Should teen mothers be FORCED to give up their babies for adoption?

New England Babe

No. You can never predict human behavior so saying that a teenage mother from a bad home will be a bad mother is no more accurate than saying an adult married woman from a good home will be a good mother.

The woman having the child has the right to decide and hopefully will make the right decision for herself and her baby. Just like any woman who finds herself pregnant by accident.

78% of all human beings are here because they were an accidental pregnancy.

Some young girls have their babies and grow up really fast. Having disposable income doesn't make any mother a better mother so that shouldn't be an issue.

A teen mother who has WIC and even welfare will most of the time pay it forward when they get their education and a good job.

I was 19 when I got pregnant and 20 when my daughter was born. I stayed home with her for 9 months and then found work I could do at home, went to college and by the time she was 12 I was the director of a division of the company I worked for. Being a young mother drove me to succeed and my 19 yr old daughter is amazing. Self reliant and responsible and sometimes she scares me because she does work so hard for what she wants. Should she have been ripped from me? I would have died inside without her.

I also now have a husband and a 5 yr old son and my daughter is a great big sister.

Darya

No!

While adoption should be and is an legit option for teen mothers, no mother should be *forced* to part with her child. It's just plain wrong.

Besides, some teens I personally know are much better mothers than some adults I know.

Grace

Well, excuse me. HELL no. While teen pregnancy is a problem, any mandatory action against the mother would be a violation of their civil rights, not to mention something bordering on a crime against humanity and highly unethical. Situations in life are often complicated but honestly, we all have our issues to deal with and consequences to pay for our actions. There is no guarantee that the babies would benefit being removed. Many incidences of child abuse occur in a 'family' environment, what your argument might define as a preferable situation. There's no guarantees in life - what may appear to be an ideal situation often is not. My parents married and raised four children and to outsiders the family seemed quite normal and agreeable - and I was emotionally and physically abused. My neighbor, a friend the same age as me, suffered the same. I knew about her experience because I had my eyes open but she was unaware of my situation. All we can do is the best we can do, and the system will always favor the mother of the child and the rights of the mother initially. Nothing is perfect, but taking a child could end up causing more harm. We all have the opportunity to grow from our experiences in life, and who knows how that young woman could develop. Nothing guarantees anything.

Besides, just to illustrate a point, Hitler had a very average middle-class childhood, of course with an aggressive father, but not so different from others. His father was a civil servant, his mother a gentle loving woman. And serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer, came from what started as a very normal middle-class family. His father worked in a laboratory and his mother was an instructor. You just never know how things will turn out and even though something starts out risky, it can get better. Every teenage mother deserves the chance and the choice - there are risks either side of the issue and there are successes and dreadful failures as we all know too well. Even the best meaning parents, loving parents, stable people can fail their children.

AnnaBelle

No, no and no! OMG, NO!

I worked with teen moms. Most of them made great parents. With enough resources and emotional support they can thrive. In fact, many thrive without that, but I personally believe that providing emotional, financial, and educational support to ALL parents who need it is crucial to a healthy society, regardless of the age of said parents.

My parents were older when they had me. My mother was near 40, and my father was well into his 40's. They were addicts, chronically poor, thrice bankrupt, and we often went without. And I don't mean went without clothes, or nice stuff. I mean utilities and food. Poverty doesn't evaporate when you hit your mid-twenties. People of ANY age can have problems, and to assume that those problems will only exist in teen/young parents is ludicrous.

Where were those agencies breathing down my parents' necks "urging" or "forcing" them to give me away, mmm? Not a one. After all, they were so well "established"...

this is just the beginning :)

No; that's absolutely ridiculous. If the teen mom is drinking and smoking and doing harmful things while pregnant, maybe. In my state (TN), I believe child services may even take the baby away for that.

I am about to be 17 and almost 9 months pregnant. I graduated high school at 16. While I got fired for being pregnant, my college is paid for by scholarships so I'm using the money saved up for my college for doctor bills and for things baby needs until I get a job after I have her. If someone ripped her away from me, I would be devastated. My little girl is my life! I'm not sure what kind of mother I am going to be, but I hope it is a good one.

You never know, you could rip a baby from a potentially great teenage mother and put him or her in a pretty pathetic home. I know in TN the foster care programs are horrible! Being a parent is difficult whether you're 16 or 26 or even 36.

Mommy*

I am a teen mom and a damn good one at that. yes some teen moms aren't that good. but neither are a lot of adult moms. so tell me the difference.. i had an apartment and was in college while pregnant with my son. he has everything he needs. and much more. hes got all the love he needs!!! it does violate the rights of a mother if they (for no reason) take their baby. just because you are a teen doesn't mean you can't emotionally or financially do it. honestly my son is making me a better and more responsible person. everyday. i do not regret him for one bit. and never will. stereotyping... hate it.. having children, you will learn things that you never thought possible. i have the opportunity to learn them before many people. whats to bad about that? as long as the baby's fine what really makes a different how old someone is.

Snickette

It violates the rights of everybody involved when someone is FORCED to relinquish their child (unless there is abuse/neglect of course).

Brandee

NO!!! Just because someone is a teen mom does not make her a bad one. Im twenty one years old and have two children. My oldest was born when I was 18. My children are my world and Im a great mother. I could not picture my life without them. Yeah I may not have a lot of money, but I make plenty to put a roof over their heads, and they have plenty of toys and clothes. When Im not working I spend all of my time with my babies. I do not party or leave my kids with sitters. I know a lot of woman ten years older then me that are not great mothers. I do not think we should judge a person's motherly skills by age. I have 100 percent motherly skills and love for my children.

dreamchild

I don't think they should be FORCED, I think it should be an option I COULD NOT SLEEP IF I DID THAT TO MY KID ......If I had any THAT IS

kidmindi

It is ABSOLUTELY not in the best interest of anyone, except the adoption industry and PAPs, for a teenager to be forced to give her child up.

The child has the RIGHT to be raised by its MOTHER.

There is no guarantee that the older, financically stable happily married couple will always be financially stable or even happily married, but it is a guarantee that a teen mom won't be a teen for ever.

I have known MANY great teen moms, including my ex SIL who had a baby, and raised her at 14....oh and myself who had my first at 19.

Tarra

Nope. I disagree completely.

PS. I see you changed your name Wally / Walter. Why is that?

Cup of sherry

No one should be forced to give up a baby or child for adoption. That being said, no all people are cut out to be parents weather they can have the natural or adopt. I grew in a children's home and I saw a lot of young women coming in pregnant and most were considering giving the baby up. I would say over half of them would change their mind and keep the baby. And sometimes, that prove to be good and sometimes not. About half of those kids would come back around 18 months to the home. There were many reasons why the children would come back, mostly it seem because the mother was still a kid herself. So I think it is good to give the girl her options and if she decided to parent, someone needs to step up and guide her through it

Pip

Ditto my answer to your other question.

It is actually illegal to force ANY mother regardless of her age to surrender her child in the UK but it still happens.

No it isn't best for all involved,

No it isn't best for the mother, the best thing for the mother is to raise her child that she has bonded
with.

No it isn't best for the baby, what's best for him/her is to be raised by their mother.

Yes it does violate the rights of the mother to force her to surrender when she is capable of and wants to raise her child.

Just because a mother is poor doesn't mean she shouldn't be able to raise her child. You don't have to be rich to be a good parent. If you asked if it violates the rights of the baby not to be raised by their mother then I would hae answered yes. In an ideal world all babies would be born to couples who are financially stable but this isn't an ideal world. Being poor doesn't mean that you will be a bad parent. Rich parents are just as likely to be bad parents as poor ones just as poor parents are just as good parents as rich ones.

Don't we just know you're pro adoption and pro forcing young mothers to surrender just because they are young.

snowwillow20

No, who's to say if she will be a good mother?
No, babies should be with their mother's unless there is abuse.
No, babies should be with their mothers.
Of course it violates her rights.
Sure it does, the baby has no say.

Babies should only be put up for adoption if they are truly orphans or if they have been abused.

Heather ~ Not a Perfect Mom ~

No way. I know some teen moms that are better moms than some older Moms. I donâ€™t think anyone should be forced to give a child up for adoption unless abuse has been proven.

I had my 1st child when I was barely 18 and my 2nd when I was 21 (and adopted my youngest when I was 32).

My oldest son is attending a top rated University on a full academic scholarship. My middle son is working full time and attending a local college part time. So many people told me they were doomed because I was a teen mom. I think that made me try so much harder to be a good role model and prove others wrong. They may not have had a lot a material things, but we found cheap ways to do things together (a trip to the beach or hiking)

My adopted sonâ€™s mother was in her late 30â€™s when she had them. Iâ€™m not saying I was a better choice, Iâ€™m just pointing out that age shouldnâ€™t be a factor in determining a good or bad mom. I have two sisters that were pregnant at the same time. One was 16 and the other was 28. The 16 year old is a far better Mom than the 28 year old.

lalala

I disagree. Everyone's situation is different. I know plenty of young mothers who are mature and stable enough financially and emotionally for a baby. It all depends on the mother's life and family life. I feel that children's services should be regulated to check everything out all the time to make sure everything in the baby's environment is suitable.

Felann

No, they should be helped to keep them.

AdriannaLynnDueSoon28weeks along

uhm no !

xjasmine

Bookwarm

Your making an assumption here that the child will be raised in an emotionally and finacially unstable environment, when you can't prove that. Not all teenage mothers raise their children in emotionally or financially unstable environment, not are all adoptive parents perfectly financially and emotionally stable. Removing a child from its home is not a viable way to guarantee financial stability, helping the mother and child become financially stable is.

Beto's mommy

NO WAY

-â˜…Dark Stars Aboveâ˜…-

I think it depends on the situation.
I mean, if the child is fed with shelter, then i think the kid should stay.
There are so many kids being put up 4 adoption..

Lady Rowan

No! Noone should be forced to do anything.

Yarr

Of course not.

But nor should we pay for it. They made the mistake, they should step up.

It makes very little sense to reward people for making stupid decisions by giving them free money.

GOGREEN

I don't think they should be FORCED, i think it should be an option...

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