Should one adopt a kid if one pap has a chronic disease?

I was diagnosed with a chronic disease, contrary to the medicine point of view, I have improved greatly instead of getting worse, I feel better each day. The limitations are physical, not running, not carrying more than 40 pounds, take a bunch of pills, a couple of days a month I'm tired and have to stay in bed. That is it.
There are no foster care homes or forced adoptions in my country. Only bad condition orphanages with children truly on their own.
I'd like to give a child the chance to have a family, an older orphan or siblings from 5 to 9 years old. I'm married, 34 yr old, work full time at home, christian. We have a lot of love, patience, values, and material blessings to share.
I may have a few years left, maybe I'll live 10 more years, maybe 20, nobody knows. What worries me is to do more damage than good if I die and increase the child's abandonment issues.
Could you please give me your opinion? Thank you in advance.
Additional Details
P.S. I can hire a nanny to come home everyday, specially if I am tired. Good point Happy mom.

red elephants

This can be a pretty touchy topic and often, like already mentioned, agencies or countries will have health requirements in place that you would have to pass and have a dr sign off on.

The limitations can be dealt with pretty easily and really shouldn't stop you from adopting. My good friend adopted a 9 month old about a year ago and has many of the same limitations as you do. I think it can be harder on her some days but overall she does a fantastic job and gets through it.

The uncertainty of your health in the long run is a concern but really any of us could die at any time. Being in good health at adoption isn't a guarantee for any adoptive parent that they won't be in a car accident, become ill suddenly, etc and their child have to go through another loss. Unfortunately its part of life.

Things I would think about...Would your husband be able to carry on if something did happen to you? Would he be able to handle raising children on his own and getting them proper help to deal with the loss (financially and emotionally)? Will you be able to explain the possibilities to your children that something could happen to you?

Since you are interested in adopting older kids who have a harder time being placed and living conditions being what you describe I would personally think being adopted with the possibility of loss would be better than living in an orphanage until you are old enough to leave on your own. Its something I would pray about also.

If I were in your position and decided to adopt something I would do is write my kids a letter or multiple letters. On different topics that can be given at different ages. For example their high school graduation, college graduation, marriage, getting their drivers license, etc. Life events you'd want your mom to be part of and that I could tell them how proud I was and how I had dreamed of that day, etc. Just something I would want to do and would have wanted if I lost my mom growing up.

Jennifer L

I think it depends on what the chronic disease is and what your reasonable prognosis would be.

Some chronic diseases, if well managed, have little to no outcome on life expectancy or quality of life. For example, if a person is a well controlled diabetic, I don't think that should preclude them from adopting.

What concerns me is your own uncertainty about your life expectancy. Maybe ten more years, maybe twenty. That's a pretty uncertain prognosis. It sounds as though you are challenged with a significant disease process.

Obviously, nobody here can give a diagnosis or a health assessment. This is something for your doctor to determine: what is a reasonable estimate of your prognosis and expectation for your long-term quality of life.

My opinion is that if you can expect a less-than-normal life expectancy or if it is expected that your healthcare needs will be significant in the future, OR if the outlook is completely uncertain, then you should not adopt.

Best of luck.

HappyMomAnna

Limitations are one concern but, with an older child this may not play as big of a role. I would be very important that an older child did not end up being your care giver... You would want to be the child's care giver and with some older children you could do that even if you have physical limitation.

I have no idea what the rules in your country would be. But, I know that in general most adoption will not happen if a parent is not considered healthy enough to expect to still be alive when the child is of age to be considered an adult.

Things could be different where you are, there may be ways to offer children what you have to share. It may be possible for you to offer a respite or retreat for some of the children with a special arrangement or use the healthy energy you have to help out or visit with the children at the orphanages?

cantstopLinnyG

Adoptees have tremendous loss already. Its not fair to adopt a child if there is a chance you wont be here. Yes, I realize anyone could walk outside and get hit by a car, but if you have been diagnosed with a disease which could render you immobile, or cause you to die, it is irresponsible to adopt. We have enough issues already.

Heather B

No. Not if you are concerned with the best interests of the child.

Losing one parent is bad enough. But losing a second is just devastating.

Independ"ant"

No......and I don't think you should be allowed to.

No need to drag kids into your maybe I'm dying maybe I'm not situation.

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