SHOULD Adoptees be any more grateful to their parents (all 3 or 4) than kids raised by their natural family?

sk8ermom

No. Why would they be?

Freckle Face

Hi Lara,

That would be a big NO. Adoptees didn't have any choice in the matter. For that matter i don't believe any child should be grateful to their parents.

MamaKate

Depends on what you mean by "grateful" and no, NO child should HAVE to be any more "grateful" than the next. Gratitude cannot and should not be dictated or demanded. Only earned.

I Love A Child With Autism!!!

Of course not. They didn't ask to be in that situation. They deserve to be raised exactly like natural children would be. I am not a believer in "you should be grateful we raised you...". The aparents chose to raise the child, they should do it because they want to do what is best for the child, not because they want kudos for raising a child that is not biologically their own.

I'm not saying that this is your feeling Lara, but it is no wonder a lot of adoptees have a problem with adoption when this is the type of view a lot of people have.

Independ"ant"

I guess that would expected from the delusional people that adopt a child thinking they are saving them from poverty and its evilness.

Its wrong on every level and emotionally damaging to a child.

When an adoptee hears this from the a-parents they should tell them that they saved them from having 1 less child and possibly keeping the marriage together. I would love to see the look on the a-parents face.

Go ahead, bring on the thumbs down.

sunny

Years ago, when I explained to my nmother that people expected adoptees to be grateful to their aparents, she was miffed.

She said, "Why should YOU be grateful, THEY wanted a child, and they got one--they are the ones who should be grateful!"

I guess it's all in how you look at it.

Princess Leia

I don't think its a "gratiude" thing. When you adopt children, they become your kids, just like your biological kids. I don't see why there would be a difference in how they feel towards their parents.

Heather Leigh

No more than kids with step-parents should be grateful for having two sets of parents. Just like an adopted child it is something they had no control over.

Kazi

No one should be grateful for having things that for almost everyone else is a given: having a family; being loved, cared for and safe.

I do not ever expect my child to be grateful to us for adopting her. In fact I would be quite distressed if she ever told us that she was.

I do however think that that ALL people should be grateful for every day of life, good health, good friendships, etc...

Cam

Absolutely not. I expect nothing more of my child than to be herself and to be a kind compassionate human being toward others.

WesD

All children should be grateful to their parents for a multitude of reasons...who care if they're adopted or not...the problem with most kids is that they feel they're owed something...you are guaranteed the PURSUIT of happiness, not happiness.

tangerine

It depends on how they were treated by their parents. There are some people who are treated badly by their natural parents and some who are treated badly by their adoptive parents. In either case, they don't have any reason to feel "grateful".

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