Should adoptive parents...?

BOTZ

I agree with you, Tempe.

Our a-parents are even OLDER (relatively) than yours. *sigh*

I think it should never happen, but it does.

When my little sister was 13, our a-dad was 65 and a-mother was 61. Honestly, he should NEVER have been allowed to adopt again because he'd had TWO heart attacks AND a stroke (at age 44) by the time she came along.

How could 'they' possibly think that he would reasonably be a good, or even decent, father? As far as my sis is concerned, he's always and only been OLD.

cantstopLinnyG

I believe age should be a major consideration. Adoptees face loss from the moment they are born, and the loss of their a p's would be an additional blow to them. It would also be difficult for a child to have to physically take care of their parents, due to issues that arise from aging.

kateiskate

I agree with Linny. As adoptees we have already experienced loss. Why potentially add to that by placing us with parents of advanced ages?

â™¥â™¥Ritaâ™¥â™¥

I believe the age relation should be more realistic, way more even.....but when we (adoption placing agencies) recite age as the number one reason why a perfectly healthy 55 year old couple cannot adopt this perfectly healthy newborn...guess what?? They scream AGEISM!!

Yes, they bring discrimination suits against us and then they adopt the newborn anyway.

I agree, I sit back and try to imagine what life would be like for a young person who has parents who are in their late 60s or early 70s when the teen is in high school.....and something just doesn't balance out. That picture doesn't include the parents at college graduation, at the birth of the first child....or even being able to be that involved. If older people were supposed to have babies and young children then women (and men) would have children well in to their elder years....

I try, I really do......sadly though, some of the best foster parents I know of are older. Why?? Because they are retired, they tend to be more stable in themselves and they are very maternal and paternal.....so they stay full of foster kids. Not my first choice in long term placement only because the long term picture is not always that clear.......

Take care young lady......

Randy B

I'm 45 and just adopted an infant. When she is 15 I'll be 60. At the same time I know a few couples who have had natural children at the same age as I am now so who is to say what is "normal like for the child"? People can have children at almost any age and can adopt at almost any age. There really is no "normal".

When my brother was 13 our dad turned 60. It can be normal
It was hard for me as a child to have older parents but in the end i really think i was better off then some of my friends. I think love and them being healthy is all that matters

Jennifer L

I wasn't adopted, but I was also a "menopause" baby. I grew up with a similar "age spread" that you describe. My parents were the ages of my friend's grandparents. My older siblings are old enough to be my parents. I have one niece that is 3 months younger than I am and another one who is 5 years younger than I am. I lost my father when I was 19. He had a fatal heart attack in his mid 60's.

So, I appreciate what you're experiencing, as far as the relative ages of your parents. I went through the same thing and I wasn't adopted. It happens in non-adopted families, too.

JoHn S.

What's normal? My bio parents were considered 'old' when they had their kids and their parents were even older. I have/had great parents and grandparents, regardless of their age. My dad died way too young for my liking, but that can happen to anyone, at any time.

âœ§ â“â“˜â“›â“¨ â™¥ kaelers, emy & bella

There is no "normal" age for parents any more.
Plenty of people have natural children well into their 40's, and for men much older. I know a 10 year old with a 70 year old father - all natural. His mum is in her early 50's.

My husband's parents were biological, he was a late in life only child. At age 34, both of them are dead. Granted, his father died unnaturally and his mothers' death was a freak thing, but she was none-the-less in her 40's when he was born, and died in her 70's.

Some lady in the UK had twins at age 71 last year.

If you want to put restrictions on AP's, better put them on biological parents too. Thanks to medicine, there IS no normal age any more. Biological parents can be just as old as AP's.

icehockeymom7

Are you saying you wish your parents would not have adopted you? I am trying to understand your question. Your parents could be your grandparents, or actually, they could be the age of your bio parents. People give birth to children in their mid-40's all the time.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: