Should adoption be about.......?

tish_part deux

children...

adoption shouldn't be about filling empty homes with babies, for profit.

Freckle Face

Dear Jenny,

Adoption should always always be about the child.

DevonChaos

It should always be about the child. Children need parents, adults don't NEED children. They may want them so badly that things get clouded and they mistake want for need. If they think a child is going to complete them, they need counseling, and NOT a child. In fact, a child is the last thing they need.
There are so many children out there who need adults, its a shame that so many adults only want shiny new babies.

kitta

Children's needs should always be the driving force.

Sophie

Adoption should focus solely on the child(ren) involved.

â™¥â™¥Ritaâ™¥â™¥

<Cough> It should always be about the child. Fifty years ago, twenty years ago even...it was all about the family. I am finding that is still the case today. SAD. After all, children could "land" anywhere and "find" a home.....right?? Wrong.

Long ago when children had less rights than the family cow, sibling sets were split apart and shuffled around never to see each other again. Often times, the younger children may find a family who "wanted" a child.....older children found a family who "wanted" house help. That is a fact. Twins were split apart to make TWO families happy!! What about the kids?? Oh yeah, they had no rights.

It should never be about the family......always about the children.

Looney Tunes

It should be about the CHILD needing a home....

However, sadly in the majority of cases, it is not. Because if it were, there would not be over 150,000 foster children looking for families and homes.

It is mostly about the needs of adults wanting a "perfect" family including the "white blank-slate baby"

Anastasia's Mommy

I don't think you should ever adopt if you need the child to complete yourself. That's not what it is about at all, a child cannot make you complete - only you can make yourself complete. It's cruel to bring a child into your home whether it be naturally or through adoption, with a job in place for them.

Adoption should be about love and caring for another human being who is in need.

annarhi

As we were constantly told in our adoption classes, " We are looking for homes for children, not children for your homes". It's not about you, it's about the child. Not every child will be a match for your home.

myst1998

The obvious answer is ONLY if a child needs a home but then I am sure there are other ways of giving a child a stable, loving and nurturing home WITHOUT the need to falsify birth certificates and cut ties with the Natural family etc.

Adopting to fill a hole in one's own life is selfish and will not be a good foundation to build a family for a child.

Nameless

A baby needing a home. Babies are are future not commodities. Therefor a baby should be kept in the best situation possible, preferably with his or her mother or another family member however ig that is not possible with a panrent who can provide for them.

friends R gifts we give ourself

the child needing a home, if a couple needs a child to feel complete what happens when the child doesn't make them feel complete? does the child the get neglected? it should always be the child's needs ahead of the couples'. always.

opedial

Adoption shoudl be about children needing a home, being matched with those wanting to provide a home. It does meet both needs. What is most important is getting that match right. Think about it, I would not have adopted if I had not felt that need to have a child, and my choices were infertility or adopiton through foster care, and it was a no brainer, and here we are with the family we always wanted, and with children I know were waiting for a family to come.

cmc

I think the two have to go together. You can't ask someone to adopt who doesn't want to be a parent (or parent again). You also can't treat a baby/child like an accessory. Of course a "real" parent (bio or adoptive) puts their children first, but I don't think that really happens before they become your child.

Jackie B

Of course the best interests of the child have to be first. But there is this concept that everyone seems to forget. So you want to adopt. You do what you need to do. You consider all the scenarios. Doesn't anybody think that in order to adopt, having the maternal drive SHOULD be necessary? If people adopted children just because they put the child's needs first that's all well and good, but a big part of the equation has to be the desire to parent. And it is this desire, this longing that people are getting blasted for. So taking into consideration with what anti-adoption people are saying, it has to be about the child is right, but you CANNOT discount the desire for the parents to actually want to have a child. Why does this keep getting overlooked?

AdoreHim

This question or ones like it, have been asked before, and it is interesting to me the many different answers that are given. I am both an adoptee and adopted parent. I think that it can be about both. Yes, I am very grateful that my adopted parents adopted me, so that I could have a home, when my birth mother, unselfishly chose life for me , and placed me for adoption. Also I think it can be about people wanting a child. I did not adopt because I felt incomplete, however, I just wanted to be a parent. I don't think this question would be asked of a biological family do you? A couple wants a child and they get pregnant, and not too many people would ask them- "are you having this baby to give a child a home, or for you to feel complete?" So why does this question need to be asked of an adopted parent? We are not 2nd class citizens you know.

School Nurse

All of these "pat" little sayings on this forum are a bit annoying. Some people latch onto them and repeat them over and over again as if repeoting it will make it gospel. IT DOESN'T.
Yes, it is about providing a HOME AND LOVE for a child.
BUT, it is also about finding a HOME AND LOVE for a child with someone WHO WANTS A CHILD and will LOVE the child. Are you just going to put a child in just any home.....with someone who DOESN'T WANT a Chid...or can't love a child??? Get REAL.
More than anything, children NEED someone to love them.
It is about BOTH. You can't have one without the other and be successful.

hesitant_smile

I think that whatever gets an orphan into a good home is fine with me. Of course an ideal situation would be to adopt a child because you REALLY want that mother-child connection. But ultimately, as long as you're good parents and give that child a healthy environment and everything he/she needs, that's okay with me.

austinsmom916

Both. You will both be needing each other. If a couple wants a child and decide to adopt, the child will need a family. You will complete each other.

Randy B

Since both parties are involved I think that both sides are important. Without one there is no need for another and both parties need to be considered equally.

He lives

I don't ANY adoptive parents who have filled their homes for profit!!! They have all needed eachother very much!

Been there Done that

It should be about both. Both lives the adoptive parents and the adoptive child are in need of something. God brings them together and fulfills both of their lives with love and happiness.

Biena

Babies/children need loving families TO LOVE THEM
Loving families Need babies/children TO LOVE

And although a "couple"(whom personally I will call a FAMILY and I find it very rude to contently see being a couple incomparable to a couple with kids) may chose to adopt a baby to help them feel complete like a family instead of saying there doing it for the baby. Adoptive parents are just as capable of understanding that parenting and selflessness go hand in hand the same way birth parents will... Some understand right off the bat and some never do.

menotyou

both

EDIT-Since when are there "right" answers? Isn't this about opinions and other peoples' thoughts?

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