Resons parents give away their child?(adoption)?

fallout_girl05

some birthparents don't "give away" their child and don't consider them "mistakes" as everyone else is saying. i didn't give away my son, i placed him in a home with parents that could offer more than i could. i still get and send letters, pics and we always arrange visits. i know my situation may be different that some other birthparents, but it really bothers me when people say i gave away my child, like he was a pet or something that i grew out of.

the reasons i chose adoption (and no it doesn't make me a bad person like some of you idiots think): i wasn't some poor, pathetic drug abuser who had a one night stand. i was an adult in a relationship for 1.5 years when i became pregnant. i had just graduated from hs and was heading off to college. i didn't feel like i had the resources to raise a child (money, time, etc). none of my family members pushed me nor did any of them not support me. the father was also fully supportive, even though we were not together anymore. we both made the decision to give our child a more stable life than either of us could provide at that time in our lives. but we didn't just want to "give away" our child, so that is why we chose open adoption. no one in my family regrets what we did, nor do i. i am doing very well in school in hopes to provide my future children the life my son lives now .

mojo52

A few reasons parents would give their children up for adoption are physical, mental, emotional and financial inability to provide a safe, secure and supportive family life. Sometimes they can't support themselves let alone the expense of a child. This doesn't mean they don't love them. On the contrary I believe it takes a monumental love to relenquish a child for adoption.

rachael

i can only say form my experience, my birhtmother put me up for adoption because she was 16 and had a family history of incest (not how she became pregnant with me, that was the first question i asked when i found out)

she knew she couldnt take care of me on a day to day basis and knew if she wasnt able to defend herself against this she wouldnt be able to protect me. she said she would rather give me to a home where i would be safe and live with her decision forever than to live knowing she i was enduring the living hell she did for so many years

all i can say is thank you to her. she was brave and selfless. she is a strong woman and i praise her for the choice she made. i had a stable home with everything i needed and almost everything i wanted. now i am a parent and have the full understanding of what she did. she gave me the ultimate gift any parent could-a life

NONAME

to young for kids

Patricia

To give the child the opportunity to live a better life, with better conditions, stability and a loving family. Sometimes a person cannot provide that for a child, so adoption is the best for the child.

Dec08Mommy

Total Recipe hit the nail on the head.
I am in this category and exactly why I gave up my newborn when I was 16. I was promised that it would be an "open adoption" and that I could stay in her life. I didn't have the means, education or ability to care for her at the time.
Everyone said it was best, etc...As soon as papers were legally done and adoption was final, everything changed.
I am not a fan of adoption and I can tell you first hand all the problems that come with it (from all sides). People like to say "its the best thing for the child" etc...But that's easy to say from the outside, right? I get upset when anti-abortion people dont have a solution to what happens when the child is born. Support and direction is not there for a young and confused teenage mother.

BPD Wife

Kudos to Falloutgirl05 for saying what I wanted to say!

First of all, people do not "give away" their children. Biological parents create an adoption plan for their child. The reasons are varied and are a personal decision for the biological family to make.

If our son's biological parents gave us anything - it was the gift of love! We are blessed because of their unselfishness to put their child and their child's well-being above all else.

Thank you to all bio-parents out there!

Kelsey H

Sometimes parents choose to give up their children, because of the reasons that have already been said (too young, financially unstable, etc.) Other times, children are forcibly removed from their parents' homes due to legal trouble such as child abuse or drugs.

TotalRecipeHound

According to the Congressional Hearings, if they are white and not on drugs, more than half are bullied by relatives, adoptive parents or others to give their child up. They are repeatedly told it is best for the child despite the evidence that, unless unfit, it is in the child's best interests to stay with the family it is born into.

ohsnapbeth

Too young, too irresponsible, not ready whether it's emotionally or financially, to give their child a chance for a better life than they think they could provide.

ladybmw1218

Most frequently one hears the following very valid reasons:
Too young and experienced
Not financially secure
No family or coparent support
Prefers a two parent household for their child
Prefers a a stay at home parent for their child
Wants their child to have a better, more secure life overall than she can give him/her at that time

Unfortunately, there is another side. Many women are coerced and pressured into relinquishing by their family, or the childs father, even though they do not want to do so. Without support they may feel incapable of raising their child, and society unfortunately adds weight to this enormous pressure. Many, many relinquishments are against the mother wishes and she may feel lifelong depression and post traumatic stress because of it.

Some do make a well thought out, freely chosen adoption plan, and feel it's for the best -but not all...maybe not even most.

western b

I have three adopted cousins. They have been one of the best things that has ever happened to our family. Two of my aunts were unable to have biological children due to medical issues and receiving an adopted child was a gift from God. My oldest cousin (who is 21) recently found her birth mother. She is a wonderful woman who actually lives two cities away! She explained that she chose to give my cousin up for adoption because she was too young and didn't have any support from her family or the father of her child. Today she is married and has since had three other children. My cousin visits them frequently and has really enjoyed fostering a relationship with her half-siblings.

One of my other adopted cousins was a premature drug-baby who was removed from his mother's care by protective services as an infant.

I am not sure about the history of my third cousin because he has never been interested in learning about his biological parents.

jeff hardy's girl

well if they can't support them it's the right thing to do. if having the child was a mistake like if u r like 14 and had a baby that' a reason it give ur baby away.

-unexpected
-druggies
-dies
-too young
-not enough money
-abusive
-homeless ect.

cheri h

better life for the child

rhea b

I think the main reason is social pressure. Very few people are actually unable to take care of a child, but our society pressures those who are young, single, or somehow seen as unsuitable to give their children away to parents who are viewed as more suitable. I have many friends who are adopted, and who had great adoptive parents, but it was still really hard on them, harder than it was on my friends who were raised by just one of the people who actually made them.

Emirald67

Lots of times, it's because it's a teenage pregnancy. A teen usually is not mature enough to raise a child.

Chelsea!

my mum was adopted. her dad abbused her birth mother and her sibblings. her mother got into a mental state and was sent to a mental instituation so my mum was fostered out and adopted at 6 months. this was back when they didn't check out adoptive families so my mum's adoptives mother was an alcholholic.

acceptancewithjoy20

drugs and alcohol like mine but i was taken away.

cassie

many people believe that adoption is a win-win scenario because the baby gets to be born
given obviously better parents
birthparents get to move on to continue on with their lives. They are told they are young, stupid, lazy, ty and unfit.
"It's the loving thing to do.
better/more oppurtunities
and more however it depends on the senerio!

Victor O

there are many reasons. in some cases a woman was raped, didn't get an abortion and does not want to keep the baby. in other cases the parents simply can't support the baby. however you'd be surprised why certain people give away their kids. most kids get given away at a 'safe surrender site'. most hospitals have these (it depends on whether they have a maternaty dept. or not).

maggie_soccer_960

Well sometimes it is against one's religion to have a girl-or a boy. Also some girls are too young and irresponsable.

amelia_0405

Because there bad people

zoey101

It's very cruel but I'm sure the reason was they were either to young or the baby was a complete accident and maybe because their baby got out of hand and they just couldn't handel their child anymore so they give them away!

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