Should I give up on adopting? We've been trying for 9 yrs & gotten nowhere. I'm tired of waiting. Any ideas? ?

We are working with our 2nd agency and have been with them for 3 years. We have never even met with a prospective match. We are told that our profile is being shown but don't know that for sure. It's time for us to update again and I just don't know if I can keep going through this and getting nowhere.
Additional Details
To add a few more details and answer questions, we are not extremely specific in what we are looking for. We will do open or closed adoption and are looking for infant - 3 years old. Race doesnt matter. Also, we have tried Social Services and fostering. SS was our first agency. We were licensed for 3 years to foster. We never fostered a child and were never called about fostering one. As I said, we have tried everything and gotten nowhere.

mommia

I AM PREGNANT AND CONSIDERING ADOPTION, DON'T GIVE UP I AM NOW 30 WEEKS PREGNANT, IN NO SITUATION TO RAISE A CHILD AND NEED SOME HELP WITH THIS, I WOULD LOVE TO TALK TO YOU PLEASE RESPOND OKAY

Heather B

There are thousands of waiting children over the age of 3 who are tired of waiting for someone to give them a home too. Sigh.

Possum

If it's taken that long - perhaps you've been too specific about what you want.
If you want a white healthy infant - well there really just isn't that many out there.
There are though thousands of children in foster care - some infants - that need a loving home.
And that's what adoption is actually about - not about finding you a baby because you can't have one.
Sorry to be blunt - but perhaps you're trying to fill your own needs - over that of the child.
Perhaps you need to take a long hard look at what you want.
No child needs to come into a family that is hoping to fill a dream - of what could have been. That's too big an ask on a child that has already sadly lost the family they were born to.
Adoption is about caring for someone else's child - for expanding a child's family - not replacing it.
Yes - I'm making assumptions about your wishes - but if you've been waiting to adopt for so long - well - I can only assume that you only want a certain type of child - to fulfil your certain type of dreams.
You need to readjust your radar - your need to think about filling a child's needs - and not your own.
I wish you well.

MamaKate

Have you looked into adopting through foster care? There are literally thousands of children who need loving homes and who are legally free for eligible placements. Please consider helping a child who truly needs you. And yes, many are infants and toddlers. And no, they aren't "messed up".

opedial

Maybe open your requirement a bit more, for example, they are alwasy looking to do sibling placements. Also, look on the waiting children boards in different states/provinces.

We waited five years in Saskatchewan and we had very very open requirements. There were no children moving through the permanence planning stage at that time. We moved to Ontario and boom three kids four months later.

I know the wait time for children under three will be higher than anyone else.

If there are no children coming available for adoption, then of course you will not get a child. Find out what children are waiting, and move along from there. Sometimes it means adjusting what we thought our reality of parenting was going to be and moving towards new dreams. We did it and have never been happier!

i alwasy told myself during that time of waiting "right child right time".

shells (tatismom)

Are you very specific on the race and age of the child that you want? Because my cousin just adopted a baby and the entire process, from contacting the agency to the evaluation to getting a baby, took only one month. I'm not joking with you at all. They were told that one of the reasons it happened so fast is that they adopted an African-American baby, and sadly, not many people are willing to adopt children of this race.

If I were in your position, i would change agencies. I know it's hard to start all over again, but it does seem like a long time to be with the agency you are with and get nowhere. I really wish the very best for you and I hope that you can find a little one to complete your family very soon.

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