Should it hurt this bad?
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Should it hurt this bad?
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Alright, when I was a 20 a 19 yr old friend of mine couldn't take care of her kid at birth so she "gave" her to me. Being smart, knowing i was young and still materialistic with no job I wanted to do things the right way for the child. I asked my mom who I was living with if she would get gaurdianship of the baby that way it would be fair to the child. The biological mom signed her over. Now my mom was there mainly finacially. I took care of her outside iif the finaces. I grew up within that yr and started working and all my income went on the baby. Which left my mom not having to do much for her but be grandmama. Now that I am engaged and will be leaving moms house soon to live with my fiance things arent adding up. Nakeya is now three yrs old and calls me mom. I work full time making plenty of money. I pay my moms mortgage, all the utilites, property taxes and my car note as well as insurance, which leaves my mom paying the little she can afford. I pay for nakeyas private schooling and more. My mom doesnt have to do anything. I feed, bath, teach and most of all give her soooo much love. I mentioned to my mom that I would be moving out and I would like for nakeya to live with me. but my mom doesnt agree when all but the first nine monts of the 3 and a half yrs i have taken care of her in everyway! My fiance really wants her to live with us as well. He too works a very good job and has a four bedroom house and has made so much room for us. My mom is giving me a hard time. Who should nakeya live with? This is hard when nakeya calls me mom and calls my mom nan na all on her own. we never forced that on her. But even though my mom has gaurdianship, who should nakeya live with? Our judge says if the bio mom will sign Keya to me then i get gaurdianship (which she has agreed to) but will I be in the wrong to say I want her in my home?
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or would i be wrong to just leave and let mom raise her on her own? Id hate that but thats what she wants.
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Annonymous
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I would say that since the child call YOU mom, that she should live with you. No one can force how a child feels about someone on another-- ie, you can't make a child call you mom. If the child lived with your mom, then the child would start wondering where her 'mom.' was. I get the impression that you and your fiance are better off financially, which is a second reason why it is better for the baby to live with you. Your mom will get over it. |
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*εїз*јøɾḋÿṉ'ṡ♥ṃøṃṃÿ*εїз*
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No, I don't think that it would be wrong at all. In the beginning your friend offered YOU the baby not your mother. If you friend says that she will grant you guardianship then take it. It sounds to me that you really love Nakeya as your own flesh and blood daughter and she loves you as her own flesh and blood mother, she calls you mom, so she will always look at you as that. You take care of her as a mother would and she has already had one mother let go of her because she couldn't take care of her and now that she has a mother that can, don't leave her behind. I say you should take your little girl and your mother will just have to understand. |
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Fox29
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move out and TAKE the child WITH YOU. if your mom wants to fight it, take her to court. odds are, with your finacial situation, YOU WOULD GET CUSTODY. |
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LovetheLORDfirst
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After your edits, I have to wonder what motivates you to put her in private school (I support this.). Are you Christian; is it Christian School? If so, pray about what to do.
Also, why not wait 'til you're married to move in together? This would also delay any decision making. Time usually cures these situations, makes them more clear. God bless! |
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Richard's Angel
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you have legal rights to take nekeya, beautiful name by the way |
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mommyof208
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she is your daughter , take her with you!!!! let Nakeya's first mom sign rights over to you first so you can't get in trouble for kidnapping , good luck! |
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nonosmommy
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You should keep paying for whatever you have been paying for, school, clothes, food, housing, all of it. But as for who Keya lives with, you and your mother should share custody. The baby is used to living with you both. |
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Pheonix
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Your mum would have the legal right if it went to court but try and convince your mum to take the childs feelings into consideration. If your mum won't budge I don't see much you can do except try and see the child as much as possible. It's a difficult situation. Diplomacy and patience will be called for. Tread carefully.
I hope everything works out for the best. |
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