Should adopted kids have the right to know who there birth parents are?

wholelottacats

Absolutely, 100% yes.

Adoption doesn't erase the fact that this child has a mother and a father who created them, a mother who carried them, nurtured them, gave birth to them and who is still their first mother. Adoption doesn't take away the mother's love for them, or the connection that naturally exists between them. That "information" - that connection - does not belong to anyone else to *decide* if an adoptee has the right to it. It doesn't belong to the state, to the court or to any adoptive parent. Adoptive parents don't replace the first parents, and - IMHO, don't have the right to keep that information from their child.

julie j

Hi Larissa,

Yes, everyone should have the right to know who they are and where they came from.

That is not the same thing as having a right to have a relationship with another person. Those are things that are decided between individuals. Even families raised together do not all choose to continue relationships with each other for their entire lives.

Adoptions with ongoing contact are certainly better than closed ones from the adoptee's standpoint. After all, adoption is meant to serve the adoptee's best interests. Certainly by the time the child is an adult, they should have full access to their information.

There is no reason to discriminate against adoptees and say everyone except you has a right to knowledge of their origins. That's why so many are working to restore the rights of adult adoptees to their original birth certificates. Thanks for asking.

julie j
reunited adoptee

cruzgirlz3

Yes. I believe every person should have the right to know where they came from, what their ongoing medical history is, and what their ethnic roots are. This goes for all people, not just adoptees. Many families keep secrets on paternity, in-vitro, surrogacy etc...Keeping such secrets that are the core of who we are is wrong.

MamaKate

Yes. As Possum said in another post, adoption expands a child's family - not replaces it. To ignore this is to encourage all the secrecy and separation of families. Granted, there are cases where children need to be protected from abusive individuals however aside from those situations I believe that adoption should be about two families loving and supporting a person (the adoptee) throughout their lives.

I have said many times, I believe children have inherent rights to their histories and to form their own level of relationship with the different people in their lives. At age 12, most Courts take into account the child's wishes about custody matters so why then should they not have input into their relationships until they are adults in other situations? Shouldn't their possible needs be just as important as their current ones? Shouldn't relationships be at the very least, RESPECTED, until the person to whom it may have the most effect can have a say in the choices which will influence their lives?

Kids aren't dumb - they are people. They can decide for themselves whether or not they like someone. Sometimes caregivers need to step in but in general I feel that it is far more healthy in cases of adoption for all the families to work together to benefit the child. A good parent can separate his or her feelings, needs and wants from those of the child and do what is in the child's best interests, even if it means swallowing some pride, getting feelings hurt, having a child upset with you, spending extra time or money or even sacrificing a part of themselves. Isn't that the point of being a parent?! To love your child enough to do what's right for them - even if it isn't always right for you?

Possum

Knowledge - absolutely.
Contact - absolutely.

It's all about the best parenting practices for an adoptee's psychological and emotional health.
As long as no harm is present - adoptees should be allowed all knowledge of their adoption from day 1 (age appropriately) and contact should be maintained with the first family.
(not sudden contact down the track - but ongoing, constant contact)
Adoption should be about making an adoptee's family larger - not about replacing one with another.
That is what is in the best interests of the child.
Adults need to get over themselves - and stop making adoption about them.
Children don't want to be pushed around from one family to the next.
But if an adoption should happen - the child still needs to have the knowledge and contact - just to work out who the hell they are.
I'm an adoptee - and I'm half nature - and half nurture.
Both parts make up me.
Adoptees need all knowledge and contact to come to terms with who they really are.
If the adults have a problem with that - then they're making it all about themselves.

Breezy

yes!

Diva In New York

i think so

Minnimouse

adopted children lose every other right they could possibly have so anything to try and give them some power and knowledge is benificial. An adopted child who does not know their birth parents will be always wondering, dreaming, searching, questioning, doubting.

janine k

Of course everyone has the right to know where they come from.There are various reasons as to why an adopted child would want to know about their birthparents and all of these reasons should be addressed.They vary and would,no doubt,include medical reasons and for their own peace of mind.Children who aren't adopted know their background but adoptees only have whatever their adoptive families want to tell them which,in some cases,is not much.

snowwillow20

I do now, but I was told I had no right to find her since i gave her up. I was told that she could never find me, so I was resigned to it.
Once the child is an adult, I see no reason why they shouldn't be reunited.

Hephzibah

My 21 year old son is adopted and we never kept it a secret. It was a very complicated situation (adopted son was related to us, death of the birth mother, not sure of the birth father, a half sibling of my adopted son etc. etc. etc)

But right up front we explained about his birth mom, birth dad and half sister. I believe that since we did not keep it a secret and explained as best we could he was more accepting of the situation.

He visits with his half sister all of the time and he has never wanted to go and try to find his birth father.

Heather B

YES. Every person adopted or not deserves the right to know the truth of their origins and who their parents are - it's right there in the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (articles 7 & 8)

Denying an (adopted) person equal rights to another (non-adopted) person is clear discrimination.

Katie M

definatly. I am adopted, and my parents never thought it was important to tell me who my birth parents are. i always wonder about my real parents and miss them. if i even had a picture!
i have a friend, Lucy, who was adopted from flordia and sees her mother 1 time a year and says she is happy to know her true parents, and sometimes calls her dad and mom
i have one other friend, Timmy who just learned he was adopted and longs for his blood family. He wishes he could contct them!
Therefore, i think the child and parents should be able to contact eaachother, they dont need to see eachother EVERY day, or month (etc.) but to at least know there is not a whole in the mother slash childs heart.

Freckle Face

Yes, its what is best for the child. Except for cases of abuse.

Wes M

yes.

â™¥Danielle â™¥

I believe they have the right to know who they are.
As to contact it depends why they were took away in the first place.

Doodlestuff

I think they have the right to have their original birth certificates. I think they also have a right to contact, but it can stay at just that - contact. Some birth parents want no contact with children they gave up. Some adopted children don't want contact either. Since there is no way to know without contact, I recommend doing so knowing that it could be all you get.

MNmom

Yes,I believe they should be able to have the opportunity to know who they are or info about them. I think contact should be available, depending on the situation, for example (we have an open relationship) if my daughter got mad at me and she wanted to go see her first mom just because she is torked at me then no and her first mom would also say no! Ages 16 and up and if the relationship was closed I think as a parent I would contact the first mom first to see how she felt and if it was okay I would support my child in doing so, but as his/her parent I am going to be cautious and be there with them when they meet...

Holly L

if i was adopted i would want to know,
and i would want to be able to keep in
touch with my birth parents. but maybe
you should try to talk to the birth parents
about it, and see what they would say.

Proud mommy!!!

Its up to the child they may not want to notify their parents but if they wish to no one should deny them the right to attempt to contact their birth parents.

Ted

The guidelines should be set by the birth mother, with the consent of the adoptive parents. If the birth mother wants to be anonymous, she should be allowed that. If she wants to have a 100% open adoption, she should be allowed that. If she wants something in between, she should be allowed.

fostermama

I think the kids should have the choice to contact birth parents at 16 or older, or at any age if they come up with medical needs and need family medical history information. I do not feel like the parents should have the right to contact the child. It should be the child's choice only! Some kids don't want to deal with the past or have their life disrupted!

robs_rarity

there are obviously a lot of non-adoptees answering this one - you can tell by the absolute rubbish spouted .... sorry folks but true

I was adopted at birth - 45 years ago

Here's my view:

1. All medical records/history should go with the baby/child ... this has got to be the biggest thing in an adopted persons life. It's like playing russian roulette with your health - you go to the Dr's and you get the "any blah blah run in your family" ... dont know. "Any allergies in your family " - dont know. So we run the risk that the drug / injection (whatever) is not going to kill us or make us seriously ill. What choice do we have. NOW and here is the biggy - its bad enough having had to make those choices for yourself, but what about when you have kids and you are still answering "dont know" ??? You are playing russian roulette with THEIR lives. Anyone envy us our situation on this? No I didnt think any of you would.

2. Birth parents - do we have a right or a need to know them? Well basically yes we have a right to know them BUT, not until we are old enough and stable enough to handle the emotions involved when your history is made known to you. I FIRMLY believe that 16, as it is in the UK, is the correct age to be able to access this information. To be honest if I had to change it at all I would raise it to 18. A need to know them? Some do and some dont..... thats an individual thing.

3. Do birth parents have a right to contact or know the child they gave up? CERTAINLY NOT. When the papers are signed you relinquish ALL your parental responsibilities, and that includes knowing your child. END OFF. And please all you do-gooder types, dont spout the stuff about missing the child - this woman (and man) had a CHOICE and chose not to have the child. We humans have to live with our decisions. End of story. Being perfectly honest, in the vast majority of cases I think it would do untold psychological damage to the adopted child to have a relationship with a birth mother, knowing that this person gave birth to you but doesnt want to live with you. Or you have the case where the mother (and poss father) is a drug addict ...... c'mon people is that the kind of person you want your child growing up having a relationship with??

Moral of all this is: When you are adopted your adoptive mum and dad become just that your MUM and DAD.

Oh me oh my...â™¥

I think kids have an absolute right. I do on the other hand think it should be the kids that make the contact before the age of 18. I don't think the bio parents should be allowed to contact the child until he/she is an adult.

Crucio

Once the child is of legal age then a birthparent should be able to contact them if they want. I do not think birthparents who say places their child for adoption tomorrow should be able contact the child say when the child is 5 years old or still a minor. Now once an adoptee is around the age of 12 to 14 and wants to search I feel they should be able to but there are many places that do not allow searching until adoptee is of legally age. So there might be things that would not be given to them prior to their 18th birthday.

I donâ€™t think birthparents should be able to just come into their birthchilds life whenever they feel like it.

puppy love 12

they should be able to know but if the parnets put up the kid for adoption in the first place why would they want to contact him/her.
unless it was because of a teenage prgancy than yes

rick j

its up to the birth parents

lou

I think so as long as the birth parent wants to see them otherwise that will probably just cause heartbreak for the child. If the birth parent will agree to see them then I think it should be up to the child.

Kaylon Marie B.

Yes, i think thety should have the right to know their birth parents. Because they brought them in this world. Just because if they couldnt take care of you and put you up for adoption, doesnt mean that they dont love you still with all your heart. Put yourself in their shoes. If you were adopted and you're parents couldnt take care of you at the moment and they thought it was the right time to put you up for adoption, would you want to know who you're birth parents? If i was them, i would like to know everything about my birth parents, where they come from and who they are. I would like to see them and find out everything possible. Because they brought me here and i dont want to keep them out of my life because they are the ones that brought you here on this Earth. They will always love you no matter what happens between you and the problems they are facing to put you up for. They will do everything that is possible to make sure that you have a good family that will take care of you and treat you well and let you know everything about them if they asked. This is my opinion and how i feel. Mainly because half the people i know is adopted or put their children up for adopiton because of certain reasons. -- Thanks (:

tess

YES I THINK THAT ADOPTED KIDS SHOULD DEFINITELY BE ABLE TO KNOW THIER BIRTH PARENTS BECAUSE I HAVE A BROTHER THAT IS ADOPTED AND HE IS AFRICAN AMERICAN AND WE ARE ALL WHITE AND I THINK HE FEELS OUT OF PLACE. BUT HE HAS A LOT OF SUPPORTIVE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT HIM TO GET THROUGH THE HARD TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:}

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