Should i put my two kids up for adoption?

Lori A

opinions are like a** holes and there sure seems to be a lot of them here. I can remember being a single parent with little to no sleep, I had a job and it still wasn't enough. I can remember not being able to take my kids back to day care until I paid up the last week I owed. Jobs are scarce right now and day care can add up for 2 kids. My heart goes out to you.

I still don't want to see you give your kids up though. Try food banks, churchs, womens shelters for food. try to find someone who you can swap baby sitting time with. How about child support? I am not trying to be mean to the father, I took care of my kids for 14 years on my own. When the economy got really bad and I couldn't make it any more I turned him in for child support. The rules have changed, they will take his drivers license, throw him in jail, take his tax return, but you have to be signed up for it. Do what you can to keep your kids.

Have you checked into college? There might be something there for you. Pell grants and free day care might help you out a lot and then still use the food banks and churches. Are there and places that prepare meals in your area for people who need to feed their families? See I've been there. We have 3 or 4 near me that you can go and get dinner at least every night if you have to. Try the Salvation Army and Oasis. Why can't DHS help you with a food benefits program?

Lillie

Sigh.

And yet if you were offering up two shiny new BABIES, you'd probably have 15 offers in your inbox at this very moment.

Yet somehow once they're past the cute and cuddly stage, suddenly people realize that, Oh My God, these kids shouldn't be given away to strangers!!!

And still they don't see the hypocrisy of it all.

*banging head*

racyred

Hi Sassy

Sorry to here you are so upset and down on life right now, sounds like u have had a tough time of late. Its hard to stay on top of things when your so down.

Please before you consider adopting out your children, seek some help with your doctor first, no matter how hard this is, take yourself and the kids down to your doctor tomorrow and ask for help.

Sounds like you are suffering from severe depression, no wonder with all thats been going on in your life.

Dont beat yourself up, no matter what you will always be there mom and they love you.

Please see your doctor, they also may be able to refer you to an organisation that can help you and your children get things back on track.

Thinking of you Racy (mother of 2)

Minnimouse

It's hard for an adoptee to read this. I think it is a sensitive type of situation which is why you might get angry feedback.

I am adopted and I think you should stick with your kids.

You sound like you are depressed and you need to get this sorted. There are plenty of services available including church counselling services (you don't have to be religious) and other counselling services which provide cheap fees or fees to suit your budget. I really recommend you speak to someone, because this will at least help get a lot of the worries and tension off your chest. If you know other parents maybe you could set up a group meeting every couple of weeks to talk about worries and concerns. If you talk to people including cousellers, your doctor, other parents, you may find there are other support services available. Often places are unheard of because they are small or are not specific organisations you can look up in the phone book.

How old are your children? If they are old enough or when they are old enough ask their teacher at their childcare centre. Teachers are prepared for parents with problems and are willing to provide the appropriate support you need. They are also taught to be confidential.

If you have a room available in your house/flat you could get a boarder who can in turn look after your child instead of paying board or at least a reduced board. So when you are out at work they can help look after your children. Of course you'd have to be strict and careful who you get but it might be a great way to have some backup and support.

Ask for help, everyone needs help once in a while, and it would be best for you to get up on your feet now even if it takes a few months or years than spend the rest of your life regretting giving your children up and not taking charge of your life.

Daniel is due 27/3/09

You need some help,you feel like this because its all getting on top of you.
How old are the children if they are under 1 or a little older have you thought you might have post natal depression,which can be sorted.
Your doc is your first port of call and explain this to them,they will be able to see what is going on maybe give you meds maybe get you some help.but remember there is always help out there for you

Kelly W

Adoption is a huge step! If you really feel you cannot do it anymore then obviously as a last resort then do it.
However lack of sleep can trigger many emotions and it is important to deal with these before you make your decision.

Firstly ask yourself, if there anyone who can help you, friends, family? Can you afford to hire help. Dont be ashamed to ask for help...most people understand how hard it can be!

Secondly, there are many places you can call that offer advice and help in these situations. Dont be afraid to call them.

Thirdly, it sounds like you might be depressed, I think you should see your doctor as they might be able to deal with this feeling of helplessness you have.

If after all this you still feel the same then adoption may be the best option but you really need to be sure as you cant afford to have regrets! I hope you feel better soon.

Belinda28

You should not give them up for adoption. There are plenty of struggling parents out there. You need to join a support group that is child-friendly. Check out meetup.com .

If you are not currently on public assistance, get on it.

File for child support if you are not getting it.

Create a network of friends (meetup.com) where you can exchange babysitting at no charge.

Check out Craigs List Free Stuff section in your area when you need stuff for your kids, also check out Freecycle.org.

If it makes you feel any better, I think most single parents have been at that breaking point, but I promise it gets better.

If you are in the midwest, I can reccomend some groups and programs.

shida720

I would much rather see you give them up to someone who can take care of them than be at risk for any harm.

I am a Social Worker and if you need any advise feel free to email me on here. I'm more than glad to help if I can.

Dayle

CPS, might not be able to help you, but they might have some programs or services they can refer, you to.
Some churches, have list of programs that might be helpful.
Get on line type in parenting programs or counseling services, in your area, and see if you can get so much needed help.

I hope everything works out for you and the children.

Dane_62

Speaking as a parent of two who has a very good support system ( Wife, helpful family and Friends.)

I can really understand how a parent who doesn't have anything like that could get to the point you are at.

In the long run, if you can build a support system of your own, through a local church ( if you feel comfortable with that) your neighbors, or an official program like Parents Without Partners or the Big Brother Big Sister program.

Then you'll probably be happy that you kept the kids, but if you just don't think you can get to the point of finding other who can help you and get back to being able to emotionally and physically care for your children then adoption is a very legitimate option.

But do it cautiously and carefully, if you can manage don't just give your kids up to the foster system, try to find an adoption agency or do an independent adoption where you can hopefully place both kids in the same loving permanent home.

If you take the time and patients to give them up that way I think it will give you comfort in the future when you second guess the decision you'll have proof that you made the decision for the sake of your kids and not your own selfish convenience.

De T

You need to try to get some services. Contact CPS again and see if they can help with parenting classes and tell you where to get assistance. Help is available, you just need to catch a break. You can also talk to adoption agencies or adoption attorneys about your wish and get feedback from them. Older child adoptions are a rarity but they do happen. If this is the decision you make, you will find many people wanting to adopt children--not just babies. I have a list of people who have contacted me about resources for adopting toddlers and young children. If you decide that you can't handle them, let me know and I can put you in touch with them.

Really, though, try to get some help first. Talk to your doctor and also talk to a social worker about getting some help.

Good luck to you. I know kiddos can be exhausting.

angelfsu2002

If you lived by me I would help you out. I'd temp foster your children until you get back on your feet. I can't have anymore children and I want another child so badly. Though I don't have the large about of money to adopt, we are also in the military so fostering isn't for us since we would have to go through classes everytime we move and we move every 2-3 years. I love children and I really want more.

THINK

Yes, and you should tell people that just because they can get pregnant, doesn't mean they're capable of raising a child.

A Good A.Mom

If you truly cannot take care of a child, there are places out there that you can take the child to. There are places that you can take them to and get yourself back on track and get your children back. All Church Home is here in Texas, I'm not sure where you are located. Also there are safe havens...i.e. fire departments, police departments. They don't ask questions.

It is very sad that you cannot take care of your children, but you may be in a state of mind to begin hurting them and you need to get them out of your hands before that happens. They would be better off with someone who is more adult and has the resources to take care of them.

Remember, there are ways to prevent a pregnancy....do it.

Mom to Foster Children

*sigh*

CMLee

Your kids come first let the looser dad go and file for child support. If he doesn't work his sorry *** needs to sit in jail. As for you get some counseling take some parenting classes. Your kids need you so put on your big girl panties and take control of your life and be a good mother to your children. There is way to much assistance available to sit back and act like the sad helpless victim. Please do this for your kids they deserve a good mom.

Sean F

dont even think about getting rid of your kids becase those are your kids you hadthem and you need to take care of them when they get older and they are still in a foster home they will wonder who were my real parents and that will hurt them for there whole life not knowing who?

LadyCatherine

So get off your butt get a job, put the kids in daycare and take care of yourself them..

Tell that thing that calls himself their father to get the hell up and help or get the hell out and do not come back.

Lots of people have there family turn their backs on them.. It happens. you can still do things with out mommy and daddy helping you..

SO you give up your children and years later they come to you and ask WHY...What are you going to tell them..? You were tired and just wanted to give up..,. ?

no because they are yolur future

visvardis

so put them in foster care

Amanda T

Dont give them up for adoption, how can you even say those mean things.

MS A

There is lots of financial help available. The money is a cop out.

You are either a worthless human or you are obviously suffering from some type of mental illness. Did you not know chldren take a lot of work when you had them?

Phantom G

thats sad i mean thats what kids do okay.you did the same thing when u were little and you didn't get put in a foster home right. it's not fair for them.

tiny dan

call child protective services and tell them you cant handle it ... better than letting them suffer with an unfit mother

Marah : )

no ! dont even think about it ! that wouldnt be fair ! they are innocent kids ! well think about ur future , when u grow up and turn into an old lady :

who will carry ur bags ??
who will help you ?
who will always care about you and be your side ?

im sure u will regret that u put them for adoption

be wise and dont be " heartless"

â™¥10 weeks with baby #1

sicko

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