Religion requirements for adoption?

My husband and I hope to adopt in the next two to three years and are trying to start the process early because of the time and money involved. I was investigating adoption agencies and was frustrated to find that all of the agencies in my state (OK) requires that the parents be active members of a church or teach Christianity to their children. My husband and I are atheists. While we will not force our child into any religion, we will support our child's decision if he/she decides to follow a particular faith.
Am I the only one who sees the religion requirements as unfair? I feel like these agencies are saying that you can only be a good parent if you're Christian. Its discriminatory. I can still teach my child good morals and social responsibility without church. I was raised in a mixed atheist/Buddhist household and my morals and choices are actually better than my Christian friends.
Does anyone know of an agency that does not require Christianity?
Additional Details
Sunny, we've tried to have a baby for 8 years and it just isn't going to work for us. I can't win either way. If I'm infertile and want IVF, people tell me I'm selfish and should adopt. If I want to adopt, people tell me I'm selfish and should go through foster care. I can't win.

OK was not my first place to live. After graduating, I couldn't find work. So, it was either here or unemployment. I will have to be here for at least another 5 more years and trust me, as an atheist on the buckle of the Bible Belt, its frustrating.

m'smama

The agency that we used (http://www.adoptionnetwork.com/) didn't have any requirements as to how the child would be raised, but it was part of your profile that birth parents would look at. Some birth parents would be looking for a couple who would raise the child with the same faith that they have, or none at all. So there are definitely agencies out there that don't require you to practice a specific religion - just keep looking!

cantstopLinnyG

Foster care.

Randy B

I'd say keep looking for agencies since there are many that don't have any such requirements. In the end though, they are all private companies and they can require anything they want over and above the minimum.

Check adoptions through your local DSS too. They are generally free or very low cost (under $1000) and they are where the most need is.

LORI

Well, I just googled this because I was surprised that the agencies there require people to be Christian to adopt through them. Thats weird IMO.

I did find one agency called Adoption Affiliates that says on their website-
" We have a minimum age requirement, no income restrictions, and do not discriminate on the basis of race, ethnic origin or religion."
http://www.adoptionaffiliates.org/adoptive.html

I found it on this list (tons of agencies in OK), if that is one you've already tried maybe another on the list will work with you?
http://www.myadoptionagencies.com/adoption-search/oklahoma_adoption_agencies.html

BOTZ

As many others here, I am opposed to infant adoption and suggest adopting from foster care.

There are two things that people often believe (you may or may not be one of them) about foster care that need to be dispelled. One, you DON'T have to foster first to adopt from the foster care system. There are over 300,000 children in foster care who are legally free and waiting to be adopted RIGHT NOW. Two, you CAN adopt babies and very young children through foster care. While I always encourage people to adopt older children and teenagers, as they are less likely to be adopted, that doesn't work for everyone.

Adopting from foster care does not carry any requirement of expectation of religious affiliation. Indeed, it would be illegal as a violation of separation of church and state. Many of the agencies you have seen with religious requirements are probably run by, or at least sponsored by, a specific church.

I was born to a non-denominational Christian mother and a non-religious father who is American Indian and follows the beliefs and teachings of his (our) Native tribe.

I was adopted through LDS Social Services and, consequently, raised in the mormon church as they ONLY allow active LDS couples to adopt through them (yet, they will TAKE a child from anyone for the purpose of adopting them to mormon couples).

I feel your pain, truly I do, but as long as an agency is private and receives no money from the government, they can set any requirements that they wish.

Incidentally, I have chosen to follow the religious persuasions of my natural mother (non-denominational Christian) rather than that of my adoptive home. And my husband is an atheist in Utah, so we understand the constant discrimination that takes place. You're in the bible belt, we're in "mormon central". Why do we stay? Jobs, family, etc. just like you.

Take care!

durdenslabs

Why don't you adopt from the foster system?

You don't have to foster a child and you don't have to do IVF.

Adopting from the foster system is easier (no religious requirements) and cheaper ($0 - $2,500). You can adopt an infant, older child or teen...single or sibling group.

Contact your local dept of social services (or family services) and get started by going to the adoption orientation meeting. Once you've done that you should be approved as an adoptive parent (pending background checks, physicals, homestudy, etc) within 6 months. You should only have to wait up to 1 year to have a child placed with you *usually sooner*.

HappyMomAnna

Our children were adopted from foster care and their mother was asked what was important to her--Her first request was specifically religion... and she had her rights taken away from her by the state.

As the mother of our children she had the right to still offer her input, and it made her feel better to know her children would be brought up in a home consistent with her values.

There are many ways to adopt and apparently the difficult part for you will be to find an agency that doesn't have requirements you don't fit. When it comes right down to it if you are adopting an infant the Mother will Hopefully have the right to make the decision so you may face this issue not only with the agency's but with the very mother who decides.

monkeykitty83

Adoption agencies are private organizations, and have the right to set any policies they see fit. While I don't think that religion is a requirement to be a good parent, what I think on the subject doesn't apply to a private group run by someone else.

If you insist on using a private adoption agency, you are subject to that agency's policies. Period. If you don't like the policies, don't use the agency.

The state does not have religion requirements, and I don't see how having foster care adoption suggested to you means you "can't win." Foster kids are just as great and lovable, and are deserving of homes.

You don't have to foster-- it's possible to actually adopt from foster care. There are tens of thousands of kids whose biological parents' rights have been terminated, and who are now just waiting for adoptive homes. Many never get those homes.

If you chose to adopt one of them, after some initial visits to get to know each other the child would be moved into your home for good, and you would begin finalizing the adoption. You would not lose the child to another home if you asked to be matched with a child whose parents had already had their rights terminated.

Adopting from foster care is NOT the same as being a foster parent. It's permanent and consistent.

If the problem is that you don't want a foster kid, I'm not going to tell you to adopt a child you won't really love. That isn't right for the child. But if that's the case, you really need to think about how "unfair" the agency is being, when you're doing rejecting of your own. If you must have a newborn who has never been in foster care, and the agency must have Christians, you're at an impasse, and you can't expect them to bend if you aren't prepared to either.

Please at least consider foster care adoption.

Reddish Peach

try Jesus

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: