Should I go through an adoption agency or choose the private adoption option?

PhilM

Open adoption arrangements are not enforceable, whether you go through an agency or a private adoption.

Further, you should research the effects of relinquishment on both children and their mothers.

Do not make any final decisions until after you have given birth, as you might find you've changed your mind.

Investigate your other options before consigning your child to this life.

Angela R

Honestly, unless you plan on placing your child with someone you personally know, going through an agency is often safer. I don't really know how it would be better for an expectant mother to do it privately, either way you will be able to choose the adoptive parents.

If your state allows, then either way you can have your living and medical expenses paid for, but you are not allowed to "get money" in exchange for placing your child. Also, in most states "open adoption" agreements are not legally enforceable, whether you go through an agency, or private adoption.

mida511

Hi, Just through personal experience, it all depends on what you want...I was in the same boat as you were but then I went to this amazing Agency where I live and I was able to pick out the family , and we are always in contact. It also depends on how much contact you really want....both me and the adoptive family want quite a bit of contact so i'm recieving phone calls and email every week or so as well as monthly vists. One thing I know I don't know if it's the same where you live but adoption here you do not get and kind of money or gifts whatsoever, they feel that if they do that it's like they are buying your child off you which would be pretty damaging to the kid. I also personally am not able to tell you how the private adoption works though if you need any more advice on the open adoption aspect send me a msg and I can answer to my best ability any questions!

grapesgum

Do not "hook up" with anyone on the internet!! Very dangerous!

Whether you go through an agency or through private adoption, finding good parents who will honor an open adoption agreement is a crap shoot. My daughter's best friend and a neighbor of mine got scammed by couples who out and out lied about open adoption. Both couples closed the adoption and moved as far away as they could and shut down all communication.

There are a lot of agencies who trample all over the rights of expectant parents. Private adoption is equally risky.

What about the father? His right to parent must also be considered. Many agencies and lawyers walk all over the rights of fathers. See the link below for a particularly odious case.

http://www.babyselling.com/

Suggest that you read this pamphlet to protect your rights:

"What you should KNOW if you're considering adoption for your baby"
http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index.php?id=1

It was written by a mother who got scammed. She was promised open adoption and the couple closed it.

ladysv8

I think it is best to go through an agency. They will help you find the right family. You will get to meet them, and choose who you think is best. You want the best for this baby, and choosing to give a baby up for adoption is a hard enough choice, but one that you make with your heart, and you want to make sure when its all done and over that you feel like you did the right thing.

britt_162009

I honestly think you should consider keeping the baby because it will be a part of you and it may come back on you, making you regret it and money and material things isn't everything. There is help out there that you can get if you financially unstable. But im not going to critize you for giving your baby up for adoption because people shouldn't judge or do that and it is your choice. I just think you should consider the option of keeping it. But if you do go through with adoption, I think you should go through a private adoption because you do get choose the parents and you can choose an open adoption if you like. You should still have a lawyer though in case anything happens. Good Luck

leppard_spots

you are the only one that can make that decision. i'm going through the same thing. i'm giving my baby girl up because i can't financially raise an infant on my own right now. i've been through so much this year. i'm trying to get back on my feet as it is. i'm living in a safe home for pregnant women right now. i just lost my job and i'm looking for a place to live. it isn't easy. i feel it's best for her to go to a couple who can support her and take care of her better than i can.

ms. dicilous

listen, you need to really think this through it seams as though You really want the best for your baby but there's no such thing unless you take care of the baby yourself I know you said that you can take care of the babe but god will make away for you trust me he will I really want you to think long and hard there's no place better than your arms trust me I have four so I am speaking from experience when I had mine I never had money and most other people don't either there no such thing as beining prepared we never are but, take time to really think cause this babe life is your life too ok! i'm not try to tell you what to do but, trust me a mother knows what is best and that's safe with you always you will protect yours will someone else do the same no I don't think so!!

Loval

I think adoption started coz there were children with no parents, In this case when the parents are hale and healthy, why do you want to give away your child. How would you have felt when you grew up and found that your parents did not want you.
God has given you this baby, please keep it. There is no better place for a child than its parents, no one will ever care for the child like the parents would. As my Dad says ' If God has given me the mouth, he will also provide me with the food'. Millions of families are craving for a child and here you are, ready to give away your child.
Think well b4 u make up your mind. Its easy to throw away, but very hard to get it back.

AwandMybabibak

go through an agency

document everything and do everything right

that way the mother can't claim coercion later

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

open adoptions are not enforceable by law.

please research the odds that the family will NOT keep in contact after they have your kid. be prepared.

please keep your baby.

Amanda

I would go with a private adoption. Private adopters are more likely to help you out with medical expenses and living expenses to ensure that a healthy baby is born for them. Also, like you said, you will get to know who is adopting your baby, so if you want to contact your child later in life, it will be a lot easier to do.

trying2behelpful

I don't know where you are located, but you could go through LDS Family Services. Their website is providentliving.org . You can look through profiles of couples and choose the best one for your child. Also, I know that you can ask them to pay living expenses while you are pregnant. They also offer free counseling before and after the pregnancy.

lajoy05

Oh yes...there is a lot to consider sweetheart. In the classified sections in the newpaper there are a lot of people wanting to adopt. And the Sunday paper is really full of them. You are doing a wonderful thing by loving your baby enought to give her up, and I think you should have the right to meet the parents ...just as they have the rights to meet you. Meet in a public place first, and eat dinner or drink coffee. You might want to take various pictures of you in different stages of your life for them to see. Private adoptions benefits everyone all around better. They may be able to help you money wise,or a place to stay for only a short time, becauthey will be wanting to start their new family and are excited

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