Single Parent Adoption?

I asked a question a little bit ago and someone mention that it would be hard to adopt being a single person. I don't plan on getting married because I don't feel I need a man in my life to start a strong family for myself. Right now I am 21 and work as a paralegal. I make good money, own my own car and house. I have a good family support system and good friends. I also live in Florida. I want to adopt a baby but in about four years when I turn 25. I'm open to international adoption but I have been hearing some countries are closing adoption to singles plus I don't know about the travel that international will require. How hard will it be to adopt here in America opposed to internationally as a single person?

Marie C

Yes, a lot of countries have closed to singles, including China. But it is still possible in certain countries, including Russia and Kazakhstan. International adoption in Eastern European countries is very expensive, involving two trips to the country, and a long stay when you get there.

Here in America, your best option is the foster care system. It should be easy for you to adopt from that avenue, and relatively inexpensive as well. A domestic infant adoption will be extremely difficult, and your chances of being selected by a birthmother are small.

God Saves!

I would recommend adopting from the country first. If you have your heart set on an international adoption Rwanda is now open for adoption to couples and singles. It's about 1300 round trip from Canada I'm not sure about from the states. It's fairly cheap to stay there as you'll probably stay at the orphanage itself.

Tracey Seth

Whether or not you need a man to basically complete you is fairly immaterial when it comes to raising kids. As a 40 year old mom, with five kids, ages 13 to 20, I can tell you that having their dad around was not a matter of completing me as much as it was about having his HELP!!!

While there is much joy in raising kids, (wouldn't trade 'em, can't imagine life without 'em) it is a lot of mudane and unpleasant work as well. When it's 3 AM and junior is up with the croup or spewing vomit across the room, and you have an important meeting the next day, BELIEVE ME it makes a difference to have the other parent there to help you run interference or at least take a shift.

Parenting has been at times the most difficult and trying time of my life. It has tested me to the limits. When your 16 year old son or daughter, looks you in the eye and tells you they aren't coming home when you tell them to, do you really think you will be turning them over your knee or reasoning with them otherwise? Yeah, good luck with that. If nothing else, you need another adult ( preferably the FATHER) to back you up and explain in no uncertain terms what is and is not expected, even if it is the unspoken threat of getting flattened like a pancake if son or daughter uses "that tone" with their mother again.

Last but not least, kids deserve two parents. They deserve to see behavior modeled from more than one influential person in the home. They deserve to see how a relationship between two people works so that they have an idea of how to do that for themselves when they become adults. There's even an advantage where when one parent might have to be the heavy, the other can be the softie.

It's not enough to have a stable job and a good income to raise a child. You need support from someone who has just as much investment and sake in the raising of that kid. It's been done before without, don't get me wrong, but it's less than optimal all the way around.

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