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Should I put my twins that i am pregnant for right now up for adoption?
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Should I put my twins that i am pregnant for right now up for adoption?

I already have 4 kids. And 2 on the way
(the twins are boys)


    




Random Amuse Me
Rating
well it depends if you can afford them otherwise ask a very close family friend or a relative to keep them for a while but its not good when their all split up and if they are for adoption they will most likly get split up. U can consider temperialy adoption just dont get them split up


Lori A
Not before you read up on the possible effects its going to have on you, your twins, their siblings, grandparents, and father. There is a lot more to this than what is in an adoption brochure and you need to make an INFORMED decision.


Justice
Rating
Do you know any women that have put their children up for adoption? The counseling at a crisis pregnancy center tends towards adoption without revealing the trauma of living without your babies. As far as I know the long term suffering is much more severe than the loss of abortion. And that's just for the mother.

Your whole family will be affected if you separate the kids from their siblings. Open adoption is subject to the adoptive parents whim and even in the best cases creates ongoing suffering when you have to say goodbye over and over, watching them grow up separate from you.

The repercussions of separation on the rest of your life and your children's lives are more than you can imagine.

If you do lean towards adoption, WAIT, until your babies are a few weeks old - until your hormones settle down a bit and you've tried it out so you know whether you can handle it. Take your time. Don't rush.

This may be the biggest decision of your life. Get more information.


Just a Mom
Rating
Don't you think your kids deserve to stay together?


grapesgum
No - I don't think that you should. It will have lasting negative effects on you, your twins, your other four children, and other family members.

It is not noble or selfless to give your babies away to strangers. It is child cruelty. People who say it is a loving decision are wrong - they just want a baby and will do and say anything to get one.

You and your family are much better off getting help to stay together. Get counseling but NOT from an adoption agency like those given here. Agencies just want to get babies no matter what and don't give crap about the feelings of the natural family.

ETA - Also, before you do anything, please read this pamphlet written by a natural mother who regretted her decision to give her baby away:

"What you should KNOW if you're considering adoption for your baby"
http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index.php?id=1


babymoma20100
I would wate for them to be born and then see what you wont to do after you see and hold them.....


Rowan
Keep your children together.


Jem
Wow that is a very personal decision. Probably not one to ask total strangers who do not know you or your situation. If you already have 4 kids I can understand how terrifying it must be to be looking twins in the eye. But they aren't THAT hard....really. Just make sure that you really think this through.

I would keep them...but that is just me. They might wonder why you gave them up and not the other 4 children. Or your other 4 might start to feel like if you gave them away maybe you would give them up too....Just something to think about.

If you don't think you can handle more children than the 4 you have, maybe being more careful to ensure that you don't get pregnant again would be a good choice. That way you aren't in this situation again.


Ann D
thats not fair to those children. you have a responsibility to keep them. get help from the father. why should you have to go through this alone? Go after the dad and get child support, ask family for help with babysitting so you can work. you can make it work.


Renee B
There isn't anyone here who can answer that for you. No one knows what your situation is. But if you do put them up for adoption, I hope you can find a family who will take both of them.


sherry@@@
Rating
Even though you think you can't afford them can you afford to worry if they are crying , if they will ever call you, will they ever meet there other sybilings. Will I ever forgive myself, did I make the right choices, di I really do what was best, well the only one that knows that is you. Do you have family close by to help and how old are your other children will they understand what you have done. May the Lord guide you and direct you in your decision and if you do I pray for you to find peace withen. God Bless your family ............


lahdh4
Rating
That is a decision only YOU can make. DO NOT let anyone else talk you into placing your twins for adoption. Especially those who go on and on about how much of a selfless act it is.
IT isn't.
It is a very difficult decision. Anyone telling you how much they wish to adopt your children from YA avoid!!!


Philippa
Is there any reason why you should... sorry only curious and don't mean to sound rude.

If you do make sure it's for the right reasons and not because you're worrying about things in general.


camogurlz
Totally up to you if you think you cant handle twins then its a good idea but i wouldnt give the babies up to just anyone, i would get a couple that has been wanting a baby and see if they will take both, i think it would be mean to split up twins


icehockeymom7
Rating
I think you need to get some counseling in order to know how to make this decision. You can get this at a crisis pregnancy center free of charge. It's not something anyone else can (or should) decide for you. I have 4 children myself, and I know how overwhelming it is, so I am sure you are feeling panicked at the thought of 2 more. But you do need to really think this out carefully because there are lifelong implications for you and your twins if you choose to relinquish them for adoption. Best of luck to you!


Tam
Rating
I am sorry to hear about your situation. It must be a very difficult decision to even consider. However, only you can answer that question. There is too much to consider for anyone else to help you. I suggest you seek the advice of a clergyman or counselor in your area. Call a crisis center to get the name of a good counselor if you need to. They may have contacts that are willing to see you for next to nothing. Please consider that you will always remember giving birth to them and there may be long term quesions from your other children. They may wonder why you gave their brothers away and whether you would give them away, too. Will you be able to deal with such a decision? Please don't get me wrong. I am an adoptive mother. I know that adoption is a wonderful option and am not trying to discourage you. I am, however, wanting you to get the counseling you need so you can make the most informed decision possible. If you choose adoption, perhaps you can have an open adoption that will allow you and your other children to keep in touch.

Best wishes whatever you choose. :o)


kateiskate
Rating
You and your children should stay together. While it may be hard on you financially, it will be even harder on you and your family in the long run emotionally.


friendsramazing
No one can answer that for you, but I will tell you if you do put them up for adoption, keep them together. I am a twin, and my husband is a twin, so I understand about twins. We were hoping for twins, but we are unable to have kids. Email me if you have any quesitons about twins... friendsramazing@yahoo.com


Franco M
that would depend on who you think you are as a person. you could take up the responsibility of being a single other of six, or go the easy way and put them up for adoption. if it's financial issues, then you might have to work a little bit harder


R.M.G!
Oh dear, You are opening up a huge can of worms.
Think about your existing 4. What will they think?(and YES, they DO think!) "What if Mom gets mad at me? Will she give me away?" OR,"I wonder if I can get Mom to get rid of _______?"
Sure, it sounds nuts! How can you even consider giving these twins up? You "made them". The other 4 were already there.
It's not like that insane "Octo-Mom" b*tch. But GEEZ lady, think before you breed!!


cassie
that is a personal question its up to you and only you can make the right decision for you


sundragonjess
Rating
If there is any way you could keep them, that would be best for them, but if there is no way you can keep them and you can't afford them, place them for adoption.


animallover
depends. here are some questions to ask yourself:

do i have enough time right now for the kids i have??
can i financially support all my kids right now, and the twins??
if i do give them up for adoption, in the future will i be able to meet them and answer their questions about their biological family??
will i actually be able to give my kids over the an adoption agency and say goodbye??

ask your partner about these questions too!!


☆ ¢αяρє ∂ιєм ☆
If you're single, how did this happen?

It's not cute for teens to sleep around, and it most definately isn't cute when mommy gives her kids new STEP siblings. They should be fully relaeted, unless you have remarried.

Stop whoring around, and maybe, just maybe, it's time to give these kids at a chance at a normal life; with their own mommy. :]

Please, keep these children.
They honest to god deserve the best.

Good luck. -x-


alia i
Can you support them financially? Do you have time to spend with them or are you at work all the time? Do they have a place to sleep and food to eat? Will you love them if you keep them? If you answered yes to these than keep them if not adoption is not a bad option. Good luck!


Hunter's mom
Rating
This is an incredibly personal question that only you can answer. My thoughts are as a person who couldn't have children of their own and as a foster parent.

You have to consider how you will feel if you keep them and how you will feel if you give them up. Consider how you will care for them, and realistically look at the options available to help you. Yes, you will have to explain to your existing children why you chose to give them up if that is what you choose, but there are many adoptive options out there. Many adoptive parents are willing to let you still have contact and interaction if that is what you want. It is conceivable that you and possibly the siblings could visit on a scheduled basis. For sure keep the twins together, this isn't a hinderance to an adoptive parent.

A friend of mine adopted a beautiful little girl who was the 5th in the biological family and the bio-mom decided she just couldn't handle one more. Their situation is great! The adoptive mom is SUPER happy to have a daughter to love and spoil, the birth mom knows her child is receiving a far better life than she could have provided. The birth mom's other kids know she gave one up but they also know it was because she loved them and the 5th child so much she wanted what was best for them. Her decision was based on her facts. She was coping/surviving with 4, she knew the 5th was more than she could do.

Be realistic but let your feelings guide you.


i'm taking it easy for now
i really think this is up to u only u know if u are able to do it, but if u do choose to put them up for adoption it would be great too u will be helping a couple u may not be able to have kids, trust me i know how the couple would feel b/c i'm looking into adoption but it is totally up to u. may god be with u and ur unborn babies


karcnr
Rating
Only you can decide that answer, no matter what others on this site say. You know what is best for your children. As for my opinion, I believe children should be raised by a mother and a father. When that is not an option, adoption into a stable family could be a good thing. You know the struggles of parenthood and with 4 children it can be rough at times, especially if you are a single parent. I don't know how you do it, if you have younger children and have to pay for daycare. I am sure you have so many hopes and dreams for these babies and love them so much, you want such a good life for them. If you are unable to give them all you want them to have, perhaps choosing a family for them that can make your dreams for them come true is a good choice. Whatever you decide, I think you should get factual information. A non profit adoption agency (one that does not make money off of you placing the babies for adoption) will help you out no matter what you decide.
Best of luck to you and your children


:)
You do what is best for you and your children. Maybe your family can help you out.

My husband and I have been waiting for a baby to adopt..it truly would be a blessing to give a life to a family.

I wish you the best.


racermom10b
I think that it is a hard decision to make. I have been looking to adopt a set of twins for nearly 3 years now. If you decide to give them up for adoption there is a great chance they will be kept together and not seperated. There are many more families looking to adopt twins, not just myself. If you ever did decide to give them up for adoption please please contact me.





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