Seems like adoption is prevalent in my life?

Ok, i know that sounds so unbelievably strange.

As many here know, i do not have too much contact with my bio family. Not by choice, but they dont have a permanant residence. What info i do have comes through my aunt. I've recently discovered that my bio mother was put in foster care at the age of 2, and never adopted. Never had a stable home, and as a result, was so unprepared for life as an adult.

My bio sister lost a child to adoption. Her 3rd child, a boy, was born at 6 months along, and due to my sisters drug use, was immediatly taken away from her. By the time she got clean, she tells me she was afraid to take her son back because he was attached to his foster mom and she was the only mom he'd ever know.

I sometimes wonder if my mother having the experience she had might have been a factor in why she ended up giving us up.

Anyone else think so? Also, does it seem that, as an adopted person, everywhere you turn, something relating to adoption is cropping up? i knew a number of people who were adopted, two from the Phillpines(my friend Marissa and her sister Christina). As well as two girls in foster care(one was adopted eventually, the other, an 11 year old, was moved).

Just curious, does anyone else seem to be surrounded by it?
Additional Details
Devon:I hope someday, you find your bio mom. i'm sure she thinks about you. My bio mother did.

DevonChaos

I feel surrounded by it. I know that partially this is due to the fact that I do read about adoption issues a lot. I also had adopted friends growing up, and I have an adopted god sister. I am not close with my adopted friends anymore though. I am not in reunion, so I wonder a lot. I wonder if my first mother still thinks about me. If I have any sisters or brothers. If my kids have look-a-like cousins anywhere...

I see adoption everywhere. I read it into everything. I think when a movie has an adoption in the plot line, some people just take it as a part of the story, but to me it is a neon light flashing. It seems like adoption is everywhere. I don't think it would be any less prevalent if I were in reunion. I think it might be even bigger then.

I have a couple of friends who are infertile who have mentioned things like adoption and surrogacy, and I never know what to say about it. It is like everyday, adoption runs at me at least once, full tilt, catching me in the gut.

ETA: In high school, I befriended a girl who lived in a foster care group home. She introduced me to all the other kids at my school who lived there, and it was pretty incredible that all these kids were living together. I didn't even know about that kind of thing at the time.

ETA: Rowan, that means more to me than you'll ever know. Thank you.

kateiskate

I feel like it follows me around too. But more like I read an adoption or abandonment theme into everything that I see or hear. So many tv shows, movies, books and songs can be triggering to me. Last weekend I was watching "Rattatouille" and I cried when the rat said he was tired of having to pretend to be a rat to make his Dad happy. I cried because I identified with a rat that felt like he didn't belong anywhere, not with his family, not with society. Being that such difficult emotions are attached to adoption it doesn't surprise me that we see it everywhere we go.

LuAnne L

I sounds to me like yes adoption is very much a large chunk of your life. I wish it wasnt so for you but I have noticed that because of all your experiance with adoption in your life that you are able to give helpful answers to ppl like me and others who have not had to deal with adoption for a vast amount of time. I wish you hadn't have had to experiance all that but your experiances gave you an insight that has allowed you help me and i am sure other ppl as well.

bjrodgerz

It does seem like adoption crops up everywhere...maybe there is just more media making us more aware. You however can change the cycle that seems to prevail your family. You can find counseling, you can take parenting class and learn way before you get caught in life's tight grip. Your Mom didn't have the resources of today...most likely she and her mother before her was not offered help but pushed until they felt defeated. Read, ask questions and learn all you can. I bet there is not a moment that goes by where you are not in her thoughts.

13 months ttc

me too cuz i can't concieve.. didn't yet

SJM

Well, everyone on my speed dial is either an adoptee, an ap, a first parent, or one of our children. I think that makes my answer a big yes.

red elephants

I'm not adopted (am planning on adopting through foster care) but am very much surrounded by adoption. Isn't the statistic something like 50% of people are touched by adoption in some way? I have a number of friends who were adopted or have adopted, know birth moms, foster parents, people in the process of adopting or fostering, family members who are adopted by step parent adoption or internationally, etc. Since I have started researching adoption and getting a plan in place I have noticed adoption related things more often and have found out about more connections to adoption, like a good friend who is a birth mom. Its been very helpful having her to talk to about things.

I think usually when you are very in touch with a subject you tend to notice it more often. I'm involved in animal rescue and now that I am I run into situations in regular life that are related to it (see more animals that are strays and loose, have people mention surrendering or fostering animals, pops up in movies often, etc). It very much permeates every aspect of my life.

With your mom I would think that her upbringing very much was a contributing factor. Not having a stable home environment or family probably made her feel she was very incapable of providing any kind of stable home life for her own kids. It is heartbreaking that she wasn't given the proper tools to become prepared for life as an adult. On a side note its wonderful your bio sister was able to get clean. I know what a horrible battle that can be and what strength is needed to overcome it!

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