i believe you will make a good FP. Wishing you the best on your journey.

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