(Serious Replies Only) Where can Adopted youth seek help?

â™¥â™¥Ritaâ™¥â™¥

Since you are in school have you thought about living in the dorms?? e you are working part time it may be possible to pick up a part time Work Study job, work on campus and enjoy not paying taxes on that payroll...

Since you have some cash flow...you could apply for subsidized housing and pay very, very low rent. The apartments are not always great but you have to start somewhere...you could eat pretty cheap if it is just yourself. Untilities are ofent a part of the rent in those apartments though you may have to pay electric or water....

I agree with what Randy says.....

Don't hang your hat on the fact that you are adopted.....many non adopted twenty somethings are in your same situation.

If you were adopted as an older teen, there may be programs that you could tap in to....but it is time you branched out and sprouted anew.

Keep doing good in school......your education will take you somewhere if you want it to....

Take care!!

sunny

Well, it's not professional help, but there are plenty of adult adoptees who can offer support at:

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum

Also, there are nightly chats hosted by adoptee and therapist Joe Soll at:

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org

Hang on!

Randy B

Given your age I don't think it matters if you were adopted or not. Any and all programs for assistance that are open to you are the same that would be open to non-adoptees. I'd suggest that you not limit your inquiries to agencies and/or forums dealing with adoptees because of that fact. I'd be very surprized to find out that there are special social services programs like you need for adult adoptees.

durdenslabs

I'm sorry about your situation. I like to assume that children who are adopted are loved/cared for better than that. I know parents & kids don't always get along, but for things to be the way you make them sound isn't good for any relationship.

I would suggest going to the department of social services in your area. Even though you are an adult you are still in school and relying on parental help. If that help isn't there, and is threatening to be cut-off, then perhaps DSS can help you? At the least they will be able to give you a referral to someone that can.
You could also get a part time job on campus and should be allowed to live on campus if you are a full time student. That would be a quick solution to your living/financial problems (as long as college is paid for with scholarships/grants/loans). See if you could stay with a friend that you go to college with or see if a friend or two would want to go in on getting an apartment close to campus. Bills would be split 3 ways so it would be cheap for you and a p/t job should cover it.

sizesmith

Your department of human services offices and child protection services may have a few programs that might help you. Our state has a program for kids adopted after the age of 15, so that they have medicaid, college tuition, and other benefits, including a housing allowance. It's worth a try, and in addition to that, you might qualify for temporary assistance such as food stamps, just until you get on your feet.

The main thing is, get your education. Without it, there's a strong possibility you'll always be poor. Good luck, and a job at McDonalds, and a very small kitchenette, and then, save money as much as you can, and soon, you'll be doing good.

Siver C

plenty of natural children are in your exact same situation.

Tam

I am sorry you do not get along with your birth mother. Really, I do not think that your problem has anything to do with your being adopted because of your age. You could have had the same trouble even if you weren't adopted. I would contact a local counseling agency for help. You could start with a religious based agency that also facilitates adoptions. That way they will be sensitive to adoption issues. You do not have to be Lutheran to use Lutheran Family Services or Catholic to go to Catholic Social Services. They are faith based but do not discriminate. They usually have a sliding fee scale for counseling services and they may be able to tell you how to search for birth parents if you are interested. They would be a great place to start.

Stay in school and best wishes for your future.

bananarama

Wow 20 years old and sitll living at home? Do you think she has givin you this time limit because you should either be living in a dorm or living on your own anyways? Do you feel like she is giving you this time limit because you are adopted or because she thinks its time you learn to take care of yourself? Maybe just try finding a counsler you could talk to like at school, that is if you are going to school, and also there are a lot of books that you can read to help you deal with this. Im reading "Being Adopted The Lifelong search for self" But i never had this problem with my adopted famiy I was in to much of a rush to be independent from them and moved out when I was 16. I found that me and my adopted mother have a much much better relationship when we dont live under the same roof.

ETA: If you are working and in scholol and get that good of grades then why dont you have your own place? Or live with a couple buddies or staying in a dorm room? Talk to your counsler at school they may have a list of other students that attend that school needing roomates. I know mine has that list! She will be able to help with alot of your problems im sure. Im sorry if i came off rude but like I said at 24 years old I have been living on my own for 8 years now. I just started going back to school this semester. But my low end jobs seving tables and what not got me into cheap apartments. No you wont have the bast of the best you have to go for what you can afford.

Beautiful Mynd

Yes, there is... you can't give your life story to people on here, but the Lord sees exactly what's been going on in your life (the things you've done, and things that have been done to you).

I don't know where you live, but do this. First say a prayer in the name of the Lord Jesus, and ask Him to come into your life.... if you're sincere and your situation is not your fault, then the God will move on your behalf. Next when you get a chance to go out somewhere like you normally do, go into a church where both there are both Blacks and Whites, or you can choose one or the other - there should be no difference if they are loving people whom are Christians. Ask for the pastor and tell him you'd like to speak to him. Tell him if you may or may not know the Lord, and then begin telling the truth about your situation. Make him aware that you know he will keep the matter between himself and the Lord, considering anyone else he'll have to tell in an effort to assist your situation. Then ask for his blessing and for someone in his congregation who he would think of as a "faithful person" with whom you can link up with. Then mention the social worker fact last, because you want the pastor to act as a pastor, not as a social worker. A baptist church in the hood somewhere is a good place to go considering your ethnicity - they want more people like you to come to the Lord!!!

Believe me, this is the "best way" to handle this. Just do your best to do whatever it is your mom is saying... this is discipline, which will produce "patience." If you are really in distress, then I am certain the Lord will hear you.... just wait until He makes a better for you, and don't turn your back on Him when He finally does come through. :)

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