Should a woman who abused drugs while pregnant...?

sunny

She should, of course. But addicts are not known to be the most honest of people.

Why don't these agencies, with abundant CASH, pay for the tests? Or the adopters, if that is important to them?

Lillie

Of course she should. I believe in honesty all around.

Shelly K

There are plenty of families such as what we have done ourselves that are more then willing to accept this child. Not declaring this could result in the child being placed with a family that is not equipted nor accepting of this and chances are good that a disrupted adoption would occur. Drug exposed babies are adopted everyday just as readily as those that aren't. Making sure they go to a family that can best meet there needs is a responsibility of the mother.

snowwillow20

Yes, her whole medical info should be taken and passed on to the adoptive parents.

smurfcrazie

yes the birth mother should let the adoption agency/adopted parents to be.I know a family who only adopts children who have been exposed to drugs and booze while the mothers party or are addicted.
Wouldn't you want to know what to expect before hand? During your pregnancy the adoptive family may ask you go have certain tests done to find out whether the baby has any health issues ie: FAS,Downe syndrome etc etc
The more info you give the more one can be prepared.

Andraya

They should. It isn't always the nmom who is deceitful about drug use during pregnancy though. My brother was born FAS and addicted to god knows what. The agency was well aware of what drugs were in his system at birth but never told my parents. They seemed to think that since he was dried out in the NICU that was the end of it. How untrue!

Robin

Hospital staffs often know when a child is born if it has been exposed to drugs in utero. The staff can & do test babies for the presence of drugs if they suspect mom has used.

So, while drug users cannot be relied upon to honestly disclose their drug use, their medical information should be included as part of the record.

Sadly, many agencies don't fully disclose the child's records to prospective adoptive parents. (as reported first hand by Spanky) And of course, this practice is not in the best interest of the child.

ETA: Tish, you're so right! My a.parents were alcoholics. Foster parents, too. Guess it's fairly easy to pass a home study when you're a functioning alcoholic. My dad even worked the same job for over 20 years...

And yes, the agency told some "fibs" to my a.parents about my n.mom before my adoption. I found out when I got copies of the court records.

Gee...seems there are enough misrepresentations to go around.

mcrfan14

of course 100% no doubt about it

C Wood

drug usage during pregnancy should definitely be disclosed.
Not doing so means there's a higher risk the adoptive parents will have so many problems that they'll give back the child before the adoption is complete.

If fully informed, many people would choose to take the child that was exposed to drugs. Being lied to or suffering from the sin of omission is a deal breaker.

LaurieDB

Everyone in the adoption process should be entirely upfront and honest. Anything less than that can lead to a poor outcome for the child.

Agency workers lied to my adoptive parents during the process. Although it wasn't about substance abuse, they shouldn't lie about anything. I found out they lied years later when another worker disclosed what was really in my file when I was being given my non-identifying information. She flat out told me she didn't know why my aparents thought what they thought. I know my aparents wouldn't have lied to me about it, either.

Of course, with things like substance abuse during pregnancy, the child could require medical intervention that the AP's would have not been expecting. It could lead to behavioural problems that they cannot explain. Could it mean failed adoptions? I think perhaps it could. There have been stories of failed adoptions in the papers lately due to the children having RAD. AP's weren't completely unaware and were unprepared for this condition, as agencies didn't disclose.

mscrawdad

She should, but most won't because they feel guilty. Poor baby.

TotalRecipeHound

She should and most likely has.

Children are returned because they are not 'perfect.' Moms don't have to be on drugs to have a child with ADHD, autism, or any other number of problems. A biological parent takes whatever they get. So should an adoptive parent of a seemingly healthy child. I guess some (not you) figure that they have a 2 month trial with return postage.

I also agree with Tish's comments. Most agencies (do any?) do not do any psychological testing or background checks (other than criminal) on prospective a-parents.

saucygal

My son's adoption agency has had two babies born with drugs in their system. However, they were not born addicts and had no withdrawal systems. There is a difference between being born with drugs in their system, and being born addicted to drugs. Babies can be born with drugs in their system but not be addicted or have any health problems with it.

That being said, the hospital that our son and all the other babies were born at, automatically test the babies. They also request the mothers take a test because it can be life threatening for a mom to have drugs in her system and get an epidural. A first mom, or any mom for that matter, can not have an epidural if she test positive for drugs in her system.

CPS automatically intervenes if a baby test positive for drugs. The baby can not go home with the mom if he/she tsts positive.

Obviously, I'm not sure it's like this everywhere, but this is th way it is at the hospital our son was born in.

AdoreHim

of course the adopted parents should be told- I have 2 adopted children- and our daughter's birth mom did take drugs during part of her pregnancy- and her birth dad actually died of hepatitis -due to drug addiction- so we were told- praise God though our precious daughter was fine- she just had to be immunized immediately at birth for hepatitis. Absolutely have to be told.

BPD Wife

Not sure why you are getting rude answers on this one, but hey, that is what Y!A has come to nowadays, isn't it?! : )

Yes, I do believe that all parties involved need to be as truthful as possible. Any medical conditions on both sides should be reported. That goes for adoptive parents as well as bio parents.

We need to remember that thru the entire adoption process, it is what is best for the child, not either set of parents.

Just my 2 cents.

littleJaina

Oh gosh! ABSOLUTELY!!!!

I have other opinions on this as well (no so nice) but failure to disclose that sort of information can have horrible HORRIBLE future effects on the child. Maybe the drugs will have caused no trouble at all, but then again, maybe something will come up years later that no one knows about at first. It would be awful for the child to have to endure all sorts of tests that come back with "no answer" when the truth was so easily accessed.

jgf5822

hahahaha!!!!! i assume you are joking, right????

do you seriously think an agency or lawyer is actually going to TELL that to an adopting couple? after the amount of money they are paying to buy the kid?

hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! never gonna happen! the story the purchasing parents will hear is that the b parents were all in love and such, and just needed to finish medical/law school before becoming parents. so they gave their child away for it to have a better life.

hahahaha!!! "oh, by the way, you rich, selfish adopters, that baby you paid your life savings for came from a drug using mother. just wanted to give you the heads up!!!!"

yeah, right.

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