So I tell my friends that I don't want to be pregnant and have kids, I tell them that I want to adopt...?

Bodhi

I am adopted, and I am so close to my Mom that we joke about being "selectively psychic", because we're only psychic when it comes to each other. We had all the usual ups and downs, a very normal Mom/daughter relationship, and we love each other dearly. The thought of anyone else on this earth being my Mom is silly. Whether you believe in God or not, someone up there meant for her and I to be together.

This is not meant to dimish my First Mom in any way. Although I haven't met her, I hold her in the highest regard. I silently thank her, all the time, for getting me to my Mom and my family. I wish she knew how happy I am, and always have been. I would give anything to let her know how thankful I am to her, and how proud I am to have come from her.

But would I love her more than my Mom because I gestated inside her? Tough to say. I think it depends on the people involved in the relationship, not on the automatic boundaries imposed by biology. My Mom is an incredible woman, and that's a big reason why I love her so. My First Mom may not have been, and growing up with her might not have been pleasant. Or, vice versa - my First Mom might have been a wonderful person and my Mom could have been a nightmare. Point is, it's not so much the biology that dictates the bond as it is the people involved.

Aliza E

forget it, girl!! Adopted kids are just like normal kids. For example I'm adopted, and I could never be more happier, neither my parents! Dont create new children, save the ones who dont have a home!

V. RAMZAS

i would love to adopt but im scared that i wouldn't love my child like i know i should but wouldn't be able to help myself. i know i could never put myself or any innocent child through that.
even though there are some people out there that can adopt and love that child like they carried it for nine months i don't think i can. but everyone is different. only you know how you would feel
so if you have any doubt in your mind that you wouldn't feel connected to your child that was adopted then don't do it.
once you adopt there's no turning back

shippy34@ymail.com

I am in the process of adopting a 14 year old girl but have been fostering 1-5 years olds for awhile. Some of the kids I have fostered were really hard to get close too but I always made it work. I have had a few kids that I have loved so deeply that I can't imagine loving anymore more. That was just fostering and was only for a few months. I think there is a whole other love associated with adoption- Your parents chose you, they wanted you so badly they went out and found you. My best friend is adopted and he never really even thinks about it. His mom and dad are the only mom and dad he has and will ever have. He is very well adjusted and extremely happy!

breynnmike

I have two biological kids but if I was to adopt a child I don't honestly think I would love him/her any less.

âœ§ â“â“˜â“›â“¨ â™¥ kaelers, emy & bella

I have a biological daughter and am in the process of adopting my nieces. I don't love any one any more or less than the others.

I assumed that I wouldn't be able to love another child as much as my biological daughter, actually. I never intended to adopt, and my biological daughter was only 2 months when my nieces came to live with us, and it amazed me how much I loved them and how quickly the attachment happened. Alas, it did happen, and now I'm left imaging how I could have thought otherwise.
No, I don't love them less because they're adopted. Right now, I could safely say that I love them more, or at least am more attached to them, since I've had more time to get to know them as individuals and people, while my n-daughter is just a baby and isn't able to communicate on that level yet. It'll happen in time, but I think it's natural to feel closer to the older children than an infant, no matter if the family is by adoption or birth.

I was adopted when I was 11 by my godfathers, and met my biological father for the first time when I was 14 or 15. While I do love my biological dad, I don't love him like I do my parents. I just can't. Perhaps I was too old when I met him, maybe if I'd been younger and my godparents had not been in my life, I would have taken to him more, but I just didn't. We're good friends and I like spending time with him and his family, but I don't think of him as my father at all.
I don't think of him as my "real" father... my real fathers are the men who raised me and taught me and who I shared the latter half of my childhood with, and though I know my biological dad would have been a fantastic father had he got the chance or known of my existence before I was a teen, he wasn't the one who was around.

Abigailallheart76

I am in a family full of adopted kids. I am the only biological one, I have an adopted bro and sis. My sister was adopted internationaly and my brother was adopted localy. I love them as if they were biological. In my opinion it makes no difference. Plus I have a total of 5 cousins who are adopted. And I love them just the same! When I grow up I want to adopt. And my parents and aunts and uncles love the adopted children just the same. I also have many friends who are adopted. It makes no difference. You also have to bond with biological children. It just may seem easier. When really it is the same. Good Luck on your adoptions! :)

nikkol z

I have a sister who we had since she was 3 months and I love her the same I would love any sister shes 17 now and we are so close we are like best friends

HappyMomAnna

I have four children two biological and two adopted I just forget which is which!

Actually, My Bond with my Children is unique with each one of them. I would say my Bond with my adopted daughter is the strongest at This point in time. My most difficult Bond was with a biological child.

If you are talking about the Mother's Bond to the child that is one thing--if you are talking about the child's Attachment with their adoptive parents that's a different story.

For me My Bond is My Bond and there are no problems--for my children my goal is to parent them in a safe, secure and loving environment--If they grow up to spit in my fact at least I did the best I knew how and will have the adult relationship I have with them for as long as it lasts--which I sure hope is a lot longer then when they were children....

SofiaS

You will have the same bond... trust me.

lizctpd628

Wow, that's crazy, of course you will bond with the adopted child. My mother adopted a baby from Guatemala, and when she got the baby he was only a few weeks old, she was able to even breast feed the child. If that's not bonding, I don't know what is. Don't worry about what other people think. Everyone is a critic and everyone has an opinion.

Jennifer L

I have three children: one that I carried and birthed and two from adopted.

I don't love my adopted children any less than my biological child.

There are some people who have said they couldn't love a child not of their body.. or not love them as much. I think it's great they can recognize that in themselves and they should never adopt.

cantstopLinnyG

You probably won't. You will have a bond, but not the bond that women who give birth to their baby will have. It is impossible, as they did NOT give birth to the child.

As an adoptee, I can say with my parents, that your statement is true. BUT- it is a DIFFERENT sort of bond/love, one that I really cannot find adequate words to express.

My brother and I were adopted, my sister was their bio daughter. There was an unspoken bond our mother had with her...on a cellular, biological level. How could there NOT be? She had her. They came from the same gene pool. My sister knew our Mother's voice BEFORE she was born- knew her breathing patterns, her sleep habits, her emotional reactions, we did not. That is not something unusual to my Mom. That is a PROVEN scientific fact.

So yes, a p's can and DO bond with and love their adoptive children as much as their bio kids, but to say it's the same kind of bond/love goes against science.

Also, as an adoptee in reunion, I can say I love BOTH sets of parents and I am bonded to both sets....but it's DIFFERENT.
As a woman who is adopted, and who has given birth to her OWN children, I know I could not bond with an adopted child like the ones I gave birth to and are physically a part of me- it's impossible.

And women who breastfeed an adopted child are sick. They use hormones to induce lactation, and that is NOT healthy. They do NOT have the colostrum which is made ONLY by women who have given birth, even if they artificially induce breastfeeding, and THAT is where a woman's immunities are. It's a sick game they are playing with their brains. They need psychological help.

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