She is having dreams about her birth parents?

My best friend who recently got diagnosed with bipolar and was adopted from birth, has started having dreams about her birth father.
Don't get all grossed out but I asked and he was older, maybe 65ish and the birth mother was around 17 or 18. She lives with a loving mother and father now, though the father is moving out. I'm very worried for her, as she has been depressed (of course now we know it was bipolar)
she has been having a dream that her birth father is feeding her to dogs. I don't know anything about dreams personally, I just need to say something to reasure her. Does anyone know of adopted kids and how they react as a teenager to thinking about birth parents? Thanks! I'm just worried about her.

MamaKate

I'm sorry your friend is having to deal with this. Is it possible that the pending separation of her APs could be causing these dreams? Could the impending "loss" of her AF be causing the dreams about her first "abandonment"? Has your friend ever met her first parents? I wonder if meeting her first parents might help. Is your friend interested in meeting them? Does she have questions that might be triggering these dreams? Are her APs open to the idea of assisting her with reunion? I can't help but wonder if it might not help her out to know them...

I hope that your friend's family is doing as much as possible to be supportive to help her through this. Separation/divorce is often more traumatic for adoptees due to having already lost one family. I sincerely wish your friend and her family the best and hope your friend gets a decent night's sleep without any nightmares.

cantstopLinnyG

It is very common for adoptees to have strange adoption related dreams, bipolar or not. It could be the fact that her parents are having difficulties in their marriage, and it is "triggering" her, and her unresolved issues stemming from her adoption are resurfacing in her dreams. Again, very common in adoptees.
I am 43, in reunion, and still have odd adoption related dreams.

Felicita1

It sound to me like her natural parents have been this "invisible presence" or 'shadow" in her life. They exist. They created her. She has a strong emotional connection to them. But she has to pretend that they don't exist and that she was born to her adoptive parents as the papers say (my son, also adopted at birth, had to do the same type of pretending and put effort into it as he could not cope otherwise with being in a family of strangers (his words)).

The only way to turn these "big scary monsters" into ordinary people is for her to reunite. Is this possible? Can the agency, lawyer, or whomever else "brokered her" for adoption provide this information? Of course, their paying customers are her adoptive parents so most often agencies etc. refuse to give the adoptee any information that may result in a reunion, but if she can get her adoptive parents "on board" then she may have a hope. (If you spend $25,000 on obtaining a child, you can buy a lot of secrecy and government closed records laws were put into place to protect adoptive families).

I wish her luck. Reunion may be the best thing for her. Then there won't be any more scary "unknowns."

Cjay

I know i was very young when my parents decided to give me up but there will still things i remembered...little things. Someone or something would remind me of them. Its normal for her to wonder about her birth parents. Its normal for her to remember certain things even in dreams. Re assure her she is loved and when the time comes if she chooses she can seek her birth parents

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